Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 29, 2024, 3:25 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Oh, No! The Catholics
#11
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
It makes me think of the Moral Orel episode "God's Chef"

wikipedia Wrote:In an unseen event, Orel discovered masturbation a week ago and enjoys it to the point that he sneaks off to the bathroom at school where he is caught by Clicky, the janitor. He is then told, first by Principal Fakey, and later, Reverend Putty that masturbation, among other things, is worse than murder and that he'll go to hell for it. Putty explains that every sperm must be used to make babies. Seeking to continue masturbating without going to hell, Orel consults Clay on where babies come from. Using a book specializing in age-appropriate conception tales, Orel is told that "God's chef" comes down to sleeping women each night fills them with his 'delicious glaze from his holy pastry bag'. Taking this to heart, Orel borrows his mother's pastry bag and proceeds with breaking into houses each night, filling the bag with his sperm, and impregnating the sleeping women, hereby taking on the role as "God's Chef". After a month, an entire block experiences a wave of pregnancies, raising alarm in the community as some couples hadn't consummated yet. However, Orel is caught in the act that night and is about to be taken away by police when his father arrives to take him to the study. There, he first scolds Orel for being out past curfew. After Orel admits that he did it because he wanted to spread his seed, Clay first explains that "God's Chef" is more of mythical figure like Santa Claus and Charles Darwin, and in an odd turn of events, admits that keeping Orel ignorant about sex was wrong and incorrect behavior. Then proceeds to explain to Orel that there can only be one way to make babies the missionary position, citing the lost 12th Commandment and admonishes Orel for using the pastry bag as a fun and unusual implement. When Orel asks if he should spank Clay after he admitted that he was wrong, they share a laugh but Clay quickly refuses. This is the final episode that was held back due to Standards and Practices for its strong sexual themes.

Here are some hilarious clips:


http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeI...42d7900d33

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeI...57141aea2f
"The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason." Benjamin Franklin

::Blogs:: Boston Atheism Examiner - Boston Atheists Blog | :Tongueodcast:: Boston Atheists Report
Reply
#12
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
None of this surprises me,when I was a Christian my pastor once preached a sermon where he suggested we pray before sex and this was over 15 years ago.I came from the Pentecostal faith and they just thought that when you had sex you were open to all sorts of temptations from Satan.Such as screwing your spouse up the ass or doing something horrible like oral sex,they suggested that you should only do the missionary position lol.
There is nothing people will not maintain when they are slaves to superstition

http://chatpilot-godisamyth.blogspot.com/

Reply
#13
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
I think you dreamed all of that CP Wink
Reply
#14
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
Lol there fr0d0 then as I am typing this I think I might actually be sleep walking.
There is nothing people will not maintain when they are slaves to superstition

http://chatpilot-godisamyth.blogspot.com/

Reply
#15
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
No, fr0d0... unless i share the same horrible nightmare Smile

A number of Christians actually believe this stuff... and that's where 'anti-sodomy' laws begin.

(Which is quite ridiculous, of course)
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
Reply
#16
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
It was just the image of the local pastor preaching about "screwing your spouse up the ass" that didn't quite ring true.

And I was joking. The whole thing sounds absurd to me. I dunno how anyone could have the front to come out with it. telling ppl how to have sex??? Crazy.
Reply
#17
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
My pastor wasn't so liberal in his speech when he suggested that... but that is the implied message written in an understandable language Smile
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
Reply
#18
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
Now who's getting slimey? Wink My x pastor warned the teenagers to cool it with the hugging which was quite right IMO. Was that tantamount to dictating their sex lives in the same way??

Hmm... Bishop to G7: Check! Big Grin
Reply
#19
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
Unless he said that it is evil and that it is the devil's sport (or the like): in no way as dictating. Still dictating (he asserted it upon others), but not as coercively.

Your Bishop is checking me from G7!? You don't know so much about chess, do you fr0d0? ^_^ If you are checking me with a Bishop at G7... then i have played a VERY bad game of chess Tongue So bad, i think it could register in the world records o.o

(Hint: G7 is one diagonal space away from the king-side corner...)
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
Reply
#20
RE: Oh, No! The Catholics
Improbable but not impossible ...Thinking Big Grin

Check again! Tongue
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Are Catholics The Most Criminal? Asmodeus 17 892 December 6, 2024 at 7:28 pm
Last Post: Simon Moon
  Do Catholics have most boring churches/ liturgy? Fake Messiah 55 10409 October 22, 2016 at 5:06 pm
Last Post: BrokenQuill92
  Catholics are victims of marriage equality (apparently) piterski123 76 12590 July 5, 2015 at 12:57 pm
Last Post: Pyrrho
  Religious "nones" now outnumber Catholics in US nihilistcat 20 4849 May 25, 2015 at 1:37 am
Last Post: Anomalocaris
  Catholics: Chocolate or Death! Metis 4 2544 February 16, 2015 at 12:09 pm
Last Post: Metis
  Just When You Think The Catholics Minimalist 24 6788 April 23, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Last Post: Thor



Users browsing this thread: 4 Guest(s)