Hello, I don't believe in god.
In school I asked the teacher why green was called green and she said, "it just is" At 8 years old I started contemplating manipulation before I knew anything about the concept of manipulation.
When I was 10 we went to a half black/half white baptist church. I wonder now whether the segregation was forced or not, because the week after my brothers and I broke the color barrier by sitting with the black folks we changed to a different church. Keep in mind my parents never went to church with us, like most of you at a young age I was exposed to the indoctrinating babysitting cartels of public schools and churches.
Our new baptist church was a place of misery and abuse. The teenagers that were "employed" to watch the kids were physically abusive. When it was time to accept jesus into our hearts I remember the pastor yelling at 20 kids age 9 to 12 at the top of his voice. The yelling was disturbing and I half-heartedly did the dirty deed, but when I didn't feel any different I started wondering about religion. I wondered if the abuse and yelling was what god wanted from his worshippers.
That was my last run-in with religion up until my wedding. It was somewhat religious. Although my wife is an agnostic, my wife's family paid for it and I didn't want to step on any toes by exposing my anti-theist thoughts. It wasn't in a church and the pastor only said a few prayers and quotes from the book. It sure made me feel uncomfortable when everyone prayed for us. We still have the picture holder with the corinthians quote in a box somewhere. Perhaps that box is also holding the resentment I feel about doing it "thier way" instead of ours.
Fast forward to today:
As I was walking down the street I saw a worm scooting down the hot sidewalk faster than I had ever seen a worm scoot. I unreasonably praised the worm for it's dilligence and then realized that I often do this. I save bugs from drowning, I let flies and spiders out of the house into freedom, My heart sinks when I see a bird with a clipped wing and wonder how I can help - all these things are done by a person with no help from god....however.
When I was young and religious I would do terrible things to insects like throw a fly in a spider's web or cover an ant hill with a plastic bubble and watch them squirm, I never wondered if these poor creatures felt fear. I will confess to being a kid in an abusive environment, so religion isn't the sole reason I did these things. I got older and wiser, I guess. But something has happened within the last few years that has made me change my views on morality and it took a few christians to make me see it.
One guy was my boss, church board of directors member and all the religious bells and whistles that come with it, sometimes I think he carried a bible wherever he went. He was a very nice person and very motivating. He kept his faith and his business seperate except for at moments of personal council, when you needed his help with an issue he was always there to listen...but you knew you were going to hear an awkward prayer afterwards. This man adopted 3 special needs kids and donated a lot of time and money to the people that needed help, it really opened my eyes on what you can do to make a difference.
The other guy is my father-in-law. Apparently he was a real S.O.B. when he was younger, but after life threating surgery he became born-again. The thing that gets me is I have never seen him upset, even when his drug addicted daughter(my wife's sister) stole from his wallet for the third time in as many months, it took a lot out of him to kick her poisonous ass out of the house. He is always there for his neighbors and I can gaurantee if you knocked on his door asking for gas or food he would help you, no matter who you were. This man showed me it's awesome to be a good person, but it's a lot more rewarding to be a great person.
These people are part of the reason I have become a thoughtful, friendly productive member of this society, so if I can give you some good advice it would be:
"Don't turn someone away because of what they believe, give everyone a chance to prove their worth to you."
tl;dr Hi.
In school I asked the teacher why green was called green and she said, "it just is" At 8 years old I started contemplating manipulation before I knew anything about the concept of manipulation.
When I was 10 we went to a half black/half white baptist church. I wonder now whether the segregation was forced or not, because the week after my brothers and I broke the color barrier by sitting with the black folks we changed to a different church. Keep in mind my parents never went to church with us, like most of you at a young age I was exposed to the indoctrinating babysitting cartels of public schools and churches.
Our new baptist church was a place of misery and abuse. The teenagers that were "employed" to watch the kids were physically abusive. When it was time to accept jesus into our hearts I remember the pastor yelling at 20 kids age 9 to 12 at the top of his voice. The yelling was disturbing and I half-heartedly did the dirty deed, but when I didn't feel any different I started wondering about religion. I wondered if the abuse and yelling was what god wanted from his worshippers.
That was my last run-in with religion up until my wedding. It was somewhat religious. Although my wife is an agnostic, my wife's family paid for it and I didn't want to step on any toes by exposing my anti-theist thoughts. It wasn't in a church and the pastor only said a few prayers and quotes from the book. It sure made me feel uncomfortable when everyone prayed for us. We still have the picture holder with the corinthians quote in a box somewhere. Perhaps that box is also holding the resentment I feel about doing it "thier way" instead of ours.
Fast forward to today:
As I was walking down the street I saw a worm scooting down the hot sidewalk faster than I had ever seen a worm scoot. I unreasonably praised the worm for it's dilligence and then realized that I often do this. I save bugs from drowning, I let flies and spiders out of the house into freedom, My heart sinks when I see a bird with a clipped wing and wonder how I can help - all these things are done by a person with no help from god....however.
When I was young and religious I would do terrible things to insects like throw a fly in a spider's web or cover an ant hill with a plastic bubble and watch them squirm, I never wondered if these poor creatures felt fear. I will confess to being a kid in an abusive environment, so religion isn't the sole reason I did these things. I got older and wiser, I guess. But something has happened within the last few years that has made me change my views on morality and it took a few christians to make me see it.
One guy was my boss, church board of directors member and all the religious bells and whistles that come with it, sometimes I think he carried a bible wherever he went. He was a very nice person and very motivating. He kept his faith and his business seperate except for at moments of personal council, when you needed his help with an issue he was always there to listen...but you knew you were going to hear an awkward prayer afterwards. This man adopted 3 special needs kids and donated a lot of time and money to the people that needed help, it really opened my eyes on what you can do to make a difference.
The other guy is my father-in-law. Apparently he was a real S.O.B. when he was younger, but after life threating surgery he became born-again. The thing that gets me is I have never seen him upset, even when his drug addicted daughter(my wife's sister) stole from his wallet for the third time in as many months, it took a lot out of him to kick her poisonous ass out of the house. He is always there for his neighbors and I can gaurantee if you knocked on his door asking for gas or food he would help you, no matter who you were. This man showed me it's awesome to be a good person, but it's a lot more rewarding to be a great person.
These people are part of the reason I have become a thoughtful, friendly productive member of this society, so if I can give you some good advice it would be:
"Don't turn someone away because of what they believe, give everyone a chance to prove their worth to you."
tl;dr Hi.
