Not coming out, but not hiding it anymore

[Fruity]

cneron wrote:

I live in AZ also, so I sympathize. People ask me what time zone I'm in and I tell them 1958.

I've never entirely understood the need, on principle, for people to "come out." I suppose being open about our differences is healthy, in theory, for ourselves as well as others. Still, sexuality is only part of who are, there's no need to place disproportionate emphasis on it. While there's no rational reason for anybody to be hurt simply by you revealing yourself, people aren't always rational. I can certainly understand not hiding it, though. I don't share my tastes or opinions with people I know couldn't possibly comprehend them, but I don't care if they know. You can't enlighten the determinedly benighted, however honest you are. Since we don't as a rule practice our sexual proclivities on mass transportation, in the work place or the dining area of Whataburger, I don't perceive anyone's sexual behavior (as long as all participants are legally consenting) as any of my business unless I'm in bed with them.

Follow the spirit of your own signature line, "Stop thinking what you think they think you should be thinking. Just think." Best wishes from Prescott.

Nicely put. That's actually what I'm doing, not coming out but just not hiding it. I just want to be honest. Honesty is not going around revealing myself, but just being truthful.

Prescott is beautiful. Much better than Yuma. Yuma is tan. Tan-tan-tan. Just tan sand everywhere. Tan sand and Catholics.

Drag wrote:

I should have posted the video!

Yeah I saw that video before in another thread. lol
I really did enjoy it. It made me laugh out loud

[cneron]

Prescott is beautiful.

Not too beautiful at the moment. Granite Mountain is sort of on fire presently.

[Kayenneh]

*Kay high-fives Ivy*

Welcome to the club honey!

As for the coming out, I say it's so much more important that you are ok with who you are and where you stand in contrast to coming out to other people, because after all it's not their business. Nevertheless, you were very brave! I've never 'come out' as it were, but all people who matter to me knows I'm bi. After all, I'm in a heterosexual relationship with no intention of breaking up and have never dated a girl, but if I had the opportunity and conditions were right I totally would. But yeah, be true to yourself, that's all that matters in the end

[Minimalist]

but then I don't live in your area.

As long as she isn't a Mexican she'll be fine.

[Ryantology]

I'm 28 and I'm a loser because I'm not out yet.

No, you aren't. I didn't come out as bi until I was 29. Well, I suppose that could mean we're both losers, but fuck that.

I've never entirely understood the need, on principle, for people to "come out." I suppose being open about our differences is healthy, in theory, for ourselves as well as others. Still, sexuality is only part of who are, there's no need to place disproportionate emphasis on it.

In an ideal society, you're right. Our society is just now beginning to emerge from institutional homophobia, and there are still plenty of people in our own countries who think that a person's sexual orientation is a fair criteria to deny them equal rights (and for some more extreme, the right to breathe). Coming out is essential for one very important reason: the only way you can ever really hope to cure a homophobe is not with logic, reason, or emotional pleas. When you have homophobic parents or relatives, being in any way openly honest about your sexuality is a legitimate danger, but I know from experience (on both sides of the fence, too) that even the most bitter fagbasher is often willing to open their minds when the gays are no longer strangers easy to demonize.

I want to live in a society where who you fuck doesn't matter, unless they're a kid or don't consent. But, since we don't live in that society yet, we have to help make it, and coming out is one of the best ways.

btw: it's awesome having a wife who is actually open to letting me enjoy my bisexual side in controlled circumstances, though I have yet to take her up on the offer. Contrary to some people's opinions, not being exclusively heterosexual does not automatically make one promiscuous (and as a corollary, my sexual orientation has never made me want to fuck a kid).

[max-greece]

Obviously I do not know your circumstances in terms of your marriage but for me (us) fidelity is the thing. Whether I was bi or not that wouldn't change. If your relationship is more open then I could see it becoming an issue but otherwise.....

In the meantime who you imagine is doing what to you in fantasy (during sex or not) is your own business and something you can choose to share or not. Is your sexual orientation really anyone's business but your own? If you want to make a flag out of it and wave it round for all to see that's fine - its your choice - but it really isn't essential and I can't see why you should feel guilty for choosing not to.

[littleendian]

---

---

ROFL! YOU GO GIRLS!!!

Psychology works

[Savannahw]

I'm also married and Bi. I guess there are a lot of us out there.
I didn't really come out, cause I never kept it a secret. I told the youth group I was in that I thought everyone was bi-sexual to a certain degree. I lost a lot of friends over that. They aren't worth it. I think sexual fluidity is worth reading about.
When it comes to my family, some know and some don't. If they don't need to know, I don't bring it up. They are super religious. I don't want to cause a fight. They don't know about my beliefs either.
But you can do it!

[Rahul]

My wife is married to me and is also bi.

I'm puzzled. I thought there was no such thing as a strictly heterosexual woman.

Only bisexual ones and ones that don't like us guys.

My wife actually has a hardcore crush going on with a younger woman we met last Halloween. I think it's cute.

Just be happy you aren't a man, Ivy. Society is a lot less forgiving of a gay or bi guy than gay or bi women.

Sorry you're going through so much discomfort through this.

[festive1]

That us the nicest and bravest thing I've heard of someone doing in awhile Way to go, Ivy!