The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Seltzerberg's The Starving Games, because the flood of interesting So Bad They're Horrible Films available on Amazon Prime is now just a trickle.

• I don't know what the fuck The Wizard of Oz is doing in Panem, but I suppose that some people are likely to be happy that James Franco got an arrow in the heart.
  
• Who the fuck just bites into bread like that without breaking it first?
  
• You know, the weird thing is that Katniss ended up embracing the same anti-natalist arguments in the book that not-Katniss expresses.
  
• Wow. These kids are wounding themselves so hard that they start looking like bad CGI. 
  
• They're making Not-President Snow look like an even bigger monster than he was in the books and he still looks relatively sane.
  
• Marco does not look like The Aryan Youth Incarnate. Especially weird since Not-Prim looks even more like a refugee from the League of German Girls than usual. 
  
• Eh, I've jacked off to longer toenails than that.
  
• Not since I was still watching Ren and Stimpy have I seen someone try to milk this much pathos from a fart.
  
• Fucking Christ, Seltzerberg's losing the support of mainstream studios has really done a number on their effects budget.
  
• To be fair, it was gratifying to see LMFAO be the first casualties of the Not-Hunger Games, even if that little interlude only lasted for about a second in-universe.
  
• Motherfucker got wedgied so hard he was split in half.
  
• Also, they had a cannonball hit a dude in the balls and replayed it so I could be sure that it probably actually hit him a big higher.
  
• And they've devolved from bad CGI to basic Flash animation.
  
• To be fair, I get the feeling that most viewers would find killing the Annoying Orange cathartic, although  they get points deducted for not flaying it alive and drinking its blood.
  
• I'm not sure if there's any significance to the fact that both Not-President Snow and I are watching this movie on iPads?
  
• You have Not-Katniss up a tree, you're holding ranged weapons, and your response is "she has to come down sooner or later."
  
  
  
• And somehow, Not-Katniss re-enacting the Double Rainbow video is cringier than usual.
  
• And nobody's trying to attack her when she attacks them?
  
• Did she just replay those five kills to get a bit less than an extra minute added to this movie's runtime.
  
• Okay, half the clips in this halftime montage aren't even part of the Games.
  
• I get the feeling that this commercial sums up Seltzerberg's entire approach to filmmaking: a bunch of random things that may or may not be good on their own randomly tossed together in a way that makes it look like utter shit even though they're trying to pretend it's somehow appetizing.
  
  
  Also, there's pork rinds, ham hocks, and chitlins on this burger but no bacon. What kind of fuckery is that?
• And they do everything in their power to convince Not-Katniss and Not-Peeta to bang on camera, and it's apparently all censored by Not-President Snow's mug. And apparently everybody can see past the censor faces but the viewer? But, apparently Not-Gale only sees fit to mention that she kissed him?
  
• I have to admit, getting killed by getting a giant baguette impaled in your eye is an original way to die.
  
• Also, is it just me or did anyone guess that they'd mention the Schwarma scene from The Avengers the second that The Avengers showed up? 
  

And, depending on whether or not it comes in from the library by next week, I'll either watch Stardust (the David Bowie BioShitPic that takes place when he was at his creative height and contains exactly zero Bowie songs due to the Estate refusing to take any part in it), or maybe the two remaining films in the Project on Amazon Prime: Howling: New Moon Rising or Apartment 1303.

[Angrboda]

Infinite.

[Fake Messiah]

Women He's Undressed (2015) - a documentary film about costume designer Orry-Kelly who was also Cary Grant's gay lover, and was actually bullied by Grant.

[Jackalope]

Saw "The Princess Bride" at a drive-in last Friday.

Just wrapped up "The Godfather, Part II"

Now watching Cheech and Chong's "Up In Smoke"

[Silver]

Trick
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt9177040/
Hulu

[Silver]

2067
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1918734/
Hulu

[Silver]

Save Yourselves!
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt7873348/
Hulu

[Silver]

Intersect
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt4205718/
Hulu

[Fake Messiah]

One of my favorite movies of all time: Soldier of Orange (1977).

[Angrboda]

Birds Of Prey.