The Last Movie You Watched

[Silver]

Bloody Hell

A man with a mysterious past flees the country to escape his own personal hell - only to arrive somewhere much, much worse.

[Silver]

Parallel

A group of friends stumble upon a mirror that serves as a portal to a "multiverse", but soon discover that importing knowledge from the other side in order to better their lives brings increasingly dangerous consequences.

[Silver]

Await the Dawn

A troubled family traveling cross country are highjacked by a desperate man. Only to discover he's running from something more dangerous than he is.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

The Hitcher. Sean Bean being psychotic.  

Any movie Sean Bean dies in is a good one.

But does he?

[Silver]

Catherine Called Birdy

A 14 year old girl in medieval England navigates through life and avoiding potential suitors her father has in mind.

[Silver]

Cyrano

Too self-conscious to woo Roxanne himself, wordsmith Cyrano de Bergerac helps young Christian nab her heart through love letters.

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep  Hurting Project: Arachnicide. It's an Italian movie dubbed into English about, well, exactly what you'd expect from the title.

• Okay, I expected a giant spider movie, but instead, we devote the first two minutes to a Sweded version of Gravity for some reason.
  
• Is that seriously the quality of ADR we're dealing with? I've seen a lot of Italian movies dubbed into English, but they usually get someone who's at least passable to voice the actors. Or did Italy just forget how to dub once the market for Spaghetti Westerns dried up?
  
• Um, why the fuck are we getting a lecture on the history of agriculture?
  
• So, apparently Monsanto's made The Food of the Gods?
  
• Is this like one of those North Korean Sitcoms where they just spout out propaganda and put on a laugh track after certain lines, even if the line in question isn't even funny?
  
• Every scene in this movie looks like a cut-scene from a second rate Call of Duty knockoff, but it's still live-action.
  
• Nice to know that they took until half of the movie before they actually set up the giant spiders we were promised.
  
• So, the Cartel's plan to take out the commando team is by getting them eaten by giant spiders? They couldn't just bomb them? 
  
• They're only just now noticing that the spider webs are fucking massive? And that slugs made them?
  
• So the Monsanto calc made the spiders more truthful? Or are you trying to turn "voracious" into a noun and not settling on "Voraciousness?"
  
• So, that's literally all that needed to happen to kill these giant spiders? Wait for them to die of old age? Seriously? 
  
• I can only assume that these are the military spiders that coccooned the Aqua Teens in the Mojave Desert for those few episodes.
  

Next week, Alice in Murderland. And, after that, I guess I'll find some other way to regroup.

[Gwaithmir]

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"The Meg", with Stratham. Big fishy-wishy doesn't play well with others.

Cast gets an extra tour in Purgatory for this one.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

'Relative Strangers'. A regrettable waste of premise and talent (Danny DeVito, Kathy Bates).

Boru