What's everyone up to right now?

[Captain Colostomy]

I am feeling tired, humiliated, hurt, angry, sad, broken, confused, and shocked that I even considered another person's feelings over my own when they never deserved it. Stop saying you will change if you won't. Stop crying if you don't care. Stop following me and calling me. I just want to be alone. I do well alone.

I am tired of this year. I need peace. Why do I keep forgiving? Why don't I love myself more? Why do I keep feeling guilty for taking care of myself? Fuck! I am doing what I would judge as foolish in others. I am angry at myself. I need to snap out of it.

You, uh, you want me to get a couple of the boys together and go mess up his pretty face a little? Cuz for you, doll...fughedaboudit!

[Fruity]

What makes me more miserable is that I can't stand to see someone suffer from a decision I make. I feel evil. I hate this. I feel like I have something heavy laying on my chest and I can hardly breathe. Am I blind to something? Maybe I am too harsh? Maybe I need to be less selfish? But then... Fuck. Maybe I'm not tough enough. Maybe I'm too nice.

How could I be in this situation when from the outside and looking at others it always seemed so simple?

I have not been drinking like before. I can thank a friend that has been an example to me. He has proved to resist the want for certain things... And if he can do it, I can be sober more. I drink less. Also not as frequently. I'm happy about that. It was my escape, though. Now all I have is... well, sleep.

Now if you excuse me, I will go try and do just that. Sleep.

[Cyberman]

Listen to Kichi, librarian lady; anyone with Granny Weatherwax as an avatar is well worth taking seriously. I'm a fine one to talk, but do whatever it takes for you to get to the same place you want me to reach. So basically listen to Ivy more than anything, she knows what she's talking about.

I myself have just returned from doing my St George bit. Cutting a very long story short, my friend Shell went to Coventry for the last stage of a singing contest (she didn't win, sadly, but at least she managed to get to the final, an achievement in itself). Anyway, it didn't end until well after midnight and one of the organisers dropped her off at the train station. Unfortunately, the last train had already left and a taxi was quoted as being something like sixty-five quid. So basically she was left wandering a dark station carrying a bottle of cheap champagne that she'd won; I bet that'll end up on the CCTV xmas tape. So after everyone else let her down, she rang me for help although neither of us drive, except each other up the wall sometimes.

I couldn't leave her stranded so far from home. The only option was to wake my Dad and appeal to him to go out and fetch her. Luckily I was, indeed am, visiting my parents anyway. I hated to wake him as he was well away, but I had no choice and luckily he agreed. We set up his satnav for the journey, none of us had been to Coventry before so nobody knew the way. My Mum came with us as she doesn't like to be on her own and we set off, pausing only to fill up with petrol. It tastes terrible but it's cheaper than alcohol - there may be a lie in there somewhere.

Anyway, we got onto the M6 and followed the annoying lady giving us directions. I have a satnav app on my phone which is amazingly useful, so I was following our route as we went along. I suddenly realised we were going the wrong way, in fact we appeared to have got turned right around and heading back home despite following the directions. We got back onto the motorway and tried again, and we found that the exit we needed to use was completely blocked off and that's what was turning us back. So I programmed an alternate route into my phone, since the dash-mounted nav seems obsessed with motorways, and we rode that the whole way, me acting as navigator and calling out directions.

Eventually, we got there and a very tired but grateful Shell stepped inside. After reprogramming the nav to take us to her house, we set off again. There was a slight detour to a 24-hour McDonald's near to her home as she hadn't eaten all day, and that's when we learned their interesting redefinition of 'drive-thru'. Honestly, that was the longest part of the whole adventure, sitting there waiting for food to come out. My Dad intends to put it on his Facebook wall, that we went to a drive-thru and got a parking ticket (not strictly true, but the point is made).

One delivery of a Shell to her door later, time for a quick hug and plans to catch up in the week and then home again. I bet none of us get out of bed this side of midday.

[KichigaiNeko]

What makes me more miserable is that I can't stand to see someone suffer from a decision I make.

How are they suffering? What a great way to blackmail you.

I feel evil. I hate this. I feel like I have something heavy laying on my chest and I can hardly breathe.

We all have a dark side, are you saying you are evil because you are not going to be someone's toilet paper so they can continuously wipe their arse with you?

Am I blind to something? Maybe I am too harsh? Maybe I need to be less selfish? But then... Fuck. Maybe I'm not tough enough. Maybe I'm too nice.

Welcome to womanhood.
Are you blind? perhaps to your own needs then yes

Are you too harsh? perhaps but then diplomacy was something I never learnt until later in life. Never did have the talent of telling people they are going to hell in such a way that they looked forward to the trip...Zen is much better than me at this.

Perhaps you aren't "tough enough" whatever that means; perhaps you ARE too nice. These are questions that will take you a lifetime to answer.

How could I be in this situation when from the outside and looking at others it always seemed so simple?

Simple? Living? only to the religious, or slaves or fools.

No my dear, life is NOT simple and you have been conned to think it is so. What you are experiencing is First Sight...seeing things for what they REALLY are and having Second Thoughts...questioning yourself and your assumptions.

This is healthy.

I have not been drinking like before. I can thank a friend that has been an example to me. He has proved to resist the want for certain things... And if he can do it, I can be sober more. I drink less. Also not as frequently. I'm happy about that. It was my escape, though. Now all I have is... well, sleep.

Now if you excuse me, I will go try and do just that. Sleep.

Sleep well darlin'

You drink to reduce the pain of what you are going through. Get rid of the pain and the excessive drinking will stop. Sounds like you are on your way anyhow. Kudos to your friend.

[The Reality Salesman01]

Hangin' out with my boys!

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[Captain Colostomy]

Did your son fish him a keeper from a port-O-shitter? Why is his hand green?


I'm currently effing with insomnia, or vicey-versy. Seriously entertaining a 9AM beer run. Like Daffy, I'm feeling foul. Blech.

[The Reality Salesman01]

Lol...He colored his fingers with markers. He says it's a Hulk hand. We've been playing Super Nintendo and drawing pictures this morning.

[Captain Colostomy]

Lol...He colored his fingers with markers. He says it's a Hulk hand. We've been playing Super Nintendo and drawing pictures this morning.

I tried something similar, but lower down, with a black magic marker once. Before tasering me, a woman on the street muttered I wasn't fooling anybody.

Shoulda duct taped on a turtleneck...

[The Reality Salesman01]

LMFAO

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Hulk SMASH Panties!!!!

[Angrboda]

Say this line putting the emphasis on the bolded word for each one.

You want me to do that?

You want me to do that?

You want me to do that?

You want me to do that?

You want me to do that?

Changes quite a bit the meaning of the sentence.

I was at day treatment one day, waiting in the lobby, and everybody was discussing the new Heath Ledger movie, "The Dark Knight." One of the people mentioned that she had read a review that said that Ledger was outdoing Nicholson. Not being up on current events, I had to ask a few questions to ascertain what they meant by this comment, which surprised those present for what we termed "Dance Fridays" at the day treatment office. I pointed out, admittedly tongue-in-cheek, that one way of parsing that sentence is: Heath Ledger is out "doing" Nicholson.