Morality as a Language

[FlyingNarwhal]

Or if a parent peacefully negotiates with a child, that child will inevitably pick up and become proficient in non violent communication

Oh, I couldn't disagree more. I know of children that were never spanked or slapped or even threatened with some kind of physical punishment. These kids grew up to be perfect assholes because they were taught: I can say and do anything I want and no one can hurt me.

I've been waiting to hear how any one of them got their heads beat in for being such morons.

I'll second this.

[bennyboy]

It's better to teach children the concept of justice than the concept of peace. I think it's depressing for a child to know that no matter what he does, he will be praised and rewarded. It's when he's punished for displeasing his parents, and rewarded for pleasing them, that he learns real power-- the power to vary his life experience by varying his behaviors. He learns what it means to be part of a society.

The point that Koolay doesn't get is that EVERYONE, no matter who, eventually learns about pain. Is it better to learn about it from a spanking, or from eventually sticking a knife into an electrical socket because you haven't been taught to fear them? Is it better to learn about it from watching every possible mate leave 20-year-old you, one by one, because you are a self-indulgent asshole, or because your parents scorn and scold you when 5-year-old you are direspectful to others?

I think the earlier important lessons are learned, the more suffering overall will be reduced. And if a child cannot comprehend the most important lessons, good old fear or pain may have to substitute for a while until that ability to comprehend is developing.