Am I GOD

[themonkeyman]

Hey Folks,

What is with all the Skepticism. @Drich - I have no father and mother only only God who is in a place I call heaven or paradise.

To you and I its basically a fiery inferno.

@pocaracas - I would bring my friend back from the dead but why the hell would I - Hes burning in a lake of sulphur because he didn't believe that I wasent a Crackpot.

@Ryantology - Don't worry you will goto my Ghetto because you don't believe in me. Its just those people who claim to be Christians I have a problem with.

@Drich - I sent Jesus as a escape goat to see if you were all following my Holy Book. You worshiped him and made him God so you all failed - fuckin Christians.

Since I am all loving I will give you the once chance to come to me freely.... Otherwise you will suffer in a lake of sulphur - don't worry I still love you even if you are in the lake too.

[pocaracas]

@pocaracas - I would bring my friend back from the dead but why the hell would I - Hes burning in a lake of sulphur because he didn't believe that I wasent a Crackpot.

A god who can't spell properly?
A god who sends people to some lake of Sulfur, just because people disagree with him?

Sounds like a god people would invent... Are you sure you're not the figment of someone's imagination?

[max-greece]

3 Reasons you are not God.

1. You are almost literate. God never writes anything himself.
2. Unless I am much mistaken you are neither in nor from the middle East.
3. You are offering a first person account. God never does this, second at best and usually third or fourth.

[pocaracas]

3. You are offering a first person account. God never does this, second at best and usually third or fourth.

There were the stone tablets... I mean, no way would Moses have carved them in 40 days, am I right?!

[themonkeyman]

@pocaracas - I would bring my friend back from the dead but why the hell would I - Hes burning in a lake of sulphur because he didn't believe that I wasent a Crackpot.

A god who can't spell properly?
A god who sends people to some lake of Sulfur, just because people disagree with him?

Sounds like a god people would invent... Are you sure you're not the figment of someone's imagination?

Excuse Me!, I am God Almighty the Savior of Mankind I can spell things how I like. And also @pocaracas whatever way I spell is correct because I am God and you must accept it.

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3 Reasons you are not God.

1. You are almost literate. God never writes anything himself.
2. Unless I am much mistaken you are neither in nor from the middle East.
3. You are offering a first person account. God never does this, second at best and usually third or fourth.

No but I promise you that I can wither a fig tree, I am also some day going to ride into Jerusalem on a Colt.

Also I can give you 3rd or Fourth Hand accounts if you want and it would make you believe me.

I really have a question for all those so called followers of this Jesus man! Why are you not bowing down to worship me?! What did he have that I did not have?.

You Christians - You twisted the words of my book to make Jesus your God when I am God right now and you fail to believe me. You will be sorry!

[pocaracas]

Well then, would you be willing to participate in a little experiment?
It's really simple for you.
Convert my laptop into a state of the art one, in terms of processor, RAM, screen, a new SDD with double the capacity of my current HDD... just keep the outer shell and keyboard.
Please, do it within the next 5 hours... I should think that's more than enough time for you.

[themonkeyman]

Ahem,

Have you not read what I have spoken in my Holy Book

You shall not put the LORD your God to the test, as you tested Him at Massah. - Deut 6:16

That means that YOU shall NOT test ME! Why should I give ye lowly heathen anything?!

You could have asked for me to cure the world of the sick and poor perhaps?!

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

*shrug* It isn't up to us to prove a negative claim. Pop out a wee miracle or two, and we'll go from there.

Boru

[themonkeyman]

Hi @BrianSoddingBoru4

Did you not notice the Miracles I have provided for you/your-family. Have I not kept a roof over your head, Have I not make sure you have had a good wife/brother/sister/father (Delete were appropriate).

Have I not comforted you when you were sad and depressed at some point previously.

Those are my Miracles - When you only see one set of foot prints in the sand - It is then I was non existant *cough* I mean carried you!

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@BrianSoddingBoru4,

Ask of me of any Miracle and I will give it to you. But remember it must

1) Be Sincere
2) Something that I want
3) Something that is non Urgent

And you must

1) Be Patient
2) Stop believing in Coincidences and believe as Miracles
3) Work for what you want with all your soul might and strength

And then I will give you it :-)

[pocaracas]

Ahem,

Have you not read what I have spoken in my Holy Book

You shall not put the LORD your God to the test, as you tested Him at Massah. - Deut 6:16

That means that YOU shall NOT test ME! Why should I give ye lowly heathen anything?!

You could have asked for me to cure the world of the sick and poor perhaps?!

Ah.. .the laptop's right in front of me... those sick and poor aren't.
How could I have checked the accuracy of your powers, then?