Conservatives Rewriting the Bible to be more Right-Wing

[MindForgedManacle]

I shit you not:

Don’t know Aramaic, Hebrew or ancient Greek? Not a problem. What they are looking for is not exactly egghead scholarship, but a knack for using words they've read in the Wall Street Journal. They have a list of promising candidates on their website— words like capitalism, work ethic, death penalty, anticompetitive, elitism, productivity, privatize, pro-life—all of which are conspicuously missing from those socialist-inspired Bibles we’ve been reading lately.

In the several years since their translation project was inaugurated, all of the New Testament and several books of the Old have been thoroughly revised. But lots still remains to be done. If you've got a soft spot for Leviticus, the Book of Amos, Lamentations or Numbers, they are all still available for rewrite, so get cracking!

To give a sense of how to go about your own retranslation, here are some examples of changes the editors have already made.

Take that story where the mob surrounds a woman accused of adultery and gets ready to stone her, but Jesus intervenes and says, “He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone" (John 7:53-8:11). It might have been a later addition that wasn’t in the original Gospels, according to some right-thinking, or rather right-leaning scholars. So the editors have excised this bleeding-heart favorite from the Good Book, and they've also removed Jesus’ words on the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

“The simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing,” Schlafly points out, proving that, “Jesus might never had said it at all.”

Another thing Jesus might never have said at all is, “Blessed are the meek.” Change that one to, “Blessed are the God-fearing,” the translation’s editors advise, which is far less touchy-feely than the King James version.

Where Jesus teaches that, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:24) our mentors at Conservapedia recommend that we scratch the word “rich” and replace it with either "fully fed and entertained" or, if you prefer, "idle miser," which have none of the Occupy Wall Street-ish sour grapes of the better-known translation.

When Jesus greets his disciples with the blessing, “Peace be with you” (John 20, 26), the editors cleverly change the wording to, "Peace of mind be with you," so that nobody gets the wrong idea and thinks Jesus was some kind of lilly-livered pacifist.

Likewise where Jesus says, “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but to save it” (John 3, 17), they change “world” to “mankind,” so it is clear the Christian savior is not advocating environmentalism here. Hey, you can’t be too careful!

Finally, when Jesus admonishes hypocrites to, “Cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye,” the conservative Bible replaces the word “hypocrite” with "deceiver," since hypocrite is often “misused politically against Christians.” Good point!

Source: http://www.alternet.org/belief/right-win...ive-enough

As always (assuming this is legit; I've never been able to tell if Conservapedia was serious,or a massive atheist troll), the far-right conservatives in this country continue their insanity with shifting everything in this country to the right, and always more so...

[StoryBook]

Seems legit, everything has to be worded just right so people can get brainwashed.This is not the first time words get changed or mistranslated. After all Mary was originally written as a "maiden" not as a "virgin".

[Minimalist]

The bible is a piece of human written and re-written shit. Why shouldn't these asswipes get a crack at making it say what they want it to say? In the end it remains a pile of shit.


P.S. Schafly is right about that john story. It was a much later addition.
Only the dumbest of fundies don't know that.

[Blake the Heretic]

Conservatives don't care much about truth. They're either deceitful people trying to rid everyone off, or they are mindless sheep being herded right where the deceivers want them to go.

[Crossless2.0]

This could be fun, and the possibilities are endless. Milton Friedman could baptize Jesus. Ayn Rand could be substituted for Mary Magdalene (after Jesus drives the spirits from her and returns her to her right reason, Ayn utters the first of her many remarkable prophesies concerning Jesus' identity: "A is A."). Hell, since many of the characters in the Bible are likely fictional anyway, there's no reason we can't slip in Howard Roark as one the disciples (when Jesus speaks of raising up the Temple in three days, Howard supplies the blueprints but will only agree to work on the project if he retains complete creative control).

[Ryantology]

[Jacob(smooth)]

God created man in his own image.
Man returns the favor.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Seems legit, everything has to be worded just right so people can get brainwashed.This is not the first time words get changed or mistranslated. After all Mary was originally written as a "maiden" not as a "virgin".

'Maiden' and 'virgin' mean precisely the same thing. You're thinking of the word 'almah' which means 'young woman'.

That aside, re-writing the Bible to make it more conservative seems a bit of gilding the lily. Rather like re-writing 'MacBeth' to give it more of a Scottish flavor.

Boru

[Blake the Heretic]

This could be fun, and the possibilities are endless. Milton Friedman could baptize Jesus. Ayn Rand could be substituted for Mary Magdalene (after Jesus drives the spirits from her and returns her to her right reason, Ayn utters the first of her many remarkable prophesies concerning Jesus' identity: "A is A."). Hell, since many of the characters in the Bible are likely fictional anyway, there's no reason we can't slip in Howard Roark as one the disciples (when Jesus speaks of raising up the Temple in three days, Howard supplies the blueprints but will only agree to work on the project if he retains complete creative control).

I could get down on reading that bible. lol

[Zen Badger]

This is why it's so hard to parody these people.

They do it to themselves.