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December 28, 2013 at 10:45 pm (This post was last modified: December 28, 2013 at 10:51 pm by BrokenQuill92.)
We all know by now to stay away from the Twilight series. But are there any other books or book series that need to come with warning labels?
Another series we've all figured out to stay away from by now is the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series
The author has some very scary views on sex religion and relationships.
WARNING: By the time you read this for the fourth time, you will still have no idea what's going on, who these people are, or why you should give a fuck about them.
Left Behind (and all its sequels) by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.
WARNING: Read this only as a guide about what not to do as a writer. If you seriously believe something like the events of this book will be happening soon, please seek mental help.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
December 29, 2013 at 2:30 pm (This post was last modified: December 29, 2013 at 5:34 pm by Kayenneh.)
Fifty shades of grey. It sucks. There's no character development, no storyline, reused and clumsy dialogue, boring sex scenes with barely a hint of BDSM and it's grotesquely written.
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
December 29, 2013 at 5:53 pm (This post was last modified: December 29, 2013 at 6:05 pm by Rev. Rye.)
(December 29, 2013 at 2:30 pm)Kayenneh Wrote: Fifty shades of grey. It sucks. There's no character development, no storyline, reused and clumsy dialogue, boring sex scenes with barely a hint of BDSM and it's written grotesquely.
Dude, I've read an erotic novel that's far worse. It's called Naruto Veangance Revelaitons. Let me explain all the ways it's horrible, and, be forewarned, this is horrifying, almost like the author was attempting to One-up both the Marquis de Sade and the director of A Serbian Film. Consider this an across-the-board trigger warning.
No Character Development: The character development is virtually nonexistent; the male lead (Ronan) exists primarily to fuck and abuse women, and rant about modern music, feminism, and religion, and his harem exists primarily to be sexually attracted to him. His enemies exist only to promote things he hates, particularly things that are diometrically opposed.
No sane story: The story goes from his battling villains from Naruto to his being a rock star to his ruling Konohagakure according to his whims to his battling the Illuminati to destroying the world with his jism.
Horrible writing and spelling. The book is exactly 23 words shorter than the first Harry Potter book, and the number of sentences without a massive spelling error is in the double digits. Indeed, it's fewer than the number of chapters or sex scenes.
Bigotry: Here is a short list of groups the author (and thus, the main character) hates: Fans of Harry Potter, Western Animation, and modern music; religious people (especially Christians); women who aren't totally submissive; gay males (he publicly disembowels a guy for admiring his penis); fat people; capitalists; the mentally ill; his stepfamily; and... Croats. The list goes on and on.
Horrifying sex scenes: One of the most infamous sex scenes has Ronan forcing his girlfriend Sakura to mutilate her vagina as punishment for adultery. After she does that, he immediately fucks the wound, causing it to grow back. Also, at one point, she fucks her newborn daughter with a katana.
Bizarre biology: I'll let this excerpt from Chapter 1 explain it. It's how the main character describes himself.
Quote:i a 13 years old and have just come to the town. i am 6" tall and hav dark blue hair dat looks like justin beibers hiar (i dont liek him tho FUCK HIM HE SUCKS ALL MODERN MUSIC FUCKING SUCKS). i am very muscula r and have 28' around biceps and hiuge pecx and then i also have a huge dick its almost 2 fet long and realy fat plus i cum a lot ok).
Yes, he not only claims his penis is several times longer than he is tall, but the penis only gets bigger, up until halfway through the story, where it reaches 45 feet in length. I have concluded he's meant to be an escapee from the Island of Doctor Moreau. Also, his newborn daughter grows to be the exact same age as her parents within a day of being born.
Deeply disturbing fetishes: Here's just a few: Showers golden, brown, and Roman; incest (he includes his mother, his daughter and the Naruto character who is genetically identical to both of them); he's turned on by the sight of women's blood; pedophilia (to be fair, the girl in question does grow into a mature body within the space of less than a day, but still); getting a BJ from a ghost's severed head; rape; and, of course, destroying the world with one's own Jism.
Need I go on?
It used to be on Fanfiction.net, but it got deleted, and I've uploaded it to Filedropper. I'd post the link here, but, quite frankly, the content is so extreme that I fear for my good standing on this site if I post it. Maybe it'll be alright if you PM me. Of course, if you really want some independent evidence, there's a girl named GubGub434 who's uploaded her reading of every chapter to Youtube. I myself have put every chapter with my annotations on Deviantart. Just log in, turn off the parental lock and look for Rickersnary.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
December 29, 2013 at 6:03 pm (This post was last modified: December 29, 2013 at 6:05 pm by Kayenneh.)
I just have to ask though, Rev, does the guy get any money for his crap? Is his novel printed? Is it called (by some dimwits) to be sassy, fresh and a good read? No? That is why FSoG pisses me off so much. Yes, you can find whatever obscure fanfic, if you only dig deep enough (rule 34, dude!), but that this steaming pile of horsehockey was even considered by a publisher is just beyond me. I regret that I ever read the "series". (I put it in quotation marks, since the three books don't have enough content between them to make even one decent book).
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
Chick Tracts? They're more comics than books, but unless you're reading it to get a laugh out of it, I'd say avoid it.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."
(December 29, 2013 at 6:03 pm)Kayenneh Wrote: I just have to ask though, Rev, does the guy get any money for his crap? Is his novel printed? Is it called (by some dimwits) to be sassy, fresh and a good read? No? That is why FSoG pisses me off so much. Yes, you can find whatever obscure fanfic, if you only dig deep enough (rule 34, dude!), but that this steaming pile of horsehockey was even considered by a publisher is just beyond me. I regret that I ever read the "series". (I put it in quotation marks, since the three books don't have enough content between them to make even one decent book).
It's not printed. I know that some may quibble at my use of the word "novel" to descibe the book, but, I really do think it fits: the OED defines the novel as: "a fictitious prose narrative of book length" It's fictitious, it's prose (even the song lyrics), there's some semblance of narrative, and, like I said, it's almost as long as the first Harry Potter book, so, by the standards of the Oxford English Dictionary, it is, technically, a novel.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.