ever think that parents kinda have it rough??

[leodeo]

I don't have kids but from what I've seen in life parenting is a tough thing to do with its own rewards, the thing I feel like is that its very under appreciated by society.

ie: society never really teaches you how to be a good parent, you kinda gotta learn from experience, yet they are the first ones to blame and judge you when something goes wrong with your kids and call you a 'bad parent' or 'unfit to have children'.

I don't think anyone who genuinely loves their kids and is willing to do anything for their welfare is a bad parent, though its sad how a lot get punished -

ie: i got a friend who is a engineer, very well educated, never did a crime in his life - he was very sick one day and was unable to even get out of bed (his wife was at the store), and his toddler got in his car and rolled all the way to the main street and caused an accident - social services ended up taking the kid away to foster care - yeah makes perfect sense, because he was such a bad parent that the kid would be much better off in foster care.? (and he got criminal charges of "child endangerment")

also i remember in middle school there was a family from france and their kid was in my school and he was picked on/beat up and bullied a lot, one day he said he would blow up the school - his whole family ended up getting deported out of the US for that comment. (this was years before 9/11)

Stories like those really make cry. But i guess in the end you just gotta do your best and hope for the best?

[arewethereyet]

For those of us with little experience with babies and toddlers that first child is a lesson in terror. At least it was for me. I was constantly checking my oldest just to make sure she was still breathing. Parenting books are great but you simply cannot learn about every possible thing that can happen. Too many things are learned along the way; you muddle through and hope that you are doing a good job...oldest kids are like experiments. With each of the other two there was more and more that I was prepared for but still not everything. From sickness, to injuries, to school issues and neighborhood kid disagreements...you just keep learning more and more.

Mine are all grown and went through their periods of thinking I was a complete dolt as a parent. Now two of them have their own kid(s) to tend to. I see them go through the same things, make the same mistakes, and find out as time goes on that perhaps it wasn't being a dolt but it was being thrown curveballs that had to be managed as well as possible. A lot is learned in hindsight.

I have to admit to some stifled and not so stifled laughter on my part when my daughters get a great big helping of parenthood!

As for your friend, I can see several things that could/should have been done to avoid that accident. House doors locked, car doors locked, child not left alone with someone unable to care for them....there but for the grace of Zeus went I.

[BrokenQuill92]

This is why I stick to babysitting so I can leave

[Jackalope]

For those of us with little experience with babies and toddlers that first child is a lesson in terror.

Ain't that the truth. This exchange between my ex and myself will probably speak to anyone who's been in that position.

Her (frantically shaking me awake): "You rolled over our son!!!!!!111!!!"
Me: "I didn't."
Her: "Yes, yes you did!!!!!111!!!!" (becoming more and more frantic)
Me: "It's OK. He's fine."
Her: "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT??!!?!?! WHERE IS HE?!?!?!"
Me: "He's in his crib."

(To be perfectly fair, I had my share of freakout moments as well.)

[c172]

I don't like small kids to begin with. Plus, I'm already familied out with the 'rents living "21 minutes up the road". I don't need, therefore, to create my own family.

I'm a bit mixed. I do look up to parents, husbands, and wives who stick with it and really, really embrace those roles. But, both parenting and marriage seems to be suffering nowadays. My generation is way different than the one that my grandparents, married 60 years, with 5 children (one deceased), were raised in. And it's kind of sad in a way. We sort of lost track of what family is.

[Lek]

I'm a bit mixed. I do look up to parents, husbands, and wives who stick with it and really, really embrace those roles. But, both parenting and marriage seems to be suffering nowadays. My generation is way different than the one that my grandparents, married 60 years, with 5 children (one deceased), were raised in. And it's kind of sad in a way. We sort of lost track of what family is.

I'm in total agreement with you. We can change things though, by making the decision that the family that we form will be that way.

[AtheistUnicorn]

People are also becoming more aware in some cases of the family aspect not being as prevalent as it once so are making bigger efforts to keep together which is nice to see! Society needs a strong family structure in my opinion.

[NoraBrimstone]

If people want to ruin their lives with kids they can't handle, I have no sympathy for them. My sympathy is for the poor little kids who wouldn't have existed in the first place if their stupid parents had an ounce of common sense.