The Thread of Never Ending Religious Propaganda

[Bob Kelso]

This thread can be dedicated to hilariously bad, or offensive religious Facebook posts, emails, youtube videos or what not.

For instance, this keeps popping up on my feed;



*MUST READ*

A pastor was traveling last week, he saw
an old man, and gave him a lift. While they
were going, the old man said; my son, do
you know what happened in Heaven last
night?

The pastor was so terrified and hurriedly
parked and asked; Sir, are you sleeping?
How did you get the information about
Heaven?
The Old man said; last night in Heaven God
became very angry with man and asked
the Angels to blow the trumpet. The
angels picked up the trumpets and as they
were about to blow it WHEN, Jesus fell
down and began to plead in tears. The
blood that came out of His hands and body
were very fresh. He told God that His
death shouldn't be in vain.

God couldn't stand the pains of the saint
and the wickedness of the evil ones. So He
said; "I AM GIVING THEM THEIR LAST
CHANCE."

Jesus then turned to the angels and told
them to move down in their numerous
numbers to tell the world that:
"THE END IS NEAR, JESUS IS COMING VERY
SOON".

The pastor (sweating and crying) asked; sir,
how did you know this?
The OLD MAN replied; I am one of the
Angels sent
to the World.
Please use every medium of
communication to send this message.
No time to waste, Please! And the old man
disappeared.

Brethren, this story is real, Christ is coming
Soon.
PLEASE SAVE A SOUL TODAY.
I Have done my part, it's now your turn to
spread the Gospel.
No wealth can be compared to life
everlasting in Heaven.
If you are Ready to share this Message,
LIKE and write: "AMEN"
May God bless you all. AND DO NOT
FORGET TO SHARE THIS POST

HELP SAVE THE WORLD.

Now aside from the fact that it's poorly written, it makes no sense within the Christian faith.

-Why would an omniscient being be angry? He bloody well knew what was going to happen.

-There's no crying or pain in heaven, so no weeping or blood. (Rev. 21:4)

-Jesus spoke about his death being "in vain" but his sacrifice was supposed to serve as the bridge for people to come to god, not really sure why 2000+ years of an open door would be considered a waste.

-No one knows the hour of Christ's return, granted it just said "soon" but still. (Mark 24:36)

It's all bullshit, but one could at least expect fear mongering stories to remain constant with said bullshit.

Anyway, feel free to comment on this ridiculous story or share one of your own for discussion.

[Cinjin]

*MUST READ*

A pastor was traveling last week, he saw
an old man, and gave him a lift. While they
were going, the old man said; my son, do
you know what happened in Heaven last
night?

The pastor was so terrified and hurriedly
parked and asked; Sir, are you sleeping?
How did you get the information about
Heaven?
The Old man said; last night in Heaven God
became very angry with man and asked
the Angels to blow the trumpet. The
angels picked up the trumpets and as they
were about to blow it WHEN, Jesus fell
down and began to plead in tears. The
blood that came out of His hands and body
were very fresh. He told God that His
death shouldn't be in vain.

God couldn't stand the pains of the saint
and the wickedness of the evil ones. So He
said; "I AM GIVING THEM THEIR LAST
CHANCE."

Jesus then turned to the angels and told
them to move down in their numerous
numbers to tell the world that:
"THE END IS NEAR, JESUS IS COMING VERY
SOON".

The pastor (sweating and crying) asked; sir,
how did you know this?
The OLD MAN replied; I am one of the
Angels sent
to the World.
Please use every medium of
communication to send this message.
No time to waste, Please! And the old man
disappeared.

Brethren, this story is real, Christ is coming
Soon.
PLEASE SAVE A SOUL TODAY.
I Have done my part, it's now your turn to
spread the Gospel.
No wealth can be compared to life
everlasting in Heaven.
If you are Ready to share this Message,
LIKE and write: "AMEN"
May God bless you all. AND DO NOT
FORGET TO SHARE THIS POST

HELP SAVE THE WORLD.

The pastor in this retarded story is bit of a nervous-nelly and a total over-reactionary tool. I think if I was one of his parishioners I'd be reconsidering his employment. WTF kind of pastor assumes an old geezer isn't just a senile old geezer talking out of his ass, and even if the old guy is telling the truth, what kind of pastor gets that terrified by news of his sky daddy coming to take him to heaven?

It's almost as if these gullible christards are are so stupid they can't even write a believable fictional story.

[Chad32]

Not to mention if god is omnipresent, he shouldn't need anyone to go anywhere. He's standing right there. He's right beside you now. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be omnipresent. That's the biggest problem with the idea of a deity that's so powerful. You have to try to make up reasons for him not doing things that a benevolent person would do, and still have him being all lovable, just, and merciful. I know there's the whole free will argument, but even that doesn't make sense. Supposedly if people knew he exists and could see or hear him, they'd have no choice but to worship him, yet the bible claims that somehow we all know he exists anyway, and yet have no inclination to worship him. Not unless someone else comes along and convinces you to.

Just the idea that you need to spread the word of an omnipresent deity is weird. It can't be that hard for someone who knows you to talk to you. My parents do it all the time!

[Bob Kelso]

The pastor in this retarded story is bit of a nervous-nelly and a total over-reactionary tool. I think if I was one of his parishioners I'd be reconsidering his employment. WTF kind of pastor assumes an old geezer isn't just a senile old geezer talking out of his ass, and even if the old guy is telling the truth, what kind of pastor gets that terrified by news of his sky daddy coming to take him to heaven.

It's almost as if these gullible christards are are so stupid they can't even write a believable fictional story.

Yeah this is in my top ten of worst stories ever told.

I found it odd as well that the writer didn't take this in the direction of a "glorious, wrathful return".

[Chad32]

I actually kind of like the idea of Jesus suffering in heaven. It would make his sacrifice an actual sacrifice, you know? Not that I like the idea of an innocent person bearing the sins of the guilty, since that's far from being what justice is about, but this idea of a sacrifice going on seems to be abstract at best. Sin is not a physical thing. The most it could do is mentally traumatise someone, so is Jesus just a crazed lunatic now? Like a shellshocked veteran suffering from PTSD, cranked up to 11,000? If so, I'm not sure how he could rule over anything, as it says he does.

[Bob Kelso]

I actually kind of like the idea of Jesus suffering in heaven. It would make his sacrifice an actual sacrifice, you know? Not that I like the idea of an innocent person bearing the sins of the guilty, since that's far from being what justice is about, but this idea of a sacrifice going on seems to be abstract at best. Sin is not a physical thing. The most it could do is mentally traumatise someone, so is Jesus just a crazed lunatic now? Like a shellshocked veteran suffering from PTSD, cranked up to 11,000? If so, I'm not sure how he could rule over anything, as it says he does.

The whole 'sacrifice' bit is a crock from the get-go though; sacrificing an immortal is like cutting your hair. That shit grows back.

[Chad32]

I actually kind of like the idea of Jesus suffering in heaven. It would make his sacrifice an actual sacrifice, you know? Not that I like the idea of an innocent person bearing the sins of the guilty, since that's far from being what justice is about, but this idea of a sacrifice going on seems to be abstract at best. Sin is not a physical thing. The most it could do is mentally traumatise someone, so is Jesus just a crazed lunatic now? Like a shellshocked veteran suffering from PTSD, cranked up to 11,000? If so, I'm not sure how he could rule over anything, as it says he does.

The whole 'sacrifice' bit is a crock from the get-go though; sacrificing an immortal is like cutting your hair. That shit grows back.

I know, right? How does an omnipotent being sacrifice anything? How is he weaker now than he was before? It's like if I cut my finger off, then had it sewn back together, and expected people to respect my "sacrifice". I mean, what good person wouldn't take the offer of saving people and ruling the world in exchange for being tortured for a week? Although the person who claims to want to save you is the one who put you in that position in the first place. Most of these stories just fall apart if you think about them too much. That's why many just say they're metaphors, because there really isn't any other way to explain them.

Be nice to people. That's a part of Jesus' teachings that pretty much anyone can agree on. No religion required. It's really damned hard, with so many people eagerly taking advantage of someone's generosity, but it's something any good parent will teach their children regardless of beliefs.

[AT7iLA]

These types of things are what makes Christianity look so stupid... True Christians know that in the last days, angels will not even touch the ground. Some of these Christians make up stories and claim it's biblical... smh.

[heathendegenerate]

I'll never understand all of the horrendous shit in the old testament being embraced by christians. Rip out their babies! blah blah..

Then that's free will being frowned upon.. then 10 minutes later there's a plan. I hate christianity. Why is he so angry? Is he, too, scripted? wtf

[Jacob(smooth)]

them to move down in their numerous
numbers

What, like all the numerous numbers?