RE: Ever meet a Catholic who was faithful to their duties?
March 19, 2014 at 9:39 pm
(This post was last modified: March 19, 2014 at 9:57 pm by Phatt Matt s.)
Does anyone else feel this way:
about certain anonymous members of the forum
Know what a Catholic Priest and Christmas tree have in Common?
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Maria went home from Catholic school happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
You know what you call a Nun with Dementia who wanders aimlessly? A Roamin Catholic
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar and he orders himself a drink
A priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant minister walk into a bar.
The barman says, "What is this? A joke?"
A man goes to Reconciliation on a D.C. church. "Bless me father, for I have sinned", he said, "I killed a congressman."
"Young man", the priest replied, "I am here to hear your sins, not to hear you brag about your community service."
The great Buddha walked up to a hot dog vendor, handed him a 20 dollar bill and said, "make me one with everything"...
Buddha: Wheres my change?
The hot dog vendor replied, "Change must come from within"
A child went to sunday School and heard about how Eve was made from Adams rib. He came home very worried. His Mother asked, "what's wrong?"
He replied "my side hurts, i think Im having a wife".
(ever seen that commercial "what would you do for a klondike bar?")
So if Eve were willing to curse all of her children and descendents over an apple...what would she do for a klondike bar?
A nun asked her students "why is it important to be quiet during mass?"
the Children responded, "because people are sleeping".
A nun asked her children what they wanted to be when they grow up.
Suzy: I want to be a prostitute?
Nun: A what?
Suzy: A prostitute
Nun: Oh thank God! I thought you said I want to be a Protestant.
A nurse said "I've been so blessed, my husband is an angel"! Her supervisor responded, "you are fortunate, my husband is still alive".
In sunday school a child heard the famous tale that George Washington never told a lie. The teacher than read the Scripture "Liars will not enter the kingdom of Heaven". He went home and Asked His Dad, "Did you, Mom, grandma, Grandpa tell lies". His Dad replied, "Yes but only when the truth hurt." The boy responded, "Heaven must be a lonely place with only God and George Washington!"
A priest said, "boy every time you swear it sends a cold Chill down my spine".
Boy: "well if you'd been nearby yesterday when Dad cut his finger on the sawblade you'd have frozen to death!"
A Catholic boy and a protestant boy are talking. The Catholic says "My priest knows more than your minister". The protestant boy replies "Of course he does, you Catholics tell him everything!".
about certain anonymous members of the forum
Know what a Catholic Priest and Christmas tree have in Common?
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Maria went home from Catholic school happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
You know what you call a Nun with Dementia who wanders aimlessly? A Roamin Catholic
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar and he orders himself a drink
A priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant minister walk into a bar.
The barman says, "What is this? A joke?"
A man goes to Reconciliation on a D.C. church. "Bless me father, for I have sinned", he said, "I killed a congressman."
"Young man", the priest replied, "I am here to hear your sins, not to hear you brag about your community service."
The great Buddha walked up to a hot dog vendor, handed him a 20 dollar bill and said, "make me one with everything"...
Buddha: Wheres my change?
The hot dog vendor replied, "Change must come from within"
A child went to sunday School and heard about how Eve was made from Adams rib. He came home very worried. His Mother asked, "what's wrong?"
He replied "my side hurts, i think Im having a wife".
(ever seen that commercial "what would you do for a klondike bar?")
So if Eve were willing to curse all of her children and descendents over an apple...what would she do for a klondike bar?
A nun asked her students "why is it important to be quiet during mass?"
the Children responded, "because people are sleeping".
A nun asked her children what they wanted to be when they grow up.
Suzy: I want to be a prostitute?
Nun: A what?
Suzy: A prostitute
Nun: Oh thank God! I thought you said I want to be a Protestant.
A nurse said "I've been so blessed, my husband is an angel"! Her supervisor responded, "you are fortunate, my husband is still alive".
In sunday school a child heard the famous tale that George Washington never told a lie. The teacher than read the Scripture "Liars will not enter the kingdom of Heaven". He went home and Asked His Dad, "Did you, Mom, grandma, Grandpa tell lies". His Dad replied, "Yes but only when the truth hurt." The boy responded, "Heaven must be a lonely place with only God and George Washington!"
A priest said, "boy every time you swear it sends a cold Chill down my spine".
Boy: "well if you'd been nearby yesterday when Dad cut his finger on the sawblade you'd have frozen to death!"
A Catholic boy and a protestant boy are talking. The Catholic says "My priest knows more than your minister". The protestant boy replies "Of course he does, you Catholics tell him everything!".
