This empty feeling

[rossrocks88]

Just recently a family friend passed away and every time I experience a death I get this strange empty feeling ( you'd say doesn't everyone, of course, but it feels different from that). The religious types will pray and make themselves feel better about a situation but what do I do? I feel like I'm missing something or maybe I just don't know how to handle sadness and stress the way others do. It's not that I want to pray, because to what? But I can't explain the feeling I get. Perhaps I just need an outlet, someone who can relate. I wasn't raised religious although I was christened for whatever reason my parents thought it necessary. A lot about death in general bothers me because it's such an unknown.

[The Valkyrie]

Just recently a family friend passed away and every time I experience a death I get this strange empty feeling ( you'd say doesn't everyone, of course, but it feels different from that). The religious types will pray and make themselves feel better about a situation but what do I do? I feel like I'm missing something or maybe I just don't know how to handle sadness and stress the way others do. It's not that I want to pray, because to what? But I can't explain the feeling I get. Perhaps I just need an outlet, someone who can relate. I wasn't raised religious although I was christened for whatever reason my parents thought it necessary. A lot about death in general bothers me because it's such an unknown.

I personally get through the grief of death by remembering the person for who they were, the impact they had on my life and the life of others.

I'm a strong believer that those of the religious who use their religion to feel better about the inevitable is simply a placebo effect.

[pocaracas]

I guess it's normal.... each deals with the death of others in their own way.
Much like with parenting, there's no guidebook.
You just wade through it the best you can.
Hang in there!

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

I've had a lot of loss in my life, and it's normal to feel like there's a hole in your heart where the lost loved one used to be. You might even sometimes think you see them out of the corner of your eye sometimes, or hear them calling your name. Seemingly random things might remind you of the one you lost and stir up those feelings anew. It just takes time for your mind to adjust to them being gone. Talking about it helps. Letting yourself have fun with your friends helps. Sometimes, you may feel like writing something about it, and that will help.

[tor]

It's not THAT unknown. I think we have enough information at the moment to say with 99% precision that death is the end.
Do you prefer truth or lie? I think truth is better even if we don't always like it.

[Bob Kelso]

My grandmother passed away a little after I had deconverted, and it was very hard for me to deal with my emotions because I no longer had the comforting thought of an afterlife. I tucked my grief into a tight little ball (figuratively speaking of course) and ignored it, until around Christmas when I remembered that she used to sneak some of the turkey to me when the cooks weren't looking (our family had a strict "no kids allowed in the kitchen til supper" policy ) and I just cried for a while and that was that.

It just takes time I suppose.

[Lek]

First, I want to say I'm sorry to hear of the death of your friend. Death is sad to christians and atheists alike because we're missing someone whom we love or care about. As a christian, when my parents died I did feel emotionally sad for myself, but not for them because I felt they were in a better place than they were here. I look forward to death in one way, but in another way, I don't want to leave my family and friends. I also don't look forward to the dying process, but I do look forward to the end result.

[rossrocks88]

It's not THAT unknown. I think we have enough information at the moment to say with 99% precision that death is the end.
Do you prefer truth or lie? I think truth is better even if we don't always like it.

It's not that death is the end that I don't believe. Honestly I think it's like when you go to sleep and don't dream. You don't even know you exist when you are in that state so that's my take on death...nothingness. calm. It's harder for the people left behind. I just meant it's almost envious the comfort the religious feel from it (praying) but as it was also mentioned it's like a placebo effect. In essence, death sucks and I have an irrational fear of it.

[tor]

It's not THAT unknown. I think we have enough information at the moment to say with 99% precision that death is the end.
Do you prefer truth or lie? I think truth is better even if we don't always like it.

It's not that death is the end that I don't believe. Honestly I think it's like when you go to sleep and don't dream. You don't even know you exist when you are in that state so that's my take on death...nothingness. calm. It's harder for the people left behind. I just meant it's almost envious the comfort the religious feel from it (praying) but as it was also mentioned it's like a placebo effect. In essence, death sucks and I have an irrational fear of it.

You have plenty of time to get used to it.

[fr0d0]

What you feel is perfect for you. Don't think anyone else is handling it any better than you, because they aren't. Coming to terms with it, and forming a sensible attitude takes time and some luck. You're amazing. Don't let anyone tell you or make you feel any different.