Lesbians not liking men - Social construct?

[sven]

I've a friend who's a lesbian. She seems to prefer to hang out with guys over girls, and once she even said that she likes to feel like 'one of the guys'.

I don't know if this is a case of penis envy or something...



I know for a fact she's not a transgender person or anything like that. She dresses 'butch' however, which I find incredibly unaesthetic. Men's clothes just don't fit some women's bodies.
We meet quite often. She is very cute, which is super annoying.

[JesusChristIsLord69]

I've a friend who's a lesbian. She seems to prefer to hang out with guys over girls, and once she even said that she likes to feel like 'one of the guys'.

I don't know if this is a case of penis envy or something...



I know for a fact she's not a transgender person or anything like that. She dresses 'butch' however, which I find incredibly unaesthetic. Men's clothes just don't fit some women's bodies.
We meet quite often. She is very cute, which is super annoying.

Men's clothes don't fit some women's bodies? Erm...how about men's clothes don't fit women period? What the fuck is a woman doing dressing like a man anyway? And you say she's not transgender? Hmmm, yeah right. There's a reason why they call it men's clothes. It's for men, not fucking women. No wonder the world is as it is these days, with people wanting to fuck around and experiment with crossdressing. Fucking disgusting.

[Nine]

Men's clothes don't fit some women's bodies? Erm...how about men's clothes don't fit women period? What the fuck is a woman doing dressing like a man anyway? And you say she's not transgender? Hmmm, yeah right. There's a reason why they call it men's clothes. It's for men, not fucking women. No wonder the world is as it is these days, with people wanting to fuck around and experiment with crossdressing. Fucking disgusting.

We have full blown fucktard and its not even my birthday! I don't even care if this ones a troll, I want to keep it.

[Sejanus]

It appears you've caught a bad case of forumtroll-itis;
Despite the fact that this guy is undoubtedly a jack ass and probably a troll, I agree somewhat with the OP. From what I've seen, I think it's certainly more common for gay men to be friends with straight women than it is for lesbians to get along with straight men. However, I don't have the arrogance to assume my experience can be extrapolated to a general stereotype.

[JesusChristIsLord69]

It appears you've caught a bad case of forumtroll-itis;
Despite the fact that this guy is undoubtedly a jack ass and probably a troll, I agree somewhat with the OP. From what I've seen, I think it's certainly more common for gay men to be friends with straight women than it is for lesbians to get along with straight men. However, I don't have the arrogance to assume my experience can be extrapolated to a general stereotype.

Well at least you're honest enough to admit that lesbians don't get on with straight men. You say from what you've seen, and it's also from what I've seen, and also from what everyone I know has seen. The stereotype stands. It's absolutely true that lesbians dislike men.

[Napoléon]

The stereotype stands. It's absolutely true that lesbians dislike men.

Time to abandon thread.

[JesusChristIsLord69]

The stereotype stands. It's absolutely true that lesbians dislike men.

Time to abandon thread.

We won't miss you.

[Rev. Rye]

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason the straight male-lesbian equivalent to the "fag hag" relationship isn't as common as its gay male-straight women conterparts is not because of the lesbians, but because of the straight men?

Here are some reasons that many men wouldn't enter into such a friendship (and as a straight man myself, I do have the knowledge base to make blanket statements about large groups of straight men):

• Many straight men simply won't bother with a relationship with a woman who simply will never want to fuck him.
  
• Some men will actually try because they seriously think they can make them straight. This, by the way, is impossible. And even if they don't expect it, they may hope for a "show" of some kind (ranging from a kiss to, well, the entire contents of Blue is the Warmest Color.)
  
• It's bizarrely common for men to stereotype lesbians as being like either Andrea "All heterosexual sex is rape" Dworkin and the most recent Sasha Grey girl-on-girl-fest with almost no grey area in between.
  
• Lesbians are too often percieved as being masculine (some are, some aren't), and some men may feel their own masculinity threatened by this.
  
• The very feminist-oriented nature of lesbian culture alienates many men, especially the ones who haven't realised that feminism, in the end, is primarily about equality between the sexes.
  
• Lesbians are not often seen as being "fun" as gay men are, so many men think, why bother?
  

For the record, most of the female friends I've made are either lesbian or old enough to be my mother.

[JesusChristIsLord69]

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason the straight male-lesbian equivalent to the "fag hag" relationship isn't as common as its gay male-straight women conterparts is not because of the lesbians, but because of the straight men?

Here are some reasons that many men wouldn't enter into such a friendship (and as a straight man myself, I do have the knowledge base to make blanket statements about large groups of straight men):

• Many straight men simply won't bother with a relationship with a woman who simply will never want to fuck him.
  
• Some men will actually try because they seriously think they can make them straight. This, by the way, is impossible. And even if they don't expect it, they may hope for a "show" of some kind (ranging from a kiss to, well, the entire contents of Blue is the Warmest Color.)
  
• It's bizarrely common for men to stereotype lesbians as being like either Andrea "All heterosexual sex is rape" Dworkin and the most recent Sasha Grey girl-on-girl-fest with almost no grey area in between.
  
• Lesbians are too often percieved as being masculine (some are, some aren't), and some men may feel their own masculinity threatened by this.
  
• The very feminist-oriented nature of lesbian culture alienates many men, especially the ones who haven't realised that feminism, in the end, is primarily about equality between the sexes.
  
• Lesbians are not often seen as being "fun" as gay men are, so many men think, why bother?
  

For the record, most of the female friends I've made are either lesbian or old enough to be my mother.

Oh no! The generalisations! While we're at it, how come lesbians are mostly mentally ill? Look it up.

[Rev. Rye]

I've looked it up; from what I read (from the APA's own website), it seems that A) any rise in mental health problems for gay people are likely seem to be due to social rejection than anything biological, and B) specifically relating to lesbians, a study has been done; partly due to higher levels of education and mobility, and partly due to being part of supportive communities, the likelihood for mental illness between lesbians and their heterosexual sisters (note: "sister" in this case is not a metaphor; the study did study several pairs of sisters) was about the same, and the lesbians even reported higher self-esteem. Another study actually showed that the more "out" lesbians and bisexual women are, the more mentally healthy they become.

All this info can be found here: http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb02/newdata.aspx