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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
How would you like to be martyred?

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How would you like to be martyred?
Phatt Matt s Offline
Bishop of the Labia Diocese
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#1
How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:16 pm (This post was last modified: April 1, 2014 at 2:37 pm by Phatt Matt s.)
So with Islam spreading so rapidly and the Muslim birthrate being eight times higher than nonmuslims in some countries, if America were to be conquered by extremists and you were to be executed for not converting, and had a choice of how you were to die, what would you choose?

My first choice would be beheading. (quitting while I'm a head :p)
I've seen Jews and Christians get beheaded in Muslim countries and getting kicked around like soccer balls. It looks surprisingly peaceful and serene. Why would I want to die a boring natural death if I could entertain people by such unusual means?

My second choice would be firing squad. Getting hit by 10 bullets at once would be breathtaking.

Getting thrown from a skyscraper would probably be quite interesting being the adrenaline junky that I am.
Also, since I was very young I've always wanted to get run over by a train.

Getting shot up with enough morphine to kill a horse would be pretty nifty as well.
Any other ideas?
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ShaMan Offline
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#2
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:19 pm (This post was last modified: April 1, 2014 at 2:20 pm by ShaMan.)
I have an ax in one hand and a mace in the other - bring it on!
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popeyespappy Offline Donators
some kind of demographic homunculus
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#3
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:20 pm
In a threesome with a couple of cute bisexual chicks at the age of 114.
Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.
[Image: JUkLw58.gif]
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Nine Offline
Bee-ad
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#4
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:20 pm
Getting martyred is not on my to do list. Lucky for me not being american if america was taken over by extremists I'd be okay.. Pretty pissed off seems you 'Mericans are an okay bunch though.
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Jackalope Offline
Exiled
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#5
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:21 pm
Tyrion Lannister Wrote:In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.

Like that.
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Phatt Matt s Offline
Bishop of the Labia Diocese
Religious Views: Amish
Posts: 1674
Threads: 81
Joined: March 13, 2014
Reputation: 23
#6
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm (This post was last modified: April 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm by Phatt Matt s.)
(April 1, 2014 at 2:21 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote:
Tyrion Lannister Wrote:In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.

Some people have died like that. Heart attacks while having sex lol. The heartratecan go up to extreme levels when one is whipped into an erotic frenzy.

Yeah I'd like to get fucked to death Devil
(April 1, 2014 at 2:20 pm)Insanity Wrote: Getting martyred is not on my to do list. Lucky for me not being american if america was taken over by extremists I'd be okay.. Pretty pissed off seems you 'Mericans are an okay bunch though.

Insanity I just realized you're amish as well. LOL. I promise I didn't copy you Big Grin
(April 1, 2014 at 2:19 pm)ShaMan Wrote: I have an ax in one hand and a mace in the other - bring it on!

Yeah! If I get diagnosed with an incureable debilitating disease, or have an accident that leaves me in a wheelchair, I'll get a plane ticket to your town and you take me out in the woods decked out in war paint and split my head open with your hatchet.

Sacrifice me to your animist Gods.

Then tie me to a tree and light it on fire and invite your friends over for Pow WOW! Wink

Dude seriously! It would be an honor and pleasure to serve you and enhance your life in such a way.
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Nine Offline
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#7
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:31 pm
(April 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm)Thunder Cunt Wrote: Insanity I just realized you're amish as well. LOL. I promise I didn't copy you Big Grin

[Image: weirdAlAmish.jpg]
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Phatt Matt s Offline
Bishop of the Labia Diocese
Religious Views: Amish
Posts: 1674
Threads: 81
Joined: March 13, 2014
Reputation: 23
#8
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:34 pm (This post was last modified: April 1, 2014 at 2:35 pm by Phatt Matt s.)
(April 1, 2014 at 2:31 pm)Insanity Wrote:
(April 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm)Thunder Cunt Wrote: Insanity I just realized you're amish as well. LOL. I promise I didn't copy you Big Grin

[Image: weirdAlAmish.jpg]

Amish gun totin Gangsta!

ROFLOL

Damn! That should have been my avatar!

Do you belong to the traditional, or the reformed Congregation of latterday Amish GoatFuckery?
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Nine Offline
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#9
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:39 pm
(April 1, 2014 at 2:34 pm)Thunder Cunt Wrote: Do you belong to the traditional, or the reformed Congregation of latterday Amish GoatFuckery?

As tempting as the goat fucking is, I'm part of the "Fuck this shit I like technology" church. We have barns with fiber optic internet and gaming PC's.
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#10
RE: How would you like to be martyred?
April 1, 2014 at 2:46 pm
If I must be martyred then I want to go out taking as many fundamentalists and hateful theists as possible with me.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
How would you like to be martyred?

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