Funerals don't have to be sad

[Minimalist]

Funerals are for the living.....the deceased no longer gives a rat's ass.

[vorlon13]

Speaking for the friends, we weren't sure where the family stood on the matter till afterwards. I was a pallbearer, in the front row and couldn't see everyone else's reaction. I'm sure the preacher was aware I, at least, was POd with his attitude.

Conversely, an older cousin of mine died last summer. While not exactly estranged from her relatives, she 'had tun off with a biker dude' in the late 60s and not had much contact with the family since. At the service it was quite a mix of aging bikers, her hospice volunteers, her family, and her son's in-laws. (the son had married a 'society deb', his in-laws thought we were 'white trash' (FLOABT), lord only knows what they thought of the bikers, LOL)

Anyhow, her service was about as low key and understated as any service as I've been to. Her 'biker' family was just as heart felt stricken at her loss as the rest of us.

One of the more interesting funerals I've been to. One of her husband riding buddies recounted the snakebite story (she lived, snake didn't) through tears during the service. She had an amazing life.

I think her son is having an interesting life too . . . . . . .

[DarkHorse]

I've been to plenty of funerals, and will no doubt attend even more. I agree, celebrating someone's life is the better way to do it, but there's also that necessary mourning period.

I'm not arguing with you on that Frodo. I was just saying that I feel believing in heaven is destructive. A lot of people feel they have to suffer here on earth and give up their happiness, in the hopes that heaven will make up for it. That heaven is when they will truly be alive and happy. I don't buy it.

[fr0d0]

I agree completely then DarkHorse.

[downbeatplumb]

Funerals are the only times I see my cousins so they are actually quite nice, fewer attendees each time but otherwise.....

[Fidel_Castronaut]

Inspired by Katie's intro thread

In my church, the salvation army, funerals are a celebration. But you'd be wrong to think that no one is sad.

Ever since I saw the funeral march in Live and let Die, with the band breaking into a celebratory dance, I've thought that's the way funerals should be. Why not celebrate the good things of a life rather than just focus on the loss.

We need to acknowledge the loss, sure. The point of funerals is to deal with it and to help us move on. Baggage like extended sadness is destructive.

Yoda: Careful you must be when sensing the future Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.
Anakin Skywalker: I won't let these visions come true, Master Yoda.
Yoda: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.
Anakin Skywalker: What must I do, Master Yoda?
Yoda: Train yourself to let go... of everything you fear to lose.

My dad will die this year, and we all know it.

His funeral will have no black, be entirely secular, and he and the family will be transported in VW camper vans. There's actually a company who specialise in it in the Uk! Crazy.

In a really bizarre way, I'm kind of looking forward to it! Should be a right laugh

[Losty]

I haven't been to a funeral since I was a young kid. I don't ever plan to go to another one either.

[LastPoet]

The one funeral I'll have to attend is my own. I tend to avoid it as long as I can.

[SteelCurtain]

UI've actually never been to a funeral. Being from a Navy family, we were always too far away for the whole fam to travel. The one funeral I was supposed to be at was my grandfather's, but I was in the middle of the Indian ocean when I got the red cross bulletin, and couldn't get there.

I guess I've been lucky.

[psychoslice]

I don't think funerals should be dictated to be sad or funny, we all have our own way of griveing and that is how it should be, let what needs to come out, come out.