So far...

[Clueless Morgan]

Atheism sucks big hairy balls. Sorry, but it does. Personal view only you understand.

Been a few months now and so far I got zero payoff. Squat. Diddly. I preferred my comfortable lie to this ugly truth, but having unplugged, I now can't plug myself back in or unthink what I thought.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time but, as others have said, did you really expect to get something when you became an atheist? Did you expect to win some kind of prize when you realized fairies and unicorns weren't real? No, why would a god be any different?

I can't even have fun debating with christians because I would not want them to lose what I lost!

I think I'm going through the kuber Ross model for Yahweh and I'm stuck on anger.

That's what this sounds like to me: a reactionary statement out of frustration and anger. You may feel differently about your loss of faith (and debating) in the future, but for now let things take their natural course, let yourself be angry for a time, and in the meantime find something that you enjoy doing and do it - a hobby, a sport, volunteering, a book club, etc.

Does it take more work to be an atheist? Arguably, yes: you have to seek out a social group if you want to be around like-minded people; you have to seek out volunteering opportunities on your own, they're not just passed around in the monthly newsletter; there's no reference manual for being an atheist, you have to find your own way.

It's hard and it can suck and it can feel daunting but I'd take atheism and being in charge of my own life every day if the alternative meant having to join a group I barely agree with whose leaders have questionable motives at best and are criminals at worst and that requires that I stop thinking for myself and just beeleeeeve what they tell me to.

Hang in there, Jacob, it'll (probably ) get better.

[RobbyPants]

I think I'm going through the kuber Ross model for Yahweh and I'm stuck on anger.

I'd hate to see what you get like when you get to the bargaining stage.

"Just let me believe in heaven. I can dump the rest of it, but just give me back heaven!"

[Tonus]

Been a few months now and so far I got zero payoff. Squat. Diddly. I preferred my comfortable lie to this ugly truth, but having unplugged, I now can't plug myself back in or unthink what I thought.

Maybe that's just part of the process for you. It's a pretty big change in your worldview. Humans are pretty adaptable, once atheism has you in the grip of its version of Stockholme Syndrome, you'll wonder what the fuss was about.

[ShaMan]

I tried atheism for a while... It's not for me.

The damn plants won't stop talking to me!

[Minimalist]

When you become a Christian you get a whole slew of benefits!

What xtians get is a shitload of empty promises from con artists.

[Simon Moon]

Atheism sucks big hairy balls. Sorry, but it does. Personal view only you understand.

Best thing that ever happened to me.

I'd much rather believe as many true things and as few false things as possible. Eliminating a huge false belief from infecting my brain was great.

Been a few months now and so far I got zero payoff. Squat. Diddly. I preferred my comfortable lie to this ugly truth, but having unplugged, I now can't plug myself back in or unthink what I thought.

The payoff is having an internal map of the world that is much more likely to coincide with the actual world.

And the intellectual honesty is not so bad either.

I can't even have fun debating with christians because I would not want them to lose what I lost!

Don't worry, the vast majority of them are much to comfortable with their delusion to be convinced by you. You overestimate your ability to deconvert them.

I think I'm going through the kuber Ross model for Yahweh and I'm stuck on anger.

Be angry at those that indoctrinated you, not at reality.

[The Valkyrie]

Welcomes back.

Been kinda worried about you.

In all honesty you need to stop looking for a payoff.

Atheism doesn't offer eternal rewards or promise a happy life. It's a non belikef in deities. THat's it.

WHat many fallen theists aren't able to realise is that we make our own meaning in our lives - not some imaginary god.

Have you tried seeking out other atheists or an atheist community.

I know it can be hard, especially when those around you start to ignore you because you no longer believe what they believe - that's part of the religious disease.

Take a deep breath.
Have a coffee.
Relax.
Go back out into the world and find what reality has to offer.

[rexbeccarox]

Sorry you're going through a rough time, Jake. I grew up in a Christian household, but I never believed it, so I never felt a sense of loss when I realized I was an atheist. I can only imagine how angry one must be when he realizes he's been fed a pack of lies his whole life, though.

well, when you suck an asshole, your left with a shitty taste. try growing up.

Why do you have to be a dick?

By the way: it's "archangel" and "atheist". Not "archangle" and "athiest". Grownups use proper spelling and grammar.

[Simon Moon]

Atheism sucks big hairy balls. Sorry, but it does. Personal view only you understand.

Been a few months now and so far I got zero payoff. Squat. Diddly. I preferred my comfortable lie to this ugly truth, but having unplugged, I now can't plug myself back in or unthink what I thought.

I can't even have fun debating with christians because I would not want them to lose what I lost!

I think I'm going through the kuber Ross model for Yahweh and I'm stuck on anger.

Maybe this will help. I feel great every time I watch it.

[Black_Pegasus]

Being unplugged from the Matrix of Religion is not for everyone. Particularly if you are weak and need a crush in life. Do I sometimes envy my friends ability to lay hope at the footsteps of an absent deity? Yes, but it's only temporary. Knowing that there isn't an afterlife gives me greater control over my own destiny, not some magical creature in the sky.