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How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 5:46 pm
(This post was last modified: June 20, 2014 at 5:47 pm by Bad Wolf.)
How the hell do you answer the 'does this 'blank' make me look fat?' question?
If I say yes, i'm being rude, if I say no, she thinks i'm telling her what she wants to hear, if I pause before answering, i'm as good as dead!
Help me out here guys, and maybe girls....I dunno
'The more I learn about people the more I like my dog'- Mark Twain
'You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.' - Dr House
“Young earth creationism is essentially the position that all of modern science, 90% of living scientists and 98% of living biologists, all major university biology departments, every major science journal, the American Academy of Sciences, and every major science organization in the world, are all wrong regarding the origins and development of life….but one particular tribe of uneducated, bronze aged, goat herders got it exactly right.” - Chuck Easttom
"If my good friend Doctor Gasparri speaks badly of my mother, he can expect to get punched.....You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others. There is a limit." - Pope Francis on freedom of speech
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:06 pm
(This post was last modified: June 20, 2014 at 6:11 pm by ShaMan.)
Once, my wife asked me if her skirt made her ass look big. I said.. "No, your big ass makes your ass look big."
On another occasion, she asked... "Does this blouse make my boobs look too small?" To which I replied... "No, your small boobs make your boobs look small."
We have a really honest relationship.
On another note, I once asked her if my jeans made my package look small... 
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:09 pm
(June 20, 2014 at 5:46 pm)Bad Wolf Wrote: How the hell do you answer the 'does this 'blank' make me look fat?' question?
"Hit the gym fatass".
10% of the time, it works every time.
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:15 pm
(This post was last modified: June 20, 2014 at 6:17 pm by Jenny A.)
"The other "blank" looks much better on you."
Provided of course she does own things that look better on her.
(June 20, 2014 at 6:06 pm)ShaMan Wrote: On another note, I once asked her if my jeans made my package look small...
And do you still think, having heard the answer, that you have an honest relationship? 
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:18 pm
(June 20, 2014 at 6:06 pm)ShaMan Wrote: On another note, I once asked her if my jeans made my package look small...
And what did she say?
'The more I learn about people the more I like my dog'- Mark Twain
'You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.' - Dr House
“Young earth creationism is essentially the position that all of modern science, 90% of living scientists and 98% of living biologists, all major university biology departments, every major science journal, the American Academy of Sciences, and every major science organization in the world, are all wrong regarding the origins and development of life….but one particular tribe of uneducated, bronze aged, goat herders got it exactly right.” - Chuck Easttom
"If my good friend Doctor Gasparri speaks badly of my mother, he can expect to get punched.....You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others. There is a limit." - Pope Francis on freedom of speech
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:18 pm
Tell her you prefer her naked and therefore cannot register an opinion regarding a covering as they are all sinister.
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:18 pm
(June 20, 2014 at 6:09 pm)Napoléon Wrote: "Hit the gym fatass".
10% of the time, it works every time.
I like that logic! It combines my love of insulting people and telling the truth!
'The more I learn about people the more I like my dog'- Mark Twain
'You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.' - Dr House
“Young earth creationism is essentially the position that all of modern science, 90% of living scientists and 98% of living biologists, all major university biology departments, every major science journal, the American Academy of Sciences, and every major science organization in the world, are all wrong regarding the origins and development of life….but one particular tribe of uneducated, bronze aged, goat herders got it exactly right.” - Chuck Easttom
"If my good friend Doctor Gasparri speaks badly of my mother, he can expect to get punched.....You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others. There is a limit." - Pope Francis on freedom of speech
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:19 pm
You've got to be proactive. Before she has to ask, you should offer an opinion. Wives love this.
"Holy shit, honey - that dress makes your ass look fucking enormous."
She'll appreciate your initiative.
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:19 pm
(June 20, 2014 at 6:15 pm)Jenny A Wrote: "The other "blank" looks much better on you."
Provided of course she does own things that look better on her.
Genius! But what if she asks why? Then i'm screwed!
'The more I learn about people the more I like my dog'- Mark Twain
'You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.' - Dr House
“Young earth creationism is essentially the position that all of modern science, 90% of living scientists and 98% of living biologists, all major university biology departments, every major science journal, the American Academy of Sciences, and every major science organization in the world, are all wrong regarding the origins and development of life….but one particular tribe of uneducated, bronze aged, goat herders got it exactly right.” - Chuck Easttom
"If my good friend Doctor Gasparri speaks badly of my mother, he can expect to get punched.....You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others. There is a limit." - Pope Francis on freedom of speech
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RE: How the hell?!?!
June 20, 2014 at 6:20 pm
(This post was last modified: June 20, 2014 at 6:21 pm by ShaMan.)
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