Spare the rod, spoil the child

[vorlon13]

I'm aware when I admonish Christian 'slackers' into greater conformity with Scripture that a consequence of that is the possibility that some of them will abuse their children.

While it can be a source of amusement to me that Christians I chide into getting paranoid about wearing a polyester tie with a wool suit, or into looking at a shrimp appetizer prior to their 'front half of the cow' steak as something that will threaten their eventual Salvation, there are clearly some other items in their Bibles that are horrific, and that the power of shaming and 'peer' (even if I am insincere in my blandishments advocating Literalism and Inerrancy) pressure might result in more of the abuses noted earlier in this thread.

It's something I need to reflect upon.

[Chad32]

my dad would spank me till i was about 13... till i spanked back... Don't worry.. Someday all them kids will do the same thing i did.. my dad hit me for having a harry potter book and i broke his arm.

My dad hasn't hit me as much since I started standing up to him either. Unfortunately he's still considerably stronger than me, so I can't really repay him in kind.

He once accidentally hit me in the face while showing me how to crank up a weedwacker, and I was standing in the wrong spot. It hurt like hell. It seemed to freak him out when mom saw it, quickly making sure she knew it was an accident.

I don't think anyone knows I used to have nightmares about him.

[Clueless Morgan]

Aren't you all big and bad parent monsters..

https://m.facebook.com/groups/149052081991

How are these people not in jail? They're using their real names, confessing to hitting their children, in some cases they're conspiring together about how to get away with paddling their kids in such a way as to ensure they don't go to jail... WTF?

I also don't understand how those Moonshiners shows get away with showing the faces of the people making the moonshine; can't that footage be used as evidence against them since what they're doing is illegal?

Also my daughter told us once she was going to report us to the police and have us arrested for giving her lamb casserole for dinner (which THAT DAY she didn't like). Our neighbors are both Police officers. I was so tempted to ask one of them to pop around in uniform and take her complaint down!

Sounds like a great way to call her bluff. Do it next time. Sounds like she's old enough to realize that's a really stupid thing to call the cops about and it'll probably embarrass her pretty good to actually have to explain to the cops that the reason they're there is because you fed her food she doesn't like.

[Napoléon]

Yeah, I've totally reported that page. People on there talking about using belts on their kids. I hope other people report it as well.

Fucking disgusting.


My two cents for what it's worth:

If you resort to spanking it just shows that you don't know how to control your kid. I honestly think people who do this should take a parenting class. I know Jacob said it would have made his particular scenario better. But that's bullshit. Better for who? You? Because you don't want spend the time on a kid who is just playing up? So you'd much rather resort to smacking them instead? Sure it'll stop the playing up, for now. But that kid isn't going to be any happier for it, and it should pretty obvious in this day and age that spanking is wrong. The reasons shouldn't even need to be discussed. People need to watch some god damn Supernanny. Parenting isn't always about telling a kid off when they're doing something wrong. How about actually giving them an incentive to be nice and polite. Positive reinforcement instead of negative correction. Most parents completely ignore that side to parenting and just resort to hitting them whenever the kid messes about. How is a kid going to get any better when they have no incentive or reward for being better. If the only thing the parent knows is spanking then the only thing the kid will do is be a little jackass in turn.

[Chad32]

Parent probably wouldn't spank their children as much if it started hurting their hands after a certain point.

[Bibliofagus]

Fuck. Most of the stuff Luckie quoted from that FB-page would be totally illegal in Holland. Paddles? Really? Bare bottom spanking? Structurally implementing anything like that would cause you to lose you your child over here. As it should be. Teachers and doctors are being trained to spot the signs.

I also think taking away (let's say) a month of a kid's social life can have a negative impact on the kid's development. And that such punishment should be rarely if ever be implemented. But I'm going on my experience growing up myself here. I've been grounded. It was 100% deserved - no complaints there. But in the end it caused me to lose a lot of friends and subsequently I switched schools.

I don't have any kids yet, but I'm thinking about these things because there's a good chance this will change in the near future. And I'm clueless about how to deal with these things from a parents point of view

[FatAndFaithless]

Just never really understood the thought "my kid is doing something I don't like, hitting him/her sounds like a good idea".

[Jacob(smooth)]

---

Jacob,

I honestly feel like spanking bottoms is baby talk. It's primal, and needed when they're babies and have no other language to communicate with, and it's not even remembered or harmful to their psyche. They learn from it.
The second those kids can start reasoning-- I think spanking's off the table. Threatening a child with physical pain is barbaric. They're in your care, and if you're too lazy to follow through and discipline them correctly: shame on you. Like these people.

so tonight my girls were put down for a early bedtime with a hard spanking with the paddle after there were playing and broke the lamp in my room and there is no light in my room for tonight I just had my laptop to give me light for tonight this mommy is not very happy tonight

CMON, a paddle spank?? For an accident?????? Then she is so unsure of herself she must get on facebook and get other dipwads who don't know how to parent, to re-affirm her.

I can think of a million better ways to handle that incident. Like having the kids go into their rooms and dish out all of the money they own out of their piggy banks, and be told that their future allowances will go towards the new lamp. Then, yes, sent to bed early. Accidents happen, but if you just spank their butts then how are they supposed to know the repurcussions of their actions?

Just venting is all: today my twin 8 year old boys had to go to their doctor for a check up, and to have blood tested (they both have medical issues so have blood draw every month) well my one 8 year old locked himself in the bathroom at the doctors office because he didn't want his blood taken or to have an iv put in because his body is a little low on potasium (not sure i spelled that right). I always tell him the sooner he sits down and lets the doctors do their job the sooner it's over and we can go home. He always has a tantrum while there but him locking himself in the bathroom was a bit embarrasing lol. I hope he'll never do that again.
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2 people like this.


poor baby .. needles scare me! i give you so much credit (hug)
Like · May 13


I know i felt so so bad for him sadly i had to give him a small spanking because he was in there for about and hour after constantly telling him to come out but it was just a small one and i cuddled him after. And i'm holding him while they are taking his blood in all so he won't freak out so much needles do suck.Like · 1 · May 13

Poor baby. I agree you were right to warm his bottom a little, but I HATE needles too,!! I would have probably hid in the bathroom myself!! I can't imagine going through it every month
Like · 1 · May 13

I know that is why i felt horrible about giving him a spanking. But i let him know the spanking was for not listening, not because he was scared.

So you're telling me that not only did this child have an emotional breakdown over a very understandable no-choice event--but then she smacked his bottom? In public. Seems to me she was more upset about him not listening to her for an hour, that she felt she had to have retribution when he did come out. For her arrogance, not his well being. Then her *feeling bad about it just re-inforces the child's impressions that what she did was wrong! Cuz it was.

All she just did was show how much of a weak individual she is, to her children by spanking them not on her own volition but out of the "spare the rod spoil the child" bible book rules that she has no power over either. She simply multiplied their feeling of powerlessness in doctors offices, and they lost respect for her ultimately if not in short term as well.

What I would have done is told the child to come out, that we won't be doing this test today, take him home, talk with him about it after he's spent time in timeout, and taken privileges away from him while re-iterating that he has to take care of himself like his brother who got the shot did, before he can play this or do that. Then take him back in another day when he's decided its what he has to do, for him.

In response to a pic of twin 3yr olds sitting together crying, having a tantrum in the store.


Pat Byrne
Hate to see brats like this in a store
Like · Jul 11 at 4:12am

Thomas Young
I spank both of them real good they should know enough to behave while there out I'd make there butts good and sore for sure.....
Like · Jul 11 at 4:46am

Thomas Young
I hope she got her little ass spanked real good and hard....

This.. this just makes me think they're evil people.

Okay please tell me what you think. I have a four year old stepdaughter that gets spanked and usually often cause she is stubborn . Her dad usually gives her light taps with a thin ruler which give just a little sting. However serious infractions get the belt or paddle. The other day at some friends if she didn't behave she would get paddled. Well she misbehaved and I said she would get 2 swats when we got home
She kept it up so I kept adding a swat for each misbehavior. After I got to 10 I said ok now its gonna be bare bottom
That little shit still kept it up! She was up to twelve by the time we got back. I didn't know what to do
Twelve paddles to a 4 year olds bare bottom is excessive but if I didn't do it she would not listen next time. What would you do?



Joe Cyrus
I would give her the 12 bare bottom swats! Personally, I believe she is testing you, and perhaps doesn't believe you will go through with it.
Like · 2 · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
Ok but I live in Illinois and that would of left marks. That means I go to jail.
Like · 1 · Jun 29
Joe Cyrus
Whose going to see them? And if you are needing to give her 12 and worried it is to much, don't spank as hard!
Like · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
I don't know who would see them but I'm afraid to find out.
Like · 1 · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
I also have an 8 year old stepson and he usually very well behaved but got grounded for 2 weeks.
Like · 1 · Jun 29
Andrea Sorrells
He was begging to be unfounded about 9 days in. So I said ok if you want out of it go pick a switch and let me blister your bottom. I figured he wwould say no way but he actually did it.
Like · 2 · Jun 29
Joe Cyrus
Well then I guess you have one of two choices in the matter. Follow through and show your stepdaughter that you will not tolerate her behavior, or don't follow through and show your stepdaughter that your threats are empty and she can continue to misbehave while out with you.

Here's how abuse happens. It starts off with well meaning corrections and ends up a battle of wills. Kids, will, test you. Don't fail the fucking test.

Oh and Adolescents getting spanked is just a joke. An absolute disdainful shameful act that hurts their self confidence and psyche more than anything.


I'm glad you haven't swatted your kids. They'll be better off for it, studies say. I know what it's like to get into a headstrong disagreement testing of power moment with a kid. You just have to remember that you're the adult, they're the child, and the very food they eat is provided for, by you. Remind them of that. Tell her that if she doesn't eat her breakfast this morning, then that's the only breakfast she'll be able to eat for a month. Or give her a choice (choices are always nice as it gets a kid to back out of the corner). She can eat this breakfast, or choose not to eat it and opt out of supper. Simple. When suppertime comes and she begs for food and you feel bad for starving her: offer her that cereal It's food. And she'll be so hungry it'll probably taste good, too.

Be smarter than the kids and you'll never have to raise a finger at them.

Anyways that's my opinion on the matter.

---

Our of interest, do you have kids?

[Clueless Morgan]

Parent probably wouldn't spank their children as much if it started hurting their hands after a certain point.

No, they're just switch to a spanking implement - belt, a switch, a paddle... my parents used a wooden spoon and made the spankee go and get it.

Just never really understood the thought "my kid is doing something I don't like, hitting him/her sounds like a good idea".

I don't have kids and hopefully never will (unless I go crazy and decide to adopt a little hooligan) but I have never understood the reasoning that it's not okay to hit a perfect stranger for being an idiot, nor is it okay to hit someone else's kid for acting up in public, but it's perfectly okay to hit your own kid? No. If hitting isn't okay to do to strangers, it's even less okay to do to someone you know, let alone your own child.

[Chad32]

Honestly I don't know how to get my nieces to actually do something without getting rough with them, though that's probably more a sign that I don't relly know how to deal with unruly children. They won't go sit in a corner, and if I take their stuff they just keep whining to get it back. Like when one niece kept dropping her tablet on the ground because her hands were full of other stuff. I took the tablet and told her she would have to choose to hold the stuffed cat or the tablet. Instead she just kept whining to get the tablet back until my mom told me to return it. In her defense, though, they were actually about to leave the house and the niece was allowed to take the tablet to the car.

I bring the fun when I come over, as they say, so when I'm trying to be serious they don't take me seriously.