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Thoughts on gays and sin
#1
Thoughts on gays and sin
I just had a thought about the whole issue of gay rights and Christianity. Maybe we True Christians ™ are getting all worked up about something that has a very simple solution.

Consider, we are all sinners.

Further, we can't help but be sinners. Our best works are as filthy rags. So we may as well not even try.

Salvation is by faith alone. Jesus died on the cross for our sins and always stands ready to forgive. So we can sin all we like and then just pray to our invisible imaginary fr... LORD AND SAVIOR and say "sorry about that" and the slate is continually wiped clean.

Therefore, there's no need for any "ex-gay" ministries or trying to "pray the gay away". Homosexuality is a sin like any other. Sin is inevitable. Sin is something we can do constantly and still attain salvation just with a simple prayer to wipe the slate clean.

The plan for gay Christian then could be:

1. Have lots of hot gay sex.
2. Pray.
3. Have more hot gay sex.
4. Pray.
5. Have even more hot gay sex.
6. Pray.
7. Repeat as much as desired.

No muss. No fuss. No need for self-loathing. No need for trying to change what you are. Just keep praying after you get done with all the intense [Censored for want of being able to post in Area 69] and the passionate [oh damn this needs to be censored] and rubbing your [nope not publishing this either] against his [this censored part goes on for a few sentences] and all that... mmmmmm ...what was I saying again? Blush

Oh yes, I was praying to Lord Jesus to forgive me for calling him an "invisible imaginary friend".

See? It never happened. The slate's been wiped clean.

Praise the sweet name of Jesus!
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church

™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to. 

And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:  Wink
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#2
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
That approach might be endorsed by the christers for wife beating, bank robbery, murder, remarriage following divorce (adultery), arson, coveting, picking up sticks on the sabbath, wearing clothing made of mixed fabrics, idolatry, abortion, allowing a menstruating woman in church, or eating a crab cake, but absolutely goddam NOT for greasy homo butt sex !!!!
NEVER NEVER NEVER !!!!
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#3
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
(December 5, 2014 at 3:00 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: That approach might be endorsed by the christers for wife beating, bank robbery, murder, remarriage following divorce (adultery), arson, coveting, picking up sticks on the sabbath, wearing clothing made of mixed fabrics, idolatry, abortion, allowing a menstruating woman in church, or eating a crab cake, but absolutely goddam NOT for greasy homo butt sex !!!!
NEVER NEVER NEVER !!!!

Hey, we all know that hot lipstick lesbian sex is approved by god.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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#4
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
YOu are going to confuse your followers, YITW.

They are easily confused anyway.
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#5
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
Fuck you gimme my crab cake
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#6
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
I agree that homosexual butt sex is the worst sin imaginable, and anyone even thinking about it should be put to death before they were born. But I see where you're going, instead we can just look past that and say they will be un-sinned after some praying and grovelling, so why not throw in some butt sex with the murder and pillage?

I mean, sometimes you run out of girls or you killed them all when you invaded. That's not gay right? You gotta stick it somewhere. And accidents happen, the aim is not always perfect when there's a lot of nakedness and rape going on. And if you're about to kill them all anyway, why not have a little fun? It's not fun though.

So in closing, I agree. Christians should soften their stance and just accept Jesus died so that you don't have to worry about butt sex.

Wait, are we killing lesbians? Can lesbians butt fuck? Is it gay if it's not butt stuff?

I'll give God a call, brb

Judging by the video God was watching when I skyped him, he's ok with lesbians.
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#7
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
(December 5, 2014 at 2:37 pm)YahwehIsTheWay Wrote: I just had a thought about the whole issue of gay rights and Christianity. Maybe we True Christians ™ are getting all worked up about something that has a very simple solution.

Consider, we are all sinners.

Further, we can't help but be sinners. Our best works are as filthy rags. So we may as well not even try.

Salvation is by faith alone. Jesus died on the cross for our sins and always stands ready to forgive. So we can sin all we like and then just pray to our invisible imaginary fr... LORD AND SAVIOR and say "sorry about that" and the slate is continually wiped clean.

Therefore, there's no need for any "ex-gay" ministries or trying to "pray the gay away". Homosexuality is a sin like any other. Sin is inevitable. Sin is something we can do constantly and still attain salvation just with a simple prayer to wipe the slate clean.

The plan for gay Christian then could be:

1. Have lots of hot gay sex.
2. Pray.
3. Have more hot gay sex.
4. Pray.
5. Have even more hot gay sex.
6. Pray.
7. Repeat as much as desired.

No muss. No fuss. No need for self-loathing. No need for trying to change what you are. Just keep praying after you get done with all the intense [Censored for want of being able to post in Area 69] and the passionate [oh damn this needs to be censored] and rubbing your [nope not publishing this either] against his [this censored part goes on for a few sentences] and all that... mmmmmm ...what was I saying again? Blush

Oh yes, I was praying to Lord Jesus to forgive me for calling him an "invisible imaginary friend".

See? It never happened. The slate's been wiped clean.

Praise the sweet name of Jesus!

I hate to spoil you your idea, but you're late to the game, Catholicism has already been invented...
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#8
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
(December 5, 2014 at 5:11 pm)Alex K Wrote: I hate to spoil you your idea, but you're late to the game, Catholicism has already been invented...

Catholicism: You can do anything you want as long as you tell the guy in the booth.

Protestantism: You can do anything you want as long as you tell your imaginary fri... LORD AND SAVIOR
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church

™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to. 

And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:  Wink
Reply
#9
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
A little OP relevant Emo Phillips
[youtube]qegPkqs6rFw[/youtube]
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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#10
RE: Thoughts on gays and sin
Is saying you are sorry and then re doing the act actually mean you were truely sorry?

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