Weird things theists have told you

[KevinM1]

Coworker took a nap in her car. God sent her a breeze to wake her up in time to get back to work before she'd have been late.

Hallelujah!

[The Valkyrie]

When I was a student at UNH, I had other students help me get from class to class (mainly just to open doors, press elevator buttons, that sort of thing). One of them was an incredibly religious young woman. She was sweet, but 100% brainwashed. She was engaged, but had never even held hands with the guy she was supposed to marry. They never kissed, nothing. She was absolutely convinced that even the slightest physical expression of their love would lead to them molesting each other then and there, which would be a huge sin and preclude them from having a happy, holy marriage.

My reaction was a befuddled, "...are you fucking kidding me?"

See, I don't see the point in saving yourself.

You need to test drive before a serious, long term commitment.

What if you're not compatible?
What if the tension causes frustration that one can't handle?
What if he's hung like a parrot?

[KevinM1]

When I was a student at UNH, I had other students help me get from class to class (mainly just to open doors, press elevator buttons, that sort of thing). One of them was an incredibly religious young woman. She was sweet, but 100% brainwashed. She was engaged, but had never even held hands with the guy she was supposed to marry. They never kissed, nothing. She was absolutely convinced that even the slightest physical expression of their love would lead to them molesting each other then and there, which would be a huge sin and preclude them from having a happy, holy marriage.

My reaction was a befuddled, "...are you fucking kidding me?"

See, I don't see the point in saving yourself.

You need to test drive before a serious, long term commitment.

What if you're not compatible?
What if the tension causes frustration that one can't handle?
What if he's hung like a parrot?

My thoughts exactly. Sexual incompatibility is a thing. Moreover, just spending time living with each other before getting married is invaluable. What if the other person is actually a dickhead when not in date mode?

[Nope]

Becca's tithing reminds me of something one of the speakers at my old church in Iowa said.

The young missionary bragged that her parents always tithed even though they had little money. Once, she said, after paying their ten percent her parents didn't have money for children shoes but god moved someone to leave a bag of shoes outside their door. She said that this proved god took care of the needs of those who tithed. All I could think was how selfish her parents were to put the church before the needs of their family. There are people who really can't afford necessities for their children but they didn't get those shoes because her parents had a choice between tithing and buying shoes so they gave the money to the church. On purpose, they made themselves more needy then they needed to be.

[robvalue]

It's a sick exploitation of the desperate. It's like the national lottery, except the prizes are in your imagination.

It is totally messed up to put a cult before your own children, they should be ashamed.

[The Valkyrie]

Becca's tithing reminds me of something one of the speakers at my old church in Iowa said.

The young missionary bragged that her parents always tithed even though they had little money. Once, she said, after paying their ten percent her parents didn't have money for children shoes but god moved someone to leave a bag of shoes outside their door. She said that this proved god took care of the needs of those who tithed. All I could think was how selfish her parents were to put the church before the needs of their family. There are people who really can't afford necessities for their children but they didn't get those shoes because her parents had a choice between tithing and buying shoes so they gave the money to the church. On purpose, they made themselves more needy then they needed to be.

And it's always the desperate, the needy, and the poor that the mega-churches and the evangelicals target.

[Strider]

When I was a student at UNH, I had other students help me get from class to class (mainly just to open doors, press elevator buttons, that sort of thing). One of them was an incredibly religious young woman. She was sweet, but 100% brainwashed. She was engaged, but had never even held hands with the guy she was supposed to marry. They never kissed, nothing. She was absolutely convinced that even the slightest physical expression of their love would lead to them molesting each other then and there, which would be a huge sin and preclude them from having a happy, holy marriage.

My reaction was a befuddled, "...are you fucking kidding me?"

I can't understand that. I mean, if someone wants to wait until marriage to have sex, that's fine if the person wants to wait for whatever reason. But, damn, if you don't even kiss then how the hell do you know if there is even any chemistry there? I'm guessing the guy was about the same in his beliefs. What a shame. I foresee a whole lot of boring missionary style in their future. Sad.

The girl I mentioned in my original post was somewhat similar to the one you described. She had kissed, but had never done anything sexual. She was incredibly repressed. It didn't take long for me to figure out that she wanted nothing more than to let her freak flag fly, but that wouldn't have been Christian and lord Jeebus wouldn't have approved.

[Dystopia]

Only people with high spiritual awareness and skills are able to feel the presence of supernatural beings like god, spirits and ghosts, the same goes for having visions, precognitions and any other spiritual feelings that only the chosen ones possess - Highly elitist theist phrase, this is something a female friend said to me - Not from a Christian but from a "spiritual" person

[Kitty Galore]

I hated it when they played that song.

Has a nice rhythm though.

Yes! I actually liked the song... til she ruined it for me.

[KevinM1]

When I was a student at UNH, I had other students help me get from class to class (mainly just to open doors, press elevator buttons, that sort of thing). One of them was an incredibly religious young woman. She was sweet, but 100% brainwashed. She was engaged, but had never even held hands with the guy she was supposed to marry. They never kissed, nothing. She was absolutely convinced that even the slightest physical expression of their love would lead to them molesting each other then and there, which would be a huge sin and preclude them from having a happy, holy marriage.

My reaction was a befuddled, "...are you fucking kidding me?"

I can't understand that. I mean, if someone wants to wait until marriage to have sex, that's fine if the person wants to wait for whatever reason. But, damn, if you don't even kiss then how the hell do you know if there is even any chemistry there? I'm guessing the guy was about the same in his beliefs. What a shame. I foresee a whole lot of boring missionary style in their future. Sad.

The girl I mentioned in my original post was somewhat similar to the one you described. She had kissed, but had never done anything sexual. She was incredibly repressed. It didn't take long for me to figure out that she wanted nothing more than to let her freak flag fly, but that wouldn't have been Christian and lord Jeebus wouldn't have approved.

Yeah, they both went to the same church. I think that's how they met, actually. It was just completely baffling.