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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet

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Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
JesusHChrist Offline
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#1
Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 2:54 pm (This post was last modified: February 16, 2015 at 2:59 pm by JesusHChrist.)
Guys and gals,

Found this awesome video on how to torture and destroy demons with techniques you have probably NOT HEARD OF YET.

For example: take off their jewelry (didn't think of that!), cut off their left hand, put out their left eye, send angels after them..., and so on.

At first I thought surely, SURELY, this must be a parody, but it seems to be all too real. Somebody please tell me this is a parody.

Folks, these people walk among us. Just when I think the floor has been reached, nope! New floor!

Be blessed in Jeebus' name amen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eZPtfRi1tc
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Norman Humann Away
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#2
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heart Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:01 pm
I couldn't focus on what he was saying because I was staring at the headset.
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Jackalope Offline
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#3
Tongue 
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:04 pm (This post was last modified: February 16, 2015 at 3:14 pm by Jackalope.)
Yeah, you can send angels after demons in precisely the same way as unicorns after dragons.
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JesusHChrist Offline
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#4
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:04 pm
You better listen up if you want to torture demons. The headset is Sat-in trying to distract you.

He knows you have power to torture his demons!
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Chad32 Offline
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#5
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:06 pm
Demons are weak enough that just speaking Jesus' name will drive them away, but strong enough to cause the world to fall to ruin and send most of the Humans to oblivion. Seems like Yahweh is lazy to allow such evils to do so much.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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JesusHChrist Offline
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#6
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:07 pm
I still have a suspicion this is a Poe, but if so, it's kept under wraps.
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Nine Offline
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#7
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:09 pm
"and another reason why I title it that is because I made them up."

Yep..
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JesusHChrist Offline
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#8
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:11 pm
(February 16, 2015 at 3:09 pm)Nine Wrote: "and another reason why I title it that is because I made them up."

Yep..

Good catch.

"When I see a demon leaning up against a fence..."

He's very dead pan in the delivery. I couldn't do it.
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Norman Humann Away
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#9
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:13 pm
(February 16, 2015 at 3:07 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: I still have a suspicion this is a Poe, but if so, it's kept under wraps.

That would explain the headset.
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Lucanus Offline
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#10
RE: Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet
February 16, 2015 at 3:59 pm
This reminds me a lot of that (in)famous FSTDT quote:
"Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well..."
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.

Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.

Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.

Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.

Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Three Ways to Torture Demons You Haven't Heard of Yet

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