Quick pet peeve

[Exian]

When I hear pedophile, I automatically assume they've been caught and charged. I've never really given much thought to how many known pedophiles there are who haven't committed the crime of pedophilia. I guess there must be support groups?

Jeez, man, that's really a tough nut to crack. I don't want to have sympathy for them, but that puts me in the same boat as theists condemning homosexuality. It's genetic, but they don't have the right to pursue their happiness the way heterosexuals and the LGBT community do; I guess you don't get much worse hands delt to you, but damn it's hard to feel bad. And something scares me about letting known pedophiles who haven't committed the crime be free; you see how well abstinence works for priests.

I don't see attitudes changing on pedophilia any time soon, but who knows? Maybe this will be the frontier that defeats me in my old age that'll have the young ones calling me a grumpy conservative nutcase.

Will it be dropped from the psychiatric disorder list the same way homosexuality has?

[robvalue]

I think it is ridiculous to call it a psychiatric disorder. Unless by "disorder" they mean "different from most people". It's a different mode of sexual attraction, calling it a disorder seems like a lot of baggage to attach.

Of course, I'm 100% against child pornography and child abuse, hopefully that goes without saying. But it's an entirely different subject to who is and isn't a paedophile.

I feel pretty confident that there are paedeophiles out there who have never acted in any harmful way on their urges. They are the ones I feel the most sorry for. Not least because almost no one would be understanding about it if they were open.

For those who have committed crimes, I hate them for having done so, but I also feel sorry for them that they have urges that are not their fault which have virtually no legal way to be satisfied. Again, crimes and genetic dispositions are two separate subjects and I can evaluate people on those two things separately.

I think it's such a taboo that it's really hard to start a sensible conversation about it, because people go straight to crazy if you dare "defend" a paedophile, without bothering to ask what this paedophile has done, if anything.

[Norman Humann]

Except, it's a paraphilia, an actual disorder that causes intense distress. It's hardly comparable to a sexual orientation.

Pedophilia is termed pedophilic disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), and the manual defines it as a paraphilia in which adults or adolescents 16 years of age or older have intense and recurrent sexual urges towards and fantasies about prepubescent children that they have either acted on or which cause them distress or interpersonal difficulty.

And not necessarily genetic.

Although what causes pedophilia is not yet known, beginning in 2002, researchers began reporting a series of findings linking pedophilia with brain structure and function. Testing individuals from a variety of referral sources inside and outside the criminal justice system as well as controls, these studies found associations between pedophilia and lower IQs, poorer scores on memory tests, greater rates of non-right-handedness, greater rate of school grade failure over and above the IQ differences, lesser physical height, greater probability of having suffered childhood head injuries resulting in unconsciousness, and several differences in MRI-detected brain structures.

Unfortunately, besides psychotherapy, there is no treatment. And seeing how not all pedophiles are child abusers, the social stigma combined with the distress coming from the disorder itself must be absolutely terrible.

[robvalue]

OK, so you're saying you might not necessarily be "born that way" but that events in your life could lead to the condition? Maybe I am confused on that point. I thought it was as simple as being born homosexual. I admit I haven't looked into that very much so I've now made myself look very stupid

My overall point is still valid as, like you say, there is nothing that can be done about it once you've got it (currently anyway, I've heard of suppressants and such but these seem very severe) . Whatever you call it, it's something you have to live with. And I personally think people should stop using "paedophile" to mean "child abuser". If they mean child abuser, they should say child abuser. Because if you use this equivocation, what word is left for a non-harmful paedophile? It's going to only hurt them more if we have to add in the fact that they are "non harmful" rather than assume it like you would if you were talking about anyone else.

I'm not criticizing anyone on the forum or what has been said here! I'm aiming this at society in general. I think understanding is very poor (as I've proved myself!) and attitudes need to change. People should be able to "come out" as a paedophile, if they want to, without people going nuts on them.

I'm an extremely logical person, so I don't tend to have irrational emotional reactions to things. If one of my friends told me they were a paedophile, I'd think no less of them at all. I'd want to support them. If they also told me they are abusing children, then obviously that is entirely different.

[robvalue]

I wanted to recommend a drama that was on British tv a little while ago, called "The Missing". It was about a boy who goes missing and his parents are desperately searching for him, it's over about 8 parts I think. It's really good.

I mention it because it has a really good character in it, what seems like a realistic portrayal of the miserable life of a paedophile trying to address his problem. It's about the only time I've seen one not cast as just a monster.

I gotta look into the causes more, seems like I made some bad assumptions.

[Norman Humann]

Nah, don't worry, Rob. I meant it when I said not necessarily, because from what I understood it isn't the exact cause, but with these things it's always multiple factors, so it's possible. It's just in my opinion, it's not exactly comparable to a sexual orientation, because it causes distress and interpersonal difficulties in the sufferer.

[Minimalist]

I'm a pedophile

I didn't even know you were a priest.

[Iroscato]

I also pity non-offending paedophiles to an extent, despite the mob-like desire to lynch them straight away that's been sort of drummed into me growing up in the UK. There needs to be more research into the causes and the treatments, and there has got to be a more frank and public discussion about it, because sweeping it under the carpet appears to result in them running the BBC, as we're slowly starting to find out

[Exian]

Nah, don't worry, Rob. I meant it when I said not necessarily, because from what I understood it isn't the exact cause, but with these things it's always multiple factors, so it's possible. It's just in my opinion, it's not exactly comparable to a sexual orientation, because it causes distress and interpersonal difficulties in the sufferer.

I think gay people can experience distress and interpersonal difficulties, but that's more of a societal issue, and noticing and feeling negatively about their differences; not directly caused by their sexual preferences. Are there studies showing pedophilia directly causing these things? I wouldn't have a hard time believing that genetics plays a large part of pedophilia, seeing as we have sexually selected preferences for adult mates that retain younger qualities. Neoteny, I believe is the term.

[robvalue]

Yes, that's interesting. I mean, I can imagine having urges with no outlet is going to cause all kinds of problems. So it's a matter of distinguishing this from actual other direct effects.

There's another common misconception I've noticed, which is to equate paedophilia with attraction to any children under the age of consent (but older than say 12). This is ridiculous, because it would mean someone is a paedophile in one country and then suddenly isn't in the next. Obviously the age of consent is there for a good reason, but that's a moral issue, not a psychological one.