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Ex theists: what did you believe?
#31
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm)Polaris Wrote: Weren't most ex-theists just cultural theists who only called themselves theists because their family forced them to attend religious services?

And do you also imagine that little children don't really believe in Santa Claus when they are very little, who have been told that Santa was real, and whose parents even went to great lengths to try to get them to believe?  Why is it that so many of them cry when they find out the truth?

"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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#32
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm)Polaris Wrote: Weren't most ex-theists just cultural theists who only called themselves theists because their family forced them to attend religious services?

That's a rather broad assumption without any base in reality. Where does your "most" come from other than your ass? You simply can't know that.

As for me, you're about 50 percent right. I never gave a real shit. But I wasn't forced to go to church either. Once I was old enough to do some independent thinking, I found that the peices just don't add up.
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#33
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm)Polaris Wrote: Weren't most ex-theists just cultural theists who only called themselves theists because their family forced them to attend religious services?

I can only speak for myself. No, I was not a cultural Christian. Faith was an important part of my life.
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#34
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm)Polaris Wrote: Weren't most ex-theists just cultural theists who only called themselves theists because their family forced them to attend religious services?

Not true for me, I took it pretty seriously, to the extent that god was speaking to me personally

but then again, I was pretty mental then
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#35
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: I'm interested in hearing from those of you who have come out of religion. What would you list as your sincere beliefs while you were a theist? For example:

Did you really believe there was a god,


Yes.


(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: and if so, what did you feel you knew about him?


A full answer to that would take a lot of writing.  I was raised a Southern Baptist, and, as a child, I believed the typical things most Christians believe about God.


(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: Did you really think your holy book was divinely inspired?


Yes.  That actually helped lead me away from religion, because I took the book seriously and tried to make sense of it.  Since it is contradictory and silly, trying to make sense of it leads to thinking something must be amiss with it.  If I had not taken the book seriously, then its problems would not have mattered.  Of course, without something like the Bible, what reason is there to believe Christianity at all?


(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: Did you have experiences which you really thought were divine interactions?


Not really.  I, of course, had strong feelings about some things, and thought that maybe some of that had to do with God, but I was not sure.

I was not crazy and did not hear voices or anything like that.


(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: What else did you believe then that you don't now?


That is too broad of a question.  I believed most of the usual things that Southern Baptists tend to believe.  Such as, homosexuality is a sin, etc.  That one is interesting because being told not to engage in homosexual acts was kind of like telling me not to stick an ice pick in my eye.  I had no interest in doing that anyway, so I thought it was kind of a strange thing to make a big deal about.  I could not relate to a man even wanting to engage in sexual activity with another man.  (I probably thought that one must really hate God to do something like that just to upset God!)


(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: I hope it goes without saying I'm not intending to make fun of anyone, I'm genuinely interested. Having never been the slightest bit religious, I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have any of these kinds of beliefs.


Did your parents teach you to believe in Santa Claus?  If so, then you should have an idea of how it works.

In my case, my parents divorced, and I was raised by my mother.  Both of my parents, however, were quite religious.  But with my mother, she was reasonable about things generally, and, as far as I can remember, she did not ever lie to me.  For example, she told me that Santa Claus was basically anyone who gave people presents at Christmas.  She never tried to con me into believing that crap.  In kindergarten, I remember saying something about Santa not being real, and some of my classmates were really upset by that, so I learned to keep my mouth shut about nonsense that other people believed.  When my classmates eventually learned the truth about Santa and many cried over it, I thought that they had bad parents, who enjoyed lying to their children for their own amusement.  (It is for the parent's own amusement, because children like getting presents, and do not care much who gives them the presents.  Presents from mother are just as good as presents from some imaginary being.)  That they had bad parents, I still believe.  People who lie to their children, to feel superior to them, and to amuse themselves, are despicable.  The claim that it is for the benefit of the children is pure bullshit, that no one without rocks for brains believes.  If anyone seriously believes it benefits children, they are either thoughtless or stupid or both.

Although my mother was strict in a way, she always made me feel loved.  My home life was pretty good, and I had no reason to believe my mother would lie to me about religion or anything else.  Indeed, she did not lie to me about religion; she told me what she believed to be true.  That she was wrong only means that she made an honest mistake.  (She, too, had been raised to believe.)

I was taken to church every week, and prayers were said before dinner, thanking God for the food, etc.  So I was raised with religion being taken very seriously.

Basically, I was told about religion in the same way I was told about other things, only that religion, I was told, was particularly important.


So, as a child, why did you believe anything your parents told you, that you did not see immediately in front of you?  The answer to that should help you understand why someone raised to believe in religion would believe in religion.


(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: How did they make you feel?

Thank you Smile


That seems a strange question.  The beliefs, in themselves, did not make me feel anything.  Just like believing that I am presently typing at a keyboard.  I have a belief that that is what I am doing, but it would be strange to ask me how I feel about it.  It is just the way things are.

Eventually, though, as I was growing, I had problems with various things that I was taught.  So while still young, I thought that the Southern Baptist church I attended was wrong, but, of course, I was aware of the fact that there are quite a few other denominations (not to mention things other than Christianity), so thinking that the Southern Baptists, or, my particular church, was wrong about some things, did not show that religion was all bunk.  (Just in case you know nothing about Southern Baptists, the churches are only loosely connected, and only have a very tiny amount of beliefs that they must adhere to, in order to be Southern Baptists, so the individual churches can vary much more than some other religions, like, for example, Catholicism.)

I briefly thought of joining up with a Quaker church, and probably would have, if one had been closer; I was not yet old enough to drive when I was thinking about that.  But they did not address all of my problems with Christianity, so it would not have worked out anyway.  (But unlike Jimmy Carter, who did not leave the Southern Baptists until he was an old man, I disliked their sexism as a child, and that was one of the things that made the Quakers more attractive to me.  I am a man, by the way, so it isn't as if I were the victim of the sexism of the church.)

During my time of doubting things, I did not have anyone I could really talk with about this.  This was quite a few years ago, long before the internet.

Over the course of several years, my doubts increased more and more.  I read things about religion and philosophy to try to help figure things out.  It was the most important thing to me, because I had been taught to believe in heaven and hell, and wanted to make sure I got things right.  That wanting to be sure to be right got me to think long and hard about the issues involved.


Also, although I was taught that to question religion was wrong, that never made sense to me, because one can never prove the truth to be false.  It is false religions that it makes sense to tell its followers to not question things, because false religions might be proven to be false.  And, of course, most religions have to be wrong about some things, as they all disagree with each other.  At most, one religion could be right, and the rest are wrong about something, and maybe about everything.  So, thinking about that got me to question things and think carefully about it all, as I was highly motivated to get it right, and to not make a mistake about religion.

For the most part, my deconversion was from my own thinking about things.  The few times I had brief conversations with others had some impact, but it was mostly thinking about it for myself.  The nonbelievers I figured were trying to trick me (that is what Christians are typically taught), but the fact that no Christian ever had a sensible reason to believe was of more significance to me, though a few stupid Christians does not disprove Christianity.  And, of course, while still a believer, I prayed for guidance from God, guidance that, naturally, never came, because there is no God.  I was not stupid enough to let my feelings, and desire to believe, cloud my judgement too much on religious matters.


Eventually, I was an agnostic, and was unsure what to believe.  And then eventually I became a strong atheist.


The process of deconversion was painful and unpleasant in the extreme, but I am much happier now that I am an atheist.  I am quite comfortable with the idea of dying, and have no wish for immortality, which seems to bother quite a few other people.  I find Epicurus to be quite sensible on this point, and cannot relate to people who want to live forever.  Those who die no longer have to deal with all of the dumb-asses of the world, and that is a very good thing.  Thinking about that almost makes me want to off myself immediately.  Almost.


Anyway, believing in religion is like believing in anything else.  You are raised to believe various things about the world, and, when young, one is naïve and believes all sorts of things that one does not see for oneself.  For example, most people believe the world is roughly spherical, but they do not usually see it for themselves, or even have particular evidence of it for themselves.  (Photographs are pretty worthless as evidence; otherwise, one might believe that men can fly from watching Superman, or that dinosaurs currently roam the earth from Jurassic Park.)  Yet not having the evidence themselves, does not prevent them from having a strong belief about it.  In this example, of course, the belief is true (or maybe I am in on the conspiracy to fool you! Wink), but the point is that many truths are such that one does not have the evidence directly in front of one, and that does not prevent one from accepting it as truth.  Many of the things that most people believe are based on being told about them, not from doing experiments oneself or directly looking at the relevant evidence.

"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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#36
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
I was indoctrinated into Christianity as a child like most Americans.  At the  all knowing age of 7 i gave my devotion to Jesus.  At the time i was having a lot of problems understanding people and how to handle the conflicts which inevitably rose in my life.  In short, poeple scared me.  My hope was that by giving my will to God that i would have the inspiration to face these problems, not with my meager inadequit will but instead with the power of this all knowing all seeing deity.
As you can imagine that did not work so well.  If fact most/all of the people who i had trouble with where Christian.
I believed in what christianity taught me whole heartidly as it would be hypocriticle to do other wise.
At about 10 i started to get those "feelings" of sexuality.  that caused a lot of guilt due to the teachings.
I would often ask myself "what would Jesus do in this situation?" in many scenarios i would find myself in (ussualy confrontation with people).  It was almost always meet with negativity by people who claimed to be Christian.
in short i was looking for that divine feeling that would help me live in the confusing life that i found myself in.  Nothing came to me.
I went through several faiths and came to rely on none.
Now many things make  scence from a nonbelieving point of view.
I now don't believe that masterbation is bad.  I feel that guilt is a tool used by many especialy religion.  I think that spirituality is an iddividual thing and should remain that way. I believe that humaity can be great without  the trappings of a guilt ridden set of dogma.
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#37
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 26, 2015 at 1:13 pm)Neimenovic Wrote:
(April 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm)Polaris Wrote: Weren't most ex-theists just cultural theists who only called themselves theists because their family forced them to attend religious services?

Not true for me, I took it pretty seriously, to the extent that god was speaking to me personally

but then again, I was pretty mental then

I envy those atheists who didn't have to undergo a painful deconversion process
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#38
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 26, 2015 at 1:26 pm)Nope Wrote: I envy those atheists who didn't have to undergo a painful deconversion process

Ditto
I really envy those people who never believed in the first place
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#39
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
I was raised by a deeply Catholic mother, sent to private Catholic school from k-6 (7 years of my life!), church twice a week and everything.
I pretty much believed all of what I was taught (God, Trinity, prayer works, graces, etc) because I wasn't exposed to anything else until my tweens. When I was about 9 or 10, I really thought I might like to be a nun when I grew up, lol.
But I was still taught science and nothing utterly wacky like creationism.
When I was 9, my little brother was shot in the eye by a friend with a BB gun. His retina had detached, and the docs said he would probably lose sight in that eye. I'd never seen my mother and father so distressed. That night, I prayed so hard to God to save my brothers eye. I offered anything of myself. I couldn't sleep, I stayed up praying until sleep took me....by force. I had my first incident of sleep paralysis that night. I felt that I'd died, and I even saw my soul soar up out of my body. I was terrified, I didn't mean to takem y LIFE for my brothers eye! I soared around the house, chasing my mom and crying. Then I woke up. I went out and told her what had happened, I was so frightened and confused.

She actually explained to me that it runs in our family. All my aunts get terribly sleep paralysis during stressful times, so my mom was familiar with it. She told me it was just my brain falling asleep kind of backwards, and even gave me tips on how to handle it when I felt it coming on (relax into it, don't fight it). It was then, right then, that I think I first started questioning the things I believed. My mind had tricked me sooooo thoroughly.

So then, when I was 11, I went to a Christian summer camp. They accepted all Christian denominations, but it was run by 7th day Adventists. So THEY really pushed things like Noah's Ark and Adam and Eve being literally true. They also did a passion play the second summer I went, I think it was. That was disturbing to me at that age.

It brought up a lot of questions for me, and I started asking my mom and my priest. The thing is, I'd been taught that the stories in the bible were mostly parable, including Adam and Eve. My mom whole heartedly accepts evolution, as did the priests I spoke to. When I asked about people believing the bible to be true and maybe they were right?, they didn't really answer my questions well. When I asked how they know they are right, both of them talked about the pope and some shit about representing God on earth. When I had questions about how a human (the pope) could be considered infallible, I got a lot of answers that made no sense. Some of my questions of course were answered with some version of "God works in mysterious ways".

I stopped going to church when I was about 13. My mom actually stopped going about the same time. I still believed there must be some sort of God, but I discarded most of the dogma of the church I'd grown up in. I think I retained that vague belief in god for another 10 or 15 years, until I finally admitted to myself I was clinging to it for comfort and nothing else.


So to sum I, I believed in God, transubstantiation (at least a bit), prayer, saints, all the usual Catholic stuff. I never believed the Devil was a literal person/thing, or that most of the bible was true. I believed that Jesus story was real, and Moses, and the rest of the bible was parable. But only into my mid teens, when I pared my belief down to just jesus, God and prayer.

It is all so silly and embarrassing when I look back, but it isn't like I had a choice. None of us do with this stuff, do we?
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?” 
― Tom StoppardRosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
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#40
RE: Ex theists: what did you believe?
(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: I'm interested in hearing from those of you who have come out of religion. What would you list as your sincere beliefs while you were a theist? For example:

Did you really believe there was a god, and if so, what did you feel you knew about him?
Yes, I thought I knew he loved and protected me because Jesus loves the all little children of the world...learning of the Holocaust destroyed that view.
Quote:Did you really think your holy book was divinely inspired?
"Inspired?" Yes. Inerrant? No. Because a talking snake is just too stupid.
Quote:Did you have experiences which you really thought were divine interactions?
Not really in way dramatic way but yes, in the vague sense of He's always watching you and is everywhere.
Quote:What else did you believe then that you don't now?
I believe in ghosts, alien astronauts, conspiracy theories, demons, angels, all religions worship the same god, afterlives, Satanists are baby killers, miracles, Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil,  atheists are [insert stereotype], and the milkman conspiracy.
Quote:I hope it goes without saying I'm not intending to make fun of anyone, I'm genuinely interested. Having never been the slightest bit religious, I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have any of these kinds of beliefs. How did they make you feel?
You're lucky. It's like someone killed my best friend.
It is very important not to mistake hemlock for parsley, but to believe or not believe in God is not important at all. - Denis Diderot

We are the United States of Amnesia, we learn nothing because we remember nothing. - Gore Vidal
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