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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 12:59 pm
I am not sure what it is. I remember my first reaction to "gay" was not a positive one. Might have been my upbringing or the fact that it seems to be a universal part of every boy's pre-adolescence/adolescence that calling someone "gay" was about the worst you could say to someone. Anything unmanly or not in line with what "boys" are supposed to do was considered gay. So it comes as no surprise that boys that live with this, combine it with religious "justification," and become men have an emotional reaction to homosexuality.
Fortunately, one of my best friends in high school was gay and was so confident and popular that no one dared make fun of him. He de-stigmatized everything about homsexuality for me. Also, I never bought into the whole religion thing. So it's not even a thing for me. I am fascinated with gay culture, and everything I know about gay people is reinforced by the LGBTQ community.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 2:46 pm
(May 18, 2015 at 10:36 am)Jenny A Wrote: (May 16, 2015 at 9:14 pm)Saxmoof Wrote: There does seem to be something about masculinity that makes people personally offended somehow by other peoples lack of it, in a way that i'm not sure exists between straight women and lesbians, i don't think it's entirely down to repressed gay urges
Good point. I've never been able to puzzle that out. Lesbians aren't threatening to me, but many men seem threatened by gay men.
Makes no more sense to me as a straight man. But then I remember a time of having those reactions as a young teen. But I questioned them. It was clear to me that this was plain ole prejudice and oppression. I've always had a good deal of empathy for gay men and women. As a stereo type, I think it is as often true that gay men are more articulate than straight ones, as it is, that Jewish women are more mensch-like than non-Jewish women. (They certainly dress better than I do, but I count that as one of their disadvantages.  )
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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 2:46 pm
I'm a tri-sexual because I'll tri-anything once. Hur hur hur hur! Hur!
Did anyone make that joke yet?
Try anything once huh. How about a flying fuck of a cliff? No?
Gay sex!
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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 2:51 pm
(This post was last modified: May 18, 2015 at 2:51 pm by Alex K.)
(May 18, 2015 at 2:46 pm)robvalue Wrote: I'm a tri-sexual because I'll tri-anything once. Hur hur hur hur! Hur!
Oh great, that's what the world needed, a dad joke with sexual innuendo.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 2:57 pm
What's the bottom line on wearing white after labor day?
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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 3:02 pm
(This post was last modified: May 18, 2015 at 3:05 pm by Regina.)
Its because our culture prides being masculine, especially for men. Any man who does anything to compromise that masculinity is seen as a waste. Thats why some straight men feel threatened when a gay is around. They worry we might influence them.
I think everyone, even gay people, go through a phase of hating everything "gay". Its just how society socialises us. It took me years to stop hating myself for being gay. Painful period in my life
"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the road, and then getting hit by an airplane" - sarcasm_only
"Ironically like the nativist far-Right, which despises multiculturalism, but benefits from its ideas of difference to scapegoat the other and to promote its own white identity politics; these postmodernists, leftists, feminists and liberals also use multiculturalism, to side with the oppressor, by demanding respect and tolerance for oppression characterised as 'difference', no matter how intolerable." - Maryam Namazie
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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 8:33 pm
Yeah that sounds about right
How could that change though? I can't imagine men not priding themselves on being masculine, seems like something innately male and as old as time
“The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you.” - George Carlin
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RE: Ask a gay
May 18, 2015 at 11:53 pm
(May 18, 2015 at 2:57 pm)Crossless1 Wrote: What's the bottom line on wearing white after labor day?
It is not a gay thing, but more a snobby fashion thing, so I have no idea.
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RE: Ask a gay
May 19, 2015 at 9:23 am
(This post was last modified: May 19, 2015 at 9:25 am by Regina.)
(May 18, 2015 at 8:33 pm)Saxmoof Wrote: Yeah that sounds about right
How could that change though? I can't imagine men not priding themselves on being masculine, seems like something innately male and as old as time It's not all men though. I know straight guys, some very masculine, who are comfortable with gays. It's because they're comfortable in their own sexuality.
Homophobes are always either gays who haven't accepted themselves yet or straight guys who are not comfortable in their straightness.
It's about attitudes. When public attitudes to gay (and trans) people get better, it should help kill this hypermasculinity culture. It's about not seeing femininity as a bad thing.
"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the road, and then getting hit by an airplane" - sarcasm_only
"Ironically like the nativist far-Right, which despises multiculturalism, but benefits from its ideas of difference to scapegoat the other and to promote its own white identity politics; these postmodernists, leftists, feminists and liberals also use multiculturalism, to side with the oppressor, by demanding respect and tolerance for oppression characterised as 'difference', no matter how intolerable." - Maryam Namazie
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RE: Ask a gay
May 19, 2015 at 10:53 am
(May 19, 2015 at 9:23 am)Yeauxleaux Wrote: (May 18, 2015 at 8:33 pm)Saxmoof Wrote: Yeah that sounds about right
How could that change though? I can't imagine men not priding themselves on being masculine, seems like something innately male and as old as time It's not all men though. I know straight guys, some very masculine, who are comfortable with gays. It's because they're comfortable in their own sexuality.
Homophobes are always either gays who haven't accepted themselves yet or straight guys who are not comfortable in their straightness.
It's about attitudes. When public attitudes to gay (and trans) people get better, it should help kill this hypermasculinity culture. It's about not seeing femininity as a bad thing.
I agree. I am a manly man and do not give a rat's ass if the guy sitting next to me on public transportation is gay or straight or bi or likes fucking his toaster. As long as he isn't doing it right there.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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