Heaven is full of tapeworms

[Brakeman]

Here is a funny SBC Cartoon that describes heaven.

Matthew 27:52
In this little known account we see that many people arose from the dead after Jesus was resurrected. There were “many bodies of the saints” who appeared to many others in Jerusalem. Now, if we have no bodies after death – what of this account?
Romans 12:1
“But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you”
Because Christ rose again in a physical body, so will we! It cannot be much more plain. Christ said we would likewise follow Him to be with God.
1 Corinthians 15:35-38
“But some [man] will say, How are the dead raised up? and with what body do they come?
[Thou] fool, that which thou sowest is not quickened, except it die:
And that which thou sowest, thou sowest not that body that shall be, but bare grain, it may chance of wheat, or of some other [grain]:
But God giveth it a body as it hath pleased him, and to every seed his own body.”
So, Jesus Himself refers to our ‘body’ when we are raised up. The ‘body’, soma, literally refers to the body we can see.
Verses 42-45
“So also [is] the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:
It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power:
It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.
And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam [was made] a quickening spirit.”
Do not be confused by these words. Our old bodies, the ones we die in, are corrupt so cannot enter Heaven. So, when we are resurrected by Christ, we will have new bodies, pure and undefiled.
http://www.christiandoctrine.com/christi...-in-heaven

Undefiled?

What does that mean? That our new bodies won't be raped?  I know the theist answers will be overflowing with "Sin" "Sin" "Sin!" but how does the tissue in our bodies sin apart from our mind?

[uniquepegasister]

It would make more sense that it means without scars age wrinkles tattoos ect. The whole body is a temple thing.

[brewer]

Not according to the deceived/delusional I converse with. They state that if the organism is not capable of the god conception they are not getting in.

Sorry, not reading the religious crap, gives me a headache.

[Whateverist]

Heaven doesn't have all the parasites though. There are plenty of them on Sunday morning television.

[uniquepegasister]

That doesn't seem logical at all but then again it's Christians your dealing with. Do they think they will be alive in the coming then? It is more likely the bodies will decompose so why doesn't one think a recreated body is appropriate?

[Brakeman]

Not according to the deceived/delusional I converse with. They state that if the organism is not capable of the god conception they are not getting in.

Sorry, not reading the religious crap, gives me a headache.

OOOh I like that.. So babies, toddlers, and the mentally handicapped don't get in! The bastards!

Each of my body's cells can't grasp a concept individually, only when working as a group, and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to understand god without other multicellular cooperation groups birthing and assisting me. Fuck.. So only my brain software is going to heaven? Why the crap would I care?

[brewer]

Not according to the deceived/delusional I converse with. They state that if the organism is not capable of the god conception they are not getting in.

Sorry, not reading the religious crap, gives me a headache.

OOOh I like that.. So babies, toddlers, and the mentally handicapped don't get in! The bastards!

Each of my body's cells can't grasp a concept individually, only when working as a group, and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to understand god without other multicellular cooperation groups birthing and assisting me. Fuck.. So only my brain software is going to heaven? Why the crap would I care?

HaHa. Taking it a little further than they would like. I'll have to bring up the baby POV and watch them back peddle. I'm sure that they'll say, well we had them baptized so they're covered. Mental conception by proxy!

[uniquepegasister]

But that leaves the unborn or still born children who didnt get a chance to be baptized

[brewer]

But that leaves the unborn or still born children who didnt get a chance to be baptized

If your not pooped out, it don't count.

[vorlon13]

You have to be a son of Adam, have a soul (implants with the first successful breath at the conclusion of gestation), and be one of the 'lucky' 144,000.

I'd advise most of you to not get your hopes up . . .