To spank or not to spank?

[Catholic_Lady]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know if they came up with that idea on their own, or from some sort of How to Discipline Your Kid book.

You should ask them for the source, especially seeing as you intend to emulate them. Did a single slap not quite get the message across? Is it 2 slaps of slightly less power instead of one almighty full force smacking? For more serious crimes do they increase it to 3 or 4? I'm also interested in the reasoning behind this sort of behaviour.

You may be thinking too much into it. They probably just thought it was a good, even number lol.

[brewer]

Sympathies. Isn't that always the way. We all have childhood psych scars. Yours from that behavior, mine from other parent behavior.

Thanks, and my sympathies to you as well.

Wait, I know. We'll get enough of our childhood abuse stories together and make a movie. Yeah, yeah! Now for a title, .................how about Breakfast Club?

[Pyrrho]

The hot sauce thing is disturbing to me

Agreed. And the soap. And the fact that Quill's bf is arguing for it. This makes me worry that he is actually an abusive bully.

Also be aware that you may end up giving your child fetishes later on in life if you only pay attention to them by disciplining them.

I remember reading about a study many years ago in which there was demonstrated a strong correlation between enjoying spanking and other violence in sex as an adult, and having been spanked a lot as a child.  I don't have a link, as I read this years before everyone had the internet, and I am too lazy to look for it now.  But it makes a lot of sense when one thinks about it, as one is giving attention to one's children through violence.

[TubbyTubby]

You may be thinking too much into it. They probably just thought it was a good, even number lol.

I just don't agree with it, that's all. It never leads to a good outcome as you can see from some of the stories here.

[KUSA]

I think the real harm is when you don't correct the bad behavior in a child. A red ass only lasts a brief time. Bad behavior can have life long consequences.

Which, interestingly, can be taught to be avoided without resorting to physical punishment

I use both positive and negative reinforcement.

As to the sparking being abuse, we will have to agree to disagree.

[The Grand Nudger]

I haven't seen any of you talk about the pleasure of picking out your own whooping stick.

That's charming, isn't it?  My grands like to tell the story about me dragging a log into the house, big shit eating grin, thinking I'd gotten over on them.  Nope, smacked with the fuckin thing. I wonder how that started...why it's such a common thing..picking your own switch?  My opinion on that whole business...as an occasional spanker, is that once you're using tools...it's become a fetish.

[Pyrrho]

I feel uncomfortable with with spanking for a few reasons

1  I don't like the idea of "do what I say or I'll hit you". I want my children to be able to question things.

2. It's too close to my favorite pastime. It grosses me out to have my kink associated with child rearing.

Let me guess:  You were spanked as a child.

Take a look at this (your post persuaded me to do a quick search):

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP79-CP-of...ington.pdf

Particularly Study 4 (starting on page 25), dealing with "CORPORAL PUNISHMENT AND MASOCHISTIC SEX BY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS."

If you want your children to enjoy violence as a part of their sex lives, spanking them increases the chances that that will happen.


You might also want to take a look at these links for other reasons not to spank (as well as looking at the other parts of the above link):

http://unh.edu/unhtoday/Murray-Straus

http://gauss.unh.edu/~mas2/CP67%20Childr...panked.pdf


You can easily disregard my advice if you want to, but I would advise you not to have children with someone who wants to spank them.

[Catholic_Lady]

As to the sparking being abuse, we will have to agree to disagree.

Some of it is/can be. 

But it doesn't mean it always is. I was spanked when I was a kid, but never felt like I was being abused and still don't feel that way about it now.

[The Grand Nudger]

Who -wants- to spank children......Pyrrho? I'm willing to put that down as step number two on my abuse quicklist. Ala-

"Do I wake up in the morning and think to myself...gee, I really hope I get to spank a child today".

The point at which a person can answer that in the affirmative is probably the point at which they need to stay the hand, whaddaya think?

[MTL]

Thank you for your empathy.

I hope it is clear that my goal was not to garner pity,

but to give my input, on what I view as the ramifications,
at least in part, of the effect that severe corporal punishment can have, in the long term,
from an adult perspective.

That was what I experienced.  Overly severe and misguided punishment.

My dad wasn't a drunk, it's not like he beat me with a wrench or molested me;
there are people who have had it much worse than me.

I'm just saying that it's yet another way that (religious) good intentions
may end up doing a lot more harm than good.

I know, and thank you for opening up and sharing your story. It's just any act of violence against a child breaks my heart. Sending you a truckload of cyber hugs right now

Thank you again...you're very sweet.