Feeling pretty gutted

[Lemonvariable72]

Here is a question, why are you letting her have power over you? I mean she is clearly a piece of shit and why should you give a fuck what a piece of shit thinks? I say let her rant and ignore her. Give a man rope, and he'll hang himself.

[MTL]

What major sacrifices?

Ach...that's an extremely personal bunch of details to get into.

I am helping my parents, and they are helping me.
We are all happy with this arrangement, and it makes sense on many levels,
and saves a lot of money and resources,
and we're all achieving our mutual objectives, much faster, this way.

The only problem is that my sister doesn't like it,
and I don't like that she is a busybody and won't give me or my parents any peace about it,
even though it takes nothing from her, is none of her business,
and even though I've tried so hard to get along with her.

That's what it boils down to.

[MTL]

Here is a question, why are you letting her have power over you? I mean she is clearly a piece of shit and why should you give a fuck what a piece of shit thinks? I say let her rant and ignore her. Give a man rope, and he'll hang himself.

The problem is the power she has over Mom.

Mom is the one who asked me to move home in the first place, so I could help her launch and run a business.

And it was Mom's idea to let me go to school for two years, whilst living here, in order to help me get back on my feet,
after I worked for free for them for years, and put the last of my savings into her business.

My parents want to see me prepared, by the time I leave home, again.

The problem is that in the meantime, my sister has given my parents a grandchild,
and is using it as leverage to get what she wants:

me out the house, NOW, simply because she doesn't like me,
even though my being here is none of her business and takes nothing from her.

She was also, repeatedly, given the chance to move home and help Mom with the business, herself,
and refused.

But she's happy to treat my parents' house like a vacation spot.

She just doesn't like me living in her vacation house.

[TheRocketSurgeon]

*sigh* Humans suck, sometimes.

[Kitty Galore]

Hugs from me too. Sorry, that had to hurt so much. I saw a comment from someone suggesting detachment. You can have to deal with someone but you can *sometimes* control how they affect you. It's hard, but I'm glad you came here to vent and get comfort. We are a great community for that.

[Lemonvariable72]

Here is a question, why are you letting her have power over you? I mean she is clearly a piece of shit and why should you give a fuck what a piece of shit thinks? I say let her rant and ignore her. Give a man rope, and he'll hang himself.

The problem is the power she has over Mom.

Mom is the one who asked me to move home in the first place, so I could help her launch and run a business.

And it was Mom's idea to let me go to school for two years, whilst living here, in order to help me get back on my feet,
after I worked for free for them for years, and put the last of my savings into her business.

My parents want to see me prepared, by the time I leave home, again.

The problem is that in the meantime, my sister has given my parents a grandchild,
and is using it as leverage to get what she wants:

me out the house, NOW, simply because she doesn't like me,
even though my being here is none of her business and takes nothing from her.

She was also, repeatedly, given the chance to move home and help Mom with the business, herself,
and refused.

But she's happy to treat my parents' house like a vacation spot.

She just doesn't like me living in her vacation house.

So she is so much a piece of shit she uses her own child as leverage? That's just fucking low. What I think you need to do is send a clear message saying " I am will not take your bullshit anymore! " also talk to your mother, have an adult and heart to heart conversation. Of course maybe you should not listen to me here, I'm the sort of asshole that might get violent in these situations.

[MTL]

Hugs from me too. Sorry, that had to hurt so much. I saw a comment from someone suggesting detachment. You can have to deal with someone but you can *sometimes* control how they affect you. It's hard, but I'm glad you came here to vent and get comfort. We are a great community for that.

*hugz* Thank you Kitty.  yes, everyone has been lovely and supportive.  It is really appreciated.

[MTL]

So she is so much a piece of shit she uses her own child as leverage? That's just fucking low. What I think you need to do is send a clear message saying " I am will not take your bullshit anymore! " also talk to your mother, have an adult and heart to heart conversation. Of course maybe you should not listen to me here, I'm the sort of asshole that might get violent in these situations.

Yep, she is that much of a piece of shit.  When I finally got mad, this weekend, and told her she was a piece of shit, she told me I was "abusive".

This is the same girl who had the chance to move home and help mom with the business,
but laughed in Mom's face;

but then issued Mom an Ultimatum:

"Get rid of MTL or you and I are finished. "

How is it her place to object to Mom getting help from me,
after she turned Mom down?!

And not caring that Mom had been working toward this dream for 15 years, and had invested everything in it,
and had no-one to help her, but me....if I left, mom was screwed. She'd lose the house.

YET my sister claims that SHE is the one "looking out for my parents" and defending them against big bad MTL,
who will "take advantage of them".

Even though I only agreed to three years, maximum, but stuck around through 6 years of difficulties,
paid them room & board, did the work of four people or more, for FREE, for 2 years,
AND put the last of my savings into the business....

....while my sister contributed:  ZERO.

In fact she only came home to use their house as a vacation house, and always left a mess behind herself.

And this is AFTER I spent two years caring for a boyfriend who was sick,
when I wanted to break up with him after 6 months of dating,
because he had no-one else to help him,

and at the same point in time, my sister was living RENT-FREE,
FOR THREE YEARS,
IN DOWNTOWN TORONTO
at the house of her boyfriend's grandfather...a man who owed her NOTHING...when she was capable of supporting herself,
and she complained about his house the whole time,
and I was the one who had to suggest she buy the old man a Thank You gift, when she left.

....yet she ridiculed me for caring for a guy whom I owed nothing.

Oh you have no idea what a piece of shit she is.

YET I HAVE BEEN NICE TO HER AND TRIED TO BEFRIEND HER.

[TheRocketSurgeon]

MTL, I think you need to read this article.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-condi...n-20027920

Antisocial personality disorder signs and symptoms may include:

Disregard for right and wrong
Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or for sheer personal pleasure
Intense egocentrism, sense of superiority and exhibitionism
Recurring difficulties with the law
Repeatedly violating the rights of others by the use of intimidation, dishonesty and misrepresentation
Child abuse or neglect
Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, impulsiveness, aggression or violence
Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behaviors
Poor or abusive relationships
Irresponsible work behavior
Failure to learn from the negative consequences of behavior

[MTL]

MTL, I think you need to read this article.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-condi...n-20027920

Thanks for the link, Rocket.

I do think my sister has some sort of issue;
but she doesn't fit that particular description to a T.

and most of her negative behaviour, as far as I'm aware,
is only toward me.

I HAVE noticed that some of her friends....and all of her boyfriends...seem to be people who tend to use HER;

and I have noticed that she, my mother, my grandmother, and my aunt (my mother's mother and older sister)
are all very much alike, insofar as they only seem to understand relationships in a "hierarchy" format,
where there is a social ladder or "pecking order".

The concept of "mutual respect" seems to evade them.