A Poem I wrote

[Heat]

So this is a poem I wrote in bed at like 2 AM over the summer. I couldn't stop thinking so I decided to just put it in the words, got an idea to make a poem, and went with it. It took me a total of like 5 minutes. I'm posting this because I still really like it and have no other place to post it, and.. yeah.. maybe someone else will find that they share the same thoughts. I would normally feel embarrassed at this type of thing, but then I realized, the worst that can happen is someone doesn't like it. I can live with that. Oh i forgot to mention this was my fist poem I've ever wrote, I quite enjoyed reading it the day after, let me know if maybe I should start writing some more of these.  

I look up and the starry night I can see

When I leave earth what will be left of me?

In all the books, we're told earth is our destiny,

Yet I can't help but wonder what lies in the galaxies.

How will I stand out as an individual human being?

Will I act on creativity and ideas exempt from fear of completing?

How shall I live unconcerned with others conceding?

What is life without ever taking a beating,

For fear of public recognition is only self-defeating

What is the purpose, if never looking for deeper meaning.

So alas, I look up at the night sky and must ponder the stars

For every hardship I face, I am reminded who we are

A product of evolution, and we've come so far

What only concerns myself will keep me barred

So when I die I know impact was made, if I could manage to change the stars.

[bennyboy]

It took me more minutes to decide whether to reply to your poem than it took you to write it. Maybe I should just leave that as the reply.

[Heat]

It took me more minutes to decide whether to reply to your poem than it took you to write it.  Maybe I should just leave that as the reply.

To be fair, I didn't just sit down and write this out of no where, all of this was swirling around in my mind beforehand I just decided to write it down and also try something new at the same time.

[robvalue]

I like it

[bennyboy]

It took me more minutes to decide whether to reply to your poem than it took you to write it.  Maybe I should just leave that as the reply.

To be fair, I didn't just sit down and write this out of no where, all of this was swirling around in my mind beforehand I just decided to write it down and also try something new at the same time.

Since you're trying something new, I suggest rapping it and posting a Youtube vid.

[Brian37]

There is a poetry thread somewhere on this site. Good to put your stuff out there.

[Aoi Magi]

NOOO don't change the stars!!! How are we to navigate if you change 'em? They are Gawd's GPS damnit

[Edwardo Piet]

I liked that poem, great for a first poem.

I only ever wrote one poem and then I gave up because it sucked and was cryptic bullshit. It's supposed to be some kind of metaphor about a lizard in the desert digging a hole in the sand, half way through it's life as time ticks on. It's more of an image than a metaphor. Fuck knows what it's supposed to represent and this image of it I describe is vastly larger than the bullshit poem I wrote. The poem is only six words. It just came to me on the night, it's bullshit I dunno I just felt like writing it down on twitter once.

Anyway here it is, the cryptic bullshit poem that I don't even understand myself that came to me years ago when I wasn't very well:

Sand lizard - half gone - clockwork sun.

Fuck knows what that is supposed to mean... I call B.S.

[Heat]

I liked that poem, great for a first poem.

I only ever wrote one poem and then I gave up because it sucked and was cryptic bullshit. It's supposed to be some kind of metaphor about a lizard in the desert digging a hole in the sand, half way through it's life as time ticks on. It's more of an image than a metaphor. Fuck knows what it's supposed to represent and this image of it I describe is vastly larger than the bullshit poem I wrote. The poem is only six words. It just came to me on the night, it's bullshit I dunno I just felt like writing it down on twitter once.

Anyway here it is, the cryptic bullshit poem that I don't even understand myself that came to me years ago when I wasn't very well:

Sand lizard - half gone - clockwork sun.

Fuck knows what that is supposed to mean... I call B.S.

My interpretation of your poem is this:

It's a metaphor for the life cycle.

Sand Lizard, Half eaten, nobody cares, the sun rises and it falls like clockwork, that lizard gets up every day and struggles for food. It relies on the sun, and it could die by the sun, but the sun will never die by it, the sun will keep working like clockwork as if programmed, if the lizard died, no one would notice. The sun would still rise the next day.

[Athene]

That was very good, especially considering that you haven't really written any poetry before.  My only suggestion is to be less concerned with rhyming. Sometimes it can be distracting and disrupt the flow...it's all about the flow.