I lost my heart today.

[robvalue]

I'm so sorry to hear that I can't imagine how painful that must have been for you, I hope you will be OK

[pocaracas]

You were there when it happened. You'd never forgive yourself, had you not been there.
Life sucks, sometimes... Make every moment count. Cherish the memories of your friends.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

[Losty]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[Excited Penguin]

You have my heartfelt support.

[Mudhammam]

Thank you for the kind thoughts everyone. It's much appreciated, and I thank you letting me unburden this raw emotion on you here. I awoke this morning, just feeling numb, trying to understand where life goes from here for me. It is one of those horrible moments in which you know that for the rest of your life you will always view it as "before" and "after" that day. One thing I know for sure, is that I will take the lesson Trevor - that was his actual name - taught me and everyone else who had the privilege of knowing him: he reminded me every day to count my blessings, and to take nothing for granted. I've always known that life is short. He also showed me how very hard it is, not just as something I could grasp intellectually but something I watched him endure and struggle with every day. Most importantly, he taught me that life is also largely what you make it. Despite his limitations, he was one of the most cheerful, optimistic, sweet, thoughtful persons I have known.

I just can't even imagine what his parents are feeling right now. 

[Dystopia]

We never really know how short each of our lives may be - It's impossible to predict the future, and aside from realistic statistics we can never be truly certain on how we will end up dying, we can only that we will die someday.

I lost my dad when I was only 15 years old, something that is not statistically that common - It was heartbreaking and it still is, it was probably the saddest emotion and feeling I've ever come to experience, and it will probably only be surpassed the day my mother dies.

Life is not fair, I hope you can cope with your loss, we all have to do it even if it's complicated and devastating initially. Whether or not there is scientific basis, I've found that thinking about the best characteristics of passed away loved ones is the best way to cope with their death, at least to me. So when I think of my dad, I avoid thinking of how terrible it was to lose him, I just think of how he was a successful businessman who spoke 6 languages and traveled around the world until the day he died. I think of how good a comedian he was and all the dirty funny jokes he used to tell me when I was 6 years old without mom knowing. I recall how he dressed in a suit with a blue stripped tie so often, how he shaved every morning and enjoyed a cigar every Sunday afternoon.

I hope my words can at least slightly help you. Cheers

[Faith No More]

Thank you for the kind thoughts everyone. It's much appreciated, and I thank you letting me unburden this raw emotion on you here. I awoke this morning, just feeling numb, trying to understand where life goes from here for me. It is one of those horrible moments in which you know that for the rest of your life you will always view it as "before" and "after" that day. One thing I know for sure, is that I will take the lesson Trevor - that was his actual name - taught me and everyone else who had the privilege of knowing him: he reminded me every day to count my blessings, and to take nothing for granted. I've always known that life is short. He also showed me how very hard it is, not just as something I could grasp intellectually but something I watched him endure and struggle with every day. Most importantly, he taught me that life is also largely what you make it. Despite his limitations, he was one of the most cheerful, optimistic, sweet, thoughtful persons I have known.

I just can't even imagine what his parents are feeling right now. 

I lost my best friend, too, and he was 23 when he died. He was the most amazing person I'd ever met, so I know what you're feeling right now. One thing that helped me through it was reminding myself that even though I felt tremendous pain from losing him, enduring that pain was worth it to have known him in life. I think the hardest part about it, though, was watching the world go on as normal. My whole world had stopped, and the world moved on as if his death didn't even register. I'm sorry you have to experience all of this.

It know it's a trite cliche, but it really does get better with time. You just need to let yourself grieve, and don't bottle up what's inside. If you need someone to lend a friendly ear, I'm always open for a PM.

[Crossless2.0]

Sad news, Nestor. I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there!

[The Grand Nudger]

Looks like you have two lives worth to cash in on now.  I'm sorry for your loss, and the loss of your friend.  Remember to smile when you feel like crying.

[Kingpin]

Today is a very sad day for me. A while back, I made this post about a person very dear to me, whom I called "Lucas." A couple of weeks ago he was hospitalized because he was having trouble breathing. It turned out that he had pneumonia, and was put on a ventilator. He seemed to be getting better after a few nights and they sent him home. A couple of days later, the same thing occurred. This time while in the hospital he went into cardiac arrest and his parents were less optimistic. As I explained in the past post, his life expectancy with the disease he has isn't great. However, things took a turn for the better, and once again, and he was taken off the ventilator. This was on Monday. Everyone thought he would be coming home by the end of the week. His sister, who is a nurse, believed he had a good 2 years left.

Well, last night I received a phone call around 4:30 am from his sister, saying that he had choked again and things weren't looking good. I contacted his dad about three hours ago, and was told that he had entered hospice care and wouldn't make it through the night. I was at school, about to go to class, so I told my teacher that after the test I would have to leave. I got to the hospital... It was horrible. His mother, father, his two older sisters, and his best friend Justin were gathered around his bedside, in tears. Two minutes after I sat down and they told him "Sean is here," he died. His sister said he had been waiting for me. As I said before, he is like my little brother. There are no words. He was only 20 years old... so I never did get to take him to that titty bar. 

I just got home about 45 minutes ago, and I can't really wrap my head around this yet. Before the first hospitalization, everything seemed relatively fine... just.. fucking sucks.

Rest in peace my friend.

Man Nestor, I'm so sorry. 

So tough to lose someone close you like that.  i hope you can find a little solace in being able to see him and say goodbye even if it was in such a poor condition.  The fact he was holding on to life to see speaks volumes about you as a person and a friend.  Clearly you meant a lot to him also.  May he be in peace and you as well friend.