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How's Everyone Feeling Right Meow?
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 (October 30, 2016 at 4:53 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: Experiencing cognitive dissonance from a paradigm shift/mild identify crisis. I get these sometimes. I'm sure I'll be fine soon. I hope you will be Ok, my daughter suffered with it for years, she came out the other side, a long hard road for her. 
I'm calming down a little. Getting some food.
Fuck you mental rules, fuck you.
Okay I think I'm having a small anxiety attack of social anxiety + O.C.D... I'll be okay though. Just my brain is at war with itself and I need someone to talk to so my thoughts shut the fuck up and stop going to war.
I didn't know you had O.C.D. I've got it too and panic disorder. Fun times.
RE: How's Everyone Feeling Right Meow?
October 30, 2016 at 5:49 pm
(This post was last modified: October 30, 2016 at 5:50 pm by Edwardo Piet.)
Not diagnosed but had meds prescribed for it by my psych.
He never really diagnosed me with anything... he said he didn't like labels. Meanwhile I'm here with the cognitive dissonance of not knowing what is wrong with me. I don't think I have O.C.D... people just say that when they have O.C symptoms coloquially. I think i have Aspergers Syndrome and coming out of my comfort zone and going against my Aspie mental rules causes me cognitive dissonance. I think I am very obsessive and compulsive but without the disorder per se... If I don't have AS then I'd say it definitely is O.C.D. It's one of the two I think.... it seems too atypical and too like an Aspie's mental rules and frustration with themselves when coming out of their comfort zone... and not like your typical O.C.D. symptoms, for it to be O.C.D. though. It's all entirely about my own internal mental rules and rituals and about who I am as a person... I don't really have any obsessions that I feel compelled to relieve temporarily with compulsions per say... I just feel anxious out of the comfort zone of my mental rules... when they change I feel so much anxiety and it's happening now. I feel compelled to have mental rules. Without them I feel depressed. When I change them I feel the anxiety of changing them and worrying that I'll be without them. When I have them again I feel better for the longer they remain in place.... so ideally I would keep the same ones forever. But if something occurs in life that makes me feel like my mental rules and insufficent or not enough to make me cope they suddenly stop comforting me and make me feel empty and depressed so that's when I panic and have to change them like now.
I would definitely talk to another doctor, if you're comfortable with that.
I didn't sleep much at all last night, tonight isn't looking so great either.
I'm feeling stanky.
Salads make me gassy.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Feeling very anxious still today. And a little sad.
But I also feel more quietly confident deep down and I feel like my happiness will return relatively soon... when my mental rules resolve. It's so fucking painful my brain feels like it's twisting and this is the worst possible time for my mom to bug me. |
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