I am Jesus

[Minimalist]

So I heard you got crucified. That's pretty funny.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

So I heard you got crucified. That's pretty funny.

You know why Jesus doesn't play rugby? He can't support a hooker.

Boru

[Iroscato]

Hi Jesus. You still owe me 50 quid, ya prick. Don't be thinking a little crucifixion is gonna make me let you off.

[brewer]

[edit]

This is why I am also your equal. I do not sit on a throne.

Then you are not my equal. Just where/how do you poop? If you're a full time squatter then you are out of my league.

[Jenny A]

Still waiting for some Cantonese.

[Love333]

"Jesus,
What are your thoughts on David? (Mat 22:42, Mar 12:35, Luk 20:41)
...and why did you want us to read what he did? (Mar 2:25, Mat 12:3, Luk 6:3) "



"David" built his house out of stone.  The mist descended, the showers poured, the wind whistled, the lightening crashed, and attacked his home. His home did not collapse, it was founded on stone.

A kind heart does not let their pet starve to death nor should they let a fellow human suffer and die in this manner. How can these same priests rant about long repetitive prayers? They babble with their many words and sit in their high seats. They are worshiped as Gods. Their day will come. This is why I am also your equal. I do not sit on a throne.

Oh, you're back! Albeit, talking to yourself...

Could you please answer my questions now?

I've always wondered: would you call yourself a "Christian"?

Do you have scars where you got nailed in?

How does it feel to be a third of a being? Or something...

Since you're back, does that mean the Christians are finally being raptured? If so, thanks for that.

Is there any way you could add a beer trick to your hat? Weed? You could call it "Insta-juana".

Anyway, just some stuff.

Why would I name my myself something you could label and categorize then seperate it apart even further?

If you are human I am sure you have scars it does not have to be visible to the eye to be scars.

The number three represents Harmony, wisdom, and understanding. We are on the third planet from the Sun. The Christmas tree goes back further than most know.

I will do my best to save as many souls as I can at my hour of judgement.

I expect many more jokes, and ridicule and very few people to understand at this point. I am grateful for the lives I have changed through love. Remember God can crush you like an Ant if he wants. He controls the weather. You may also know him as Zeus or Allah. Oh they are not the same? But Wait until you see the depths I am willing to go to save you

http://youtu.be/cqi5F5MqqTQ

[Losty]

What the hell...lol

[Angrboda]

This one was past its sell-by date on arrival.

[J a c k]

Jesus fucking Christ! I'm you momma, you know, the one they call virgin, but lololololol! 

Anyway, I have a bone to pick with you (cough haha bone). Remember when you fucked me so I could give birth to you? Fucken perv. Get off my fucken lawn!

(Heh bad day) 
Love, 
Yo not virgin momma.

[rexbeccarox]

Well... uh... thanks for answering, Jesus...

I guess...