I wish...

[chasm]

I accept why you feel that way chasm, still doesn't feel like a good thing, to wish someone dead, because it implies resentment and unfinished issues. My parents are major screwups, but I dont wish them dead, well, they are irrelevant to me. I get along with them, but as soon as they cross the line trying to tell me what to do, I just drop the hammer.

Anyways you have plenty of reasons to feel the way you do, but thinking that will only make YOU suffer, and it ain't worth it!

Nice to know you didn't read my last post.

I wish death on no one.

[LastPoet]

I accept why you feel that way chasm, still doesn't feel like a good thing, to wish someone dead, because it implies resentment and unfinished issues. My parents are major screwups, but I dont wish them dead, well, they are irrelevant to me. I get along with them, but as soon as they cross the line trying to tell me what to do, I just drop the hammer.

Anyways you have plenty of reasons to feel the way you do, but thinking that will only make YOU suffer, and it ain't worth it!

Nice to know you didn't read my last post.

I wish death on no one.

I did read your last post

But my point is, by your reasons its better for you to cut ties with them, I think.

[darkwolf176]

You're reasons seem justified to me.

[Spencer]

Everyone seems to want to know my reasons. They aren't easy to explain, but there is a lot of bitterness there. My dad was never home and my mom was always drunk when I was growing up, so it's probably resentment from that. It's also the fact that I don't like them as people. They have very bad personalities. I also think it's because they never helped me through my cancer, it was my aunt and uncle who did that. Recently, since I was about 17, my parents have tried to actively become a part of my life and I don't want them to be, because I've finally gotten away, and they won't leave me alone. I just don't like them at all.

A couple of you were saying it's not a good thing, and that's probably because they're my parents. I'm the kind of person that doesn't think blood ties have anything to do with me liking you or not. I don't think they're good people, and I don't want them in my life. I guess I should have worded it a little differently and said "out of my life" rather than "dead". I don't mean it literally. I wish death on no one. I would just rather have it so that it seemed like they died, and I could live in peace.

Understandable. When I was 17 I left home, moved 700 miles away, got an apartment with some friends and worked full time and finished high school. My mom came to "visit" me while i was living on my own. One week turned into months, and I had to ask her to leave. Ever since then our relationship hasn't been the same. She has been in California for the past 11 years or so and I have been in NC, the distance between us is fitting. However, recently she has made the decision to move out here, very soon. As disappointed as I was at the news, she asked me if I was happy she was coming, the voice inside my head said "Are you kidding me?" but the words i spoke we "of course". I had a very colorful childhood myself, some of which people would not believe, ok maybe not that strange, but definitely not picturesque! I understand you sentiments very well. Also, no mention of my dad because he died at a very young age, but my memories are fond ones.

[chasm]

I did read your last post

But my point is, by your reasons its better for you to cut ties with them, I think.

That little underwear waving thing is so cool!

I probably will cut ties with them, but it's pretty hard to do when we live in the same city. I'm moving to San Fran after I graduate so I think it'll be better then.

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

While I can easily understand a death wish on someone who has never really contributed something positive to my life, I don't think an actual death should be warrented, barring something truely heinous.

Everyone seems to want to know my reasons. They aren't easy to explain, but there is a lot of bitterness there. My dad was never home and my mom was always drunk when I was growing up, so it's probably resentment from that. It's also the fact that I don't like them as people. They have very bad personalities. I also think it's because they never helped me through my cancer, it was my aunt and uncle who did that. Recently, since I was about 17, my parents have tried to actively become a part of my life and I don't want them to be, because I've finally gotten away, and they won't leave me alone. I just don't like them at all.

A couple of you were saying it's not a good thing, and that's probably because they're my parents. I'm the kind of person that doesn't think blood ties have anything to do with me liking you or not. I don't think they're good people, and I don't want them in my life. I guess I should have worded it a little differently and said "out of my life" rather than "dead". I don't mean it literally. I wish death on no one. I would just rather have it so that it seemed like they died, and I could live in peace.

It's not a good thing to want anyone to die, but there's nothing wrong in my eyes of putting them out of your life on a permanent basis if they are such a powerfully negative influence on your life.
As a stranger on the internets, my advice can only really be taken seriously to a point, but personally, I would never completely cut ties with anyone in my family. Perhaps its because I never disliked anyone in my family that much but because they are your parents, I think it's important to always offer a place in your life in some manner or another.

That isn't to say that you should always have to take their shit, but that if they truely wanted you in their life, they should treat you with the kind of dignity and respect that mothers and fathers should have toward their child.
Since I don't know the specifics of your situation, if things are bad enough, I would definately get behind simply shutting them out of your life permanently and choosing to raise your own children (now or in the future) in a manner befitting the way parents should care for their child.

My ultimate point though is just to never make that kind of decision lightly.

[chasm]

While I can easily understand a death wish on someone who has never really contributed something positive to my life, I don't think an actual death should be warrented, barring something truely heinous.

Everyone seems to want to know my reasons. They aren't easy to explain, but there is a lot of bitterness there. My dad was never home and my mom was always drunk when I was growing up, so it's probably resentment from that. It's also the fact that I don't like them as people. They have very bad personalities. I also think it's because they never helped me through my cancer, it was my aunt and uncle who did that. Recently, since I was about 17, my parents have tried to actively become a part of my life and I don't want them to be, because I've finally gotten away, and they won't leave me alone. I just don't like them at all.

A couple of you were saying it's not a good thing, and that's probably because they're my parents. I'm the kind of person that doesn't think blood ties have anything to do with me liking you or not. I don't think they're good people, and I don't want them in my life. I guess I should have worded it a little differently and said "out of my life" rather than "dead". I don't mean it literally. I wish death on no one. I would just rather have it so that it seemed like they died, and I could live in peace.

It's not a good thing to want anyone to die, but there's nothing wrong in my eyes of putting them out of your life on a permanent basis if they are such a powerfully negative influence on your life.
As a stranger on the internets, my advice can only really be taken seriously to a point, but personally, I would never completely cut ties with anyone in my family. Perhaps its because I never disliked anyone in my family that much but because they are your parents, I think it's important to always offer a place in your life in some manner or another.

That isn't to say that you should always have to take their shit, but that if they truely wanted you in their life, they should treat you with the kind of dignity and respect that mothers and fathers should have toward their child.
Since I don't know the specifics of your situation, if things are bad enough, I would definately get behind simply shutting them out of your life permanently and choosing to raise your own children (now or in the future) in a manner befitting the way parents should care for their child.

My ultimate point though is just to never make that kind of decision lightly.

I'll never have children, because of my cancer, but I don't want children, anyway.

Your response seems to have been guided more by emotion than logic. And as the person I am, I don't understand emotion very well, so I don't understand where you're coming from.

If you have read my post carefully, I said I wish death on no one, and just want them to leave me alone. That being said, they won't, and I can't get a restraining order on them because they haven't done anything to harm me.

[Cego_Colher]

I just skimmed most of this and I just wanted to say that just because someone is related to you doesn't mean you have to love or even like them, it is okay if you hate them. I hate my father, sometimes I wish he would die. (I know you keep saying you wish death on no one.)

[chasm]

I just skimmed most of this and I just wanted to say that just because someone is related to you doesn't mean you have to love or even like them, it is okay if you hate them. I hate my father, sometimes I wish he would die. (I know you keep saying you wish death on no one.)

I know. I mean death in the figurative sense of the word. I just wish that it would feel like they DID die, so I can't be bothered by them anymore.

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

Your response seems to have been guided more by emotion than logic. And as the person I am, I don't understand emotion very well, so I don't understand where you're coming from.

Your statements regarding your parents aren't logical in and of themselves and thus didn't seem to require a logical answer. Clearly you care enough about your parents to care about the effect they have on you otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread because there is no cold, calculating method of a proper response to how to go about treating your parents based on your dislike of their involvement in your life.

Since you are human you understand emotion whether you conciously acknowledge it or not. Being apatheic, bitter, or enfuriated doesn't make you emotionally dead.

If you have read my post carefully, I said I wish death on no one, and just want them to leave me alone. That being said, they won't, and I can't get a restraining order on them because they haven't done anything to harm me.

Then move away from them. Don't tell anyone that you're moving away and give no warning to anyone that you even have plans on moving away and when you do, move to the other side of the country or at least a different but nearby county if you still have people you don't want to move away from.

Legally change your name if you have to once you reach your destination and start a new life. Just keep a select control group of individuals 'in the know' if you want to keep them in your life but keep the others out.

This way, the likelyhood of them ever finding you again will be very slim.