I wish...

[Edwardo Piet]

I don't see anything wrong in wishing people would die; it's not like my wish is going to affect them in anyway (unless they know, then it might upset them).

Exactly my point :p

A couple of you were saying it's not a good thing, and that's probably because they're my parents. I'm the kind of person that doesn't think blood ties have anything to do with me liking you or not.

I agree absolutely 100% there and it's an important thing in my life: that I don't give a flying fuck that people are related to me, that doesn't make them 'special' or anything. How would it? Why would it? Because it's (mindlessly) traditional to think so? Fuck that.

[fr0d0]

A blood tie is just that. I happen to think that's very important, and is a bond beyond friendship. Whatever my kids do I'll love them. I can't help that. I'd do anything for my family. They have a special pass. We don't have to like each other, that isn't the point. I've hated my dad. That's a natural process that facilitates independence. I hate my brother and sister in law sometimes... they're both wasters and users.

[Scented Nectar]

There is no logical reason to make yourself like or love someone if you are not actually feeling those emotions sponaneously. It is almost a biblegod-like requirement where your creator/parent must be loved because they are owed it, for keeping you alive/raising you as well.

Go with how you really feel. You seem very in touch with your own emotions and what they are in response to (your parents' very real personality flaws). It does not seem like you are being rash or jumping to opinions.

[Welsh cake]

Is it wrong to have morally negative thoughts or ideas? No. Thoughts are merely chemical reactions in the brain, and cannot be punishable by law, as long as they stay that way, that's fine.

Chasm you can wish death on your parents for as long as you want, it's ultimately irrelevant, wish death on the entire human race while you're at it, but the cold fact regardless is:


If this is "just a phase" you and your parents are going through then just grin and bear it, you may outlive your parents and once they're gone, they're gone forever, so you'd be wise to cherish them now.

On the other hand - if your parents are intentionally making your life, your existence so miserable to the point where you cannot stand to be anywhere near them, then its best for all parties to move on and go your separate ways.

[chasm]

Your statements regarding your parents aren't logical in and of themselves and thus didn't seem to require a logical answer.

Question: how is it not logical? Answer me that, please. You seem to think blood ties are important, and I don't. If you could see it from my perspective, maybe you would see it differently. My parents aren't good people, so I don't like them. End of story.

Clearly you care enough about your parents to care about the effect they have on you.

Yes, that's correct. I care about the effect they have on my life, and I know I don't like it, and I want them gone. And if they won't leave me alone, death is the second best option.

Since you are human you understand emotion whether you conciously acknowledge it or not. Being apatheic, bitter, or enfuriated doesn't make you emotionally dead.

I never said I was emotionally dead, I said I don't understand emotion. I understand that I have them, but beyond that, I don't know anything.

Then move away from them. Don't tell anyone that you're moving away and give no warning to anyone that you even have plans on moving away and when you do, move to the other side of the country or at least a different but nearby county if you still have people you don't want to move away from.

There's a couple problems with that plan. 1, I'm in college, and can't move until I graduate. 2, I can't just pack up and leave suddenly. Do you think you can do that?

Legally change your name if you have to once you reach your destination and start a new life. Just keep a select control group of individuals 'in the know' if you want to keep them in your life but keep the others out.

This way, the likelyhood of them ever finding you again will be very slim.

I'm not a fugitive on the run. I'd rather not go through the trouble of that and have them leave me alone. Forever, preferably.

[fr0d0]

If you did change location, do you think that'd help/ that they wouldn't bother to come visit chasm? I know it seems unfair that you're put out at all.. but if it achieves your aim?

Other than that all I can see as an option is you being very assertive and getting them to respect your wishes. None of this is good. Ideally you'd be able to smooth out the problems and work out a mutually agreeable plan.

People are vastly different yet learn to get along. In this society we're over stimulated and over populated. That isn't conducive to healthy relationships. My personal take : any negativity serves to hurt you more.

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

Question: how is it not logical? Answer me that, please. You seem to think blood ties are important, and I don't. If you could see it from my perspective, maybe you would see it differently. My parents aren't good people, so I don't like them. End of story.

It's illogical because human emotions are illogical. If it's just that your parents are terrible people in general, then I don't see any reason for you to feel anything about them, except perhaps apathy and a preference to not associate yourself with them, not unlike Osama Bin Laden's pop star daughter (whose name escapes me) who had to change her name because she's embarrassed of her own lineage and simply doesn't want an association with the life her father leads. That's logical.

Your parents are also not good people so you're bitter, angry with them enough to consult internet strangers, and your first (retracted) reaction was to post that you wanted them dead. While you realized that you had overreacted and now acknowledge that you simply want them out of your life, you're still basing all of your decisions about how to handle them based on the emotion they evoke in you.

What's logical is that they evoke a negative influence on your life and you don't want them to negatively influence your life. That's a normal, perfectly logical human reaction. Spock would be proud.
What's illogical is that you're basing all of your decisions about how to deal with them in any manner whatsoever based on the emotions they're illiciting in you.

Yes, that's correct. I care about the effect they have on my life, and I know I don't like it, and I want them gone. And if they won't leave me alone, death is the second best option.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.
While I'm definately a proponent of the death penalty in our judicial system, unless one or both of your parents is guilty of capital punishment crime (which I consider to be rape and pedophelia, among other crimes) then I don't think something like that is warrented for the same reason I don't condone the public stoning of assholes and witchcraft (because witchcraft is cool, children.)

I never said I was emotionally dead, I said I don't understand emotion. I understand that I have them, but beyond that, I don't know anything.

Listen, the only way you can convince me that you don't understand human emotion any more than any other human being on the planet is if one or more of the following is true:

1) You have not had proper human contact for most of your life. That is to say, zero human contact or a dysfunctional family. Not a sitcom dysfunctional family, but a locked in the basement for sixteen months for disobediance with daily whippings and a punch to the face kind of dysfunctional family.

2) You some some sort of psychiatric or genetic disorder, like asburgers, autism, mental retardation, or some other dysfunction that literally make you incapable of social interaction. Clearly, none of these things are the case. Given your battles with cancer, you've probably seen and experienced a greater range of emotions than I have.

3) You are not human and thus cannot understand human thought and emotion.

Now, the only one above that I think could even be remotely true is 1), but if that were the case, then I would recommend psychiatric help but that wouldn't explain why the judge wouldn't allow a restraining order or a trial for crimes against humanity. So I'm fairly confident that all of those are untrue, which leads me to the conclusion that you understand human emotions, but choose not to try or you don't trust your ability to understand human emotions.

Either way, you understand human emotions, whether you actually understand that you do or not. Even the most socially inept people (who don't suffer from 1), 2), or 3)) can have a great deal of empathy for other people, but for whatever reason, you've simply chosen not too or trust that you can.

There's a couple problems with that plan. 1, I'm in college, and can't move until I graduate. 2, I can't just pack up and leave suddenly. Do you think you can do that?

You're making excuses.

Look, we've already established that an attempt to bring about a restraining order has failed, which to me implys that they are not affecting your life in a serious enough manner for the law to feel the need to get involved. Which means to me that they have not committed any crimes against you and harassment they inflict upon you is not enough for a restraining order to be warrented.
Although you haven't directly said anything, I do also assume the following is true if you felt you needed to attempt to get a restraining order.

1) That you've discussed, argued, pleaded, begged, threatened, cajoled, blackmailed, any anything else you could do to attempt to convince them to voluntarily remove themselves from your life.

2) I assume you've done the 'softer' methods of avoiding them - not picking up calls, ignoring them as often as possible, and never visiting them voluntarily - that sort of thing.

3) You've clearly attempted to use the law in your favor to attempt to litigate them out of your life.

So you've presented here a problem: you want your parents out.
Assuming the above is true, you've done most things a normal person would do to try to get them out of your life with only some proactive effort involved.

Given the above, you've already given me two lame excuses as to not go further.
First, you can do the magic that any transferring college student already knows about and transfer to another school. Second, I never said you needed to leave suddenly, I said you needed to leave without telling anyone.

I'm not a fugitive on the run. I'd rather not go through the trouble of that and have them leave me alone. Forever, preferably.

The method I proposed is a tried-and-often-true method of removing far more threatening menaces from someone's life. The only more guarenteed method is done by the witness protection program.
There are fewer other methods guarenteed to succeed at wiping you off your parent's map and guarenteeing that they can never interfere with you again, but you've already given me two excuses and you've apparently already decided that you want to keep fighting them despite all the other methods I'm guessing that you've used because you don't want to go through the effort of packing your things without telling anyone, transferring your college credits, changing your name, and just leaving without making them the wiser.
Instead of doing that, you've chosen to give them every opportunity to continue their negative influence on your life while hinting that a death sentence on two human lives is a warrented response.

Now that I've said that, I'll tell you that as soon as you understand why you've made that decision, perhaps you'll come closer to both understanding the actual problem, the scope of tha problem, and the solution you'd actually like have happen.