Parenting - Split parental views.

[Spencer]

So I am a divorced father of two kids ages 6 and 7. They live full time with their mother and attend church (LDS) every other Sunday (when they're not with me). It scares me to think about the brainwashing that goes on from a young age, but I try to keep the peace between me and my ex so I am finding it difficult to find the appropriate time and issues to bring up with my kids. Right now I just try to make sure they understand what thinking for themselves means and drop little nuggets of wisdom like "Question everything". Also I think back to my own childhood and how I was raised, which was baptist, and I turned out ok. Although I went to church out of my own free choice. Interestingly enough the question of why I dont go to church hasnt come up yet, or the desire for me to take them to church. My son will be baptized next year, as 8 apparently is the right age for that. So I guess I am just wondering when is the right age for my kids to see alternate views and opinions?

Nervous.

Anyone have any thoughts or experience with this?

[theVOID]

NOW


*i have no experience*

[Spencer]

I know thats how I feel. I try to drop lines without being to specific and just saying "there is no god" I think it is an issue that means more when they figure it out themselves, so i am trying to find a way to keep them thinking and questioning.

[chasm]

I'd say now.

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

So I guess I am just wondering when is the right age for my kids to see alternate views and opinions?

Nervous.

Anyone have any thoughts or experience with this?

I don't have any experience (I don't have children) with this so take my advice with a grain of salt, but...

I do not believe that anytime is too early to promote critical thinking and good science. You're their father and even though they're primarily staying with their mother, you do have the right to raise them according to your views as well as hers and allow the children to make their own decisions. They're young, they're ignorant, but they're not stupid. They'll surprise you at every turn with how smart they are, but don't pull any punches with them.

[Rhage]

I have a 6 year old, and her father just happens to be muslim. We have been divorced for several years but he is trying to make her a "good little muslim girl." I do my very best to help her develop her own thoughts and ways of thinking.

I asked her a few weeks ago if she thought the she would be a muslim, her reply? "Maybe not after my daddy dies." So that kind of proves to me that she already feels like she has to be a certain way to please him, but she also thinks it's bullshit. I can only hope that the influence I have on her and her making up her own mind will, in time, herald the right result. Of course, I want her to come to her own conclusions and make up her mind. Ultimately, the decision to be any religion, or no religion at all, will be up to her.

[Spencer]

You are right, ultimately they will make up their own minds. Supposedly they will be living with me when they turn 12, thats when I hope to really open their eyes, but for now I think I will teach them the importance to think critically and independently,

[KichigaiNeko]

I have a 6 year old, and her father just happens to be muslim. We have been divorced for several years but he is trying to make her a "good little muslim girl." I do my very best to help her develop her own thoughts and ways of thinking.

I asked her a few weeks ago if she thought the she would be a muslim, her reply? "Maybe not after my daddy dies." So that kind of proves to me that she already feels like she has to be a certain way to please him, but she also thinks it's bullshit. I can only hope that the influence I have on her and her making up her own mind will, in time, herald the right result. Of course, I want her to come to her own conclusions and make up her mind. Ultimately, the decision to be any religion, or no religion at all, will be up to her.

Sorry Rhage but the little ones statement just shouts the ideology that women only should "Please Daddy" sky or otherwise....

So sad....

I hope she listens to you and develops as a strong and free thinking female


fucking sexist mysoginistic muslims (xtians and jews don't escape my wrath either!!)

[LastPoet]

You are right, ultimately they will make up their own minds. Supposedly they will be living with me when they turn 12, thats when I hope to really open their eyes, but for now I think I will teach them the importance to think critically and independently,

I don't have experience with children, but you should start now to teach them critical thought, because when they get to 12, they will be on the onset of puberty, and if your ex is left unchecked indoctrinating them untill then, you will have alot more trouble getting trough to them. Puberty is always a hard spot for parents, because kids think they know all, take offense when parents give advice, and are rebellious by nature. From my experience as a teenager, it was hard coping with all the deconversion process and have no one to share my doubts, so you might want to be the pillar that has honest answers to give them, when they feel troubled.

I wish I could help more on this, but I have no kids. Why don't they come with an instruction booklet?

[Rhage]

I have a 6 year old, and her father just happens to be muslim. We have been divorced for several years but he is trying to make her a "good little muslim girl." I do my very best to help her develop her own thoughts and ways of thinking.

I asked her a few weeks ago if she thought the she would be a muslim, her reply? "Maybe not after my daddy dies." So that kind of proves to me that she already feels like she has to be a certain way to please him, but she also thinks it's bullshit. I can only hope that the influence I have on her and her making up her own mind will, in time, herald the right result. Of course, I want her to come to her own conclusions and make up her mind. Ultimately, the decision to be any religion, or no religion at all, will be up to her.

Sorry Rhage but the little ones statement just shouts the ideology that women only should "Please Daddy" sky or otherwise....

So sad....

I hope she listens to you and develops as a strong and free thinking female


fucking sexist mysoginistic muslims (xtians and jews don't escape my wrath either!!)

I agree with you, she also spouts ideas such as "Only boys can do..." whatever. I tell her differently all the time and it pisses the ex off all the more. The most I can do for her is provide her with a different viewpoint. As I said, I have to hope that she becomes a strong person with her own ideas. Actually, I think that she is well on her way.