Sexual addiction

[Dust_bunny]

So in religion sex is taboo, but in atheism, the taboo goes out the window. I had a friend once who claimed he was a sex addict, with the underlying message being that having that type of " addictions" is wrong?

Addiction vs love... what does that really mean? As atheists, arent the fundamental rawest feelings of human beings acceptible and appropriate regardless of what they are?

So I guess my question is this... I know that some people just love the high of sexual attraction, and they love the high of sexual addiction and the hedonistic pleasures that come with it...

And it sounds on the surface like a lifetime of cocaine bliss and euphoria. But it never ends that way. Why does sexual addiction end in disaster? Why isnt it the glue that holds 2 people together, or is it? Is it the glue that holds people together but we are so caught up in the idea that its bad and harmful and wrong and sans love that we have to fight against it and run away so we dont get hurt... " because its not love" 

And this as well...

Why does sexual addiction usually end in the death of feelings, or some painful drama or heartbreak? Why cant humans fuction correctly when they are madly desiring someone?

What if two people who just madly desired one another, just kept having great sex happily and never stopped to bother with worrying about whether or not its an addiction and just choose to enjoy the pleasures and still love and desire each other in the morning...

And on that note, why do some men not love the woman in the morning? Why do feelings actually die? Is it the idea of the conquor or is there really something else going on? Is whats really happening is that a subconsious fear of the other person develops because of this deeply engraved conditioned idea that sex is taboo...

These are the reasons I fear dating a religious person. I feel they make sexuality black and white. Good girl bad girl syndrome.

The human brain is funny, it makes me question why our brains developed in a way to ensure that we have sexual attraction regulated and somewhat controllable in order to stay sain. Did this come from religion and ended up being an adaptive response? Apes dont seem to have these problems, well not thay they tell us anyway if they did.

This is why i love animals and their hedonism... feel. do. and love. Life really should be this simple.

[KevinM1]

Sex is considered an addiction when it interferes with normal life. When it's obsessive to the point of precluding someone from holding down a job, creating and maintaining non-sexual relationships, that sort of thing. That's a far cry from promiscuity.

As far as the rest, I dunno. We're atheists not psychologists.

[Chad32]

All good things in moderation. You can take anything too far, and this includes sex. Not that I believe you should enter into a lifelong commitment before you know you and your spouse are sexually compatible. So you can be addicted to sex. And food. And exercise. And any number of things that are otherwise healthy.

[brewer]

Some thoughts.

Sex does not equal love. In it's best form it can be an expression of love. And you can love the sex and not the person, simply enjoy the act. Where do you think fuck buddies came from. If you're are giving sex to get love, good luck. That's never worked for me.

Why do some men not love women in the morning? Probably because they didn't love them the prior night.

Ape sex act? Do you understand that the act is often an expression of dominance and not for pleasure?

Are you saying that animals are sex addicts? Do it for hedoinistic reasons and not reproduction? If so, then you haven't spent enough time around animals. [edit] My female only accepts attention twice a year. The rest of the year it's hands off buddy.

[Socratic Meth Head]

-ignore-

[Dust_bunny]

Some thoughts.

Sex does not equal love. In it's best form it can be an expression of love. And you can love the sex and not the person, simply enjoy the act. Where do you think fuck buddies came from. If you're are giving sex to get love, good luck. That's never worked for me.

Why do some men not love women in the morning? Probably because they didn't love them the prior night.

Ape sex act? Do you understand that the act is often an expression of dominance and not for pleasure?

Are you saying that animals are sex addicts? Do it for hedoinistic reasons and not reproduction? If so, then you haven't spent enough time around animals. [edit] My female only accepts attention twice a year. The rest of the year it's hands off buddy.

Yes ofcourse sex and love are differenrt and no I don't give sex to get love.  I just find all the social cliches and human stigmas of love and sex really stupid. I feel like some people make big deals out of it. Yes I had bunnies so i know that animals mate for dominance, my rabbit used to mate her lesbian partners head. I wish you could have seen the look on her face when one day the other rabbit tried to hump her head back... she really had the WTF look, like "oh no you did not".

What kind of animal do you have?

---

Sex is considered an addiction when it interferes with normal life.  When it's obsessive to the point of precluding someone from holding down a job, creating and maintaining non-sexual relationships, that sort of thing.  That's a far cry from promiscuity.

As far as the rest, I dunno.  We're atheists not psychologists.

I took psychology so I think about human nature a lot. 

I guess I'm curious why some people get sex addiction and whether or not it has to do with how they are perceiving what they are doing? Is it the rush of doing something they perceive as forbidden that causes the obsessive feelings?

Humans are so bizarre and complex

[The Valkyrie]

Sex can be an addiction??

[KevinM1]

Sex can be an addiction??

Only if you're doing it right.

[Minimalist]

Or...even if you're doing it wrong.

[SteelCurtain]

Why does sexual addiction usually end in the death of feelings, or some painful drama or heartbreak? Why cant humans fuction correctly when they are madly desiring someone?

Because when sex is an addiction, you are not madly desiring someone. You are madly desiring sex. Other people get swallowed up and spit out used because the primary focus tends to be in gaining that 'high' rather than having a mutually beneficial experience. This destroys relationships, and eventually your social pool from which to draw partners dries up. Then trouble follows.

What if two people who just madly desired one another, just kept having great sex happily and never stopped to bother with worrying about whether or not its an addiction and just choose to enjoy the pleasures and still love and desire each other in the morning...

What you are describing is not addiction. If both partners are satisfied, both partners are aware of the boundaries of the relationship, and both partners are able to stay within those boundaries, you aren't describing addiction---you are describing a healthy sexual relationship.

Addiction doesn't mean "likes to have sex a whole lot," or "has sex a whole lot." If it were the former, I think that would include most of the population.

Rather, addiction in any form is marked by lack of control of a behavior combined with personal consequences, and a prioritizing of continuing the behavior without regard to those consequences, or at least in preference to them.