Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[robvalue]

Thank you

When I'm in a better frame of mind, I'll appreciate this as really good news which will have a massive impact on me.

[J a c k]

Good news: I saw the surgeon today. I should hopefully have surgery at the end of November, which will improve my health and allow me to eat a proper diet again.

Bad news: I'm so depressed I don't even care. I'd rather she said she was going to cut my head off. A truck was waiting to pull out on the duel carriageway coming the other way and I wanted it to. Finish me off please. It wouldn't be my fault.

I barely enjoy anything. I do things to keep myself sane. There are very, very few things that give me any pleasure. There's only a few other things I actually want, that would actually bring me some sort of excitement and sense of feeling alive. But almost all of them, I can't have. If I tried to have them, I'd be facing a cost which was too high, to myself and/or others. I'm stuck feeling fucking miserable. And to make it worse, I have the perfect wife. I should be happy. I have everything I should need, right here. Yet this is how I feel.

I think... when surgery goes well, it may improve your quality of life. This might make a huge difference!
We love you, bro.  

[Jesster]

CISJ I'm tired of being the foundation everyone else leans on. Can someone let me lean on them sometime?

[robvalue]

Good news: I saw the surgeon today. I should hopefully have surgery at the end of November, which will improve my health and allow me to eat a proper diet again.

Bad news: I'm so depressed I don't even care. I'd rather she said she was going to cut my head off. A truck was waiting to pull out on the duel carriageway coming the other way and I wanted it to. Finish me off please. It wouldn't be my fault.

I barely enjoy anything. I do things to keep myself sane. There are very, very few things that give me any pleasure. There's only a few other things I actually want, that would actually bring me some sort of excitement and sense of feeling alive. But almost all of them, I can't have. If I tried to have them, I'd be facing a cost which was too high, to myself and/or others. I'm stuck feeling fucking miserable. And to make it worse, I have the perfect wife. I should be happy. I have everything I should need, right here. Yet this is how I feel.

I think... when surgery goes well, it may improve your quality of life. This might make a huge difference!
We love you, bro.  

Love you too sis, thank you

I'm feeling a little calmer now. Thanks for your support everyone. I'm going to chase up my therapy tomorrow. I was made a promise about when I would have it by, and it's been broken by two weeks.

[robvalue]

CIJS: I feel a lot better today. Still shit, but tons better. Thank you so much to everyone who sent me encouraging messages, and to my two very special friends for taking excellent care of me. I love you guys

Also, page 200! My sis spawned a champion, best thread ever!

[LadyForCamus]

Good news: I saw the surgeon today. I should hopefully have surgery at the end of November, which will improve my health and allow me to eat a proper diet again.

Bad news: I'm so depressed I don't even care. I'd rather she said she was going to cut my head off. A truck was waiting to pull out on the duel carriageway coming the other way and I wanted it to. Finish me off please. It wouldn't be my fault.

I barely enjoy anything. I do things to keep myself sane. There are very, very few things that give me any pleasure. There's only a few other things I actually want, that would actually bring me some sort of excitement and sense of feeling alive. But almost all of them, I can't have. If I tried to have them, I'd be facing a cost which was too high, to myself and/or others. I'm stuck feeling fucking miserable. And to make it worse, I have the perfect wife. I should be happy. I have everything I should need, right here. Yet this is how I feel.

It breaks my heart when you talk like this, Rob. [emoji45] I hope that once you at able to eat normally your mood will improve. So many people love you; I wish you felt better. *hugs*.

[Little lunch]

Hey Rob, hang in there buddy.
I know that feeling, trapped on earth.
It's a shit feeling, the worst mental pain.
I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better.

[chimp3]

Sorry to hear all this , Rob! Hope you feel better very, very soon.

[chimp3]

Can I just say , and I'm just being honest .... My megalomania is only counterbalanced by my poor self esteem.

[robvalue]

Thank you both very much, it means a lot to me

I'm capable today of appreciating what good news this is. I could be eating properly again this year!

I'm sure that a lack of fresh fruit, plus a very stodgy unhealthy diet, is making my M.E. worse. It has to be. I'm amazed I'm still walking about to be honest, after 5 years of what's meant to be a temporary diet. Better nutrition will lead to more energy and feelings of wellbeing, which will help battle my M.E. and then finally my depression. The depression is the worst. I could cope with the M.E. if it didn't cause the depression. But sadly, in my case at least, they always go hand in hand.

I'll keep you all updated when I find out more about the operation