Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Seraphina]

I'm sorry.

For always leaving early.
For making up excuses not to go out.
For not being more open.
For not keeping in touch.
For holding back.
For not being as kind as I wish I could be.
For running away all the time.
For being a bad friend.

I'm just scared. That I'll ruin it and that you secretly hate me. Everybody secretly hates me, they're just too nice to show it. I'm afraid of making a fool of myself. Of being vulnerable.

I hate myself too deeply to let you like me and I'm sorry for all the asshole things I do because of it. I really really want someone to stay but pushing people away is a reflex by this point.

I promise I'll make it up to you when I stop being so hung up on destroying myself.

CIJS
Aw, that's sad, Longhorn.  For what it's worth, some of us feel the same way.
It's never too late to be better.

-Teresa

[J a c k]

CIJS?

Now that it's not just me saying it, and we also have a diagnosis, will you stop accusing me of making excuses for him? Please, for the love of the child, inform yourself. Educate yourself. Learn to love him the way he needs to be loved. Stop trying to shape him into your idea of normal. Let him become even more amazing in those areas in which he is a high achiever. Help him, don't fight him. I know you mean well. I know you just want what's best for him. Just... open up your mind a little. Be a little more flexible. I appreciate that you care so much, but I need you to listen to what they have to say. I'm not saying to not challenge him. No way! He's incredibly capable of so much! Let's just learn the how and why of everything. It's the only way.

[Esquilax]

CIJS?

Now that it's not just me saying it, and we also have a diagnosis, will you stop accusing me of making excuses for him? Please, for the love of the child, inform yourself. Educate yourself. Learn to love him the way he needs to be loved. Stop trying to shape him into your idea of normal. Let him become even more amazing in those areas in which he is a high achiever. Help him, don't fight him. I know you mean well. I know you just want what's best for him. Just... open up your mind a little. Be a little more flexible. I appreciate that you care so much, but I need you to listen to what they have to say. I'm not saying to not challenge him. No way! He's incredibly capable of so much! Let's just learn the how and why of everything. It's the only way.

People who think like that are a dime a dozen. Hell, I'm 26 years old and right after I got my diagnosis my dad's earliest suggestion was that I don't do any research on it because I might start thinking I have certain symptoms. Not that I might recontextualize things I already felt, but that I might invent new symptoms out of whole cloth now that I have a "license" to do so. To him it was one big excuse just waiting to happen, even if it's a disability I didn't choose to have.

What I'm saying is, you're doing great by approaching it on his terms as best you can. Before the diagnosis and after it. A lot of people simply will not stop thinking of others outside of their own experiential framework, even when those others medically differ from that in ways they can't help; having an ally who'll actually take that difference into account... it means a lot, trust me.

I dunno, maybe I'm saying a bunch of shit you already know, and I certainly don't mean to be all doom and gloom: hopefully this person takes what you have to say to heart and changes. Just wanted to give you a kind of thumbs up for being cool from the outset, I guess.

[Longhorn]

I know someone who feels like that, and I feel for them. I hope you find someone who understands you and stays with you no matter what.

Thank you. Those words mean a lot.

[Thumpalumpacus]

CIJS, I'm sorry. You already know I'm looking at my own share of the blame, but I hope you know that it isn't a cursory glance. I was a dick and hindsight is cold comfort.

[Ben Davis]

---

CIJS?

Now that it's not just me saying it, and we also have a diagnosis, will you stop accusing me of making excuses for him? Please, for the love of the child, inform yourself. Educate yourself. Learn to love him the way he needs to be loved. Stop trying to shape him into your idea of normal. Let him become even more amazing in those areas in which he is a high achiever. Help him, don't fight him. I know you mean well. I know you just want what's best for him. Just... open up your mind a little. Be a little more flexible. I appreciate that you care so much, but I need you to listen to what they have to say. I'm not saying to not challenge him. No way! He's incredibly capable of so much! Let's just learn the how and why of everything. It's the only way.

---

So happy you got a diagnosis! That must really help all of you get some direction. Sorry to read he's still being a dick. I'm always here if you want to unload

[J a c k]

---

CIJS?

Now that it's not just me saying it, and we also have a diagnosis, will you stop accusing me of making excuses for him? Please, for the love of the child, inform yourself. Educate yourself. Learn to love him the way he needs to be loved. Stop trying to shape him into your idea of normal. Let him become even more amazing in those areas in which he is a high achiever. Help him, don't fight him. I know you mean well. I know you just want what's best for him. Just... open up your mind a little. Be a little more flexible. I appreciate that you care so much, but I need you to listen to what they have to say. I'm not saying to not challenge him. No way! He's incredibly capable of so much! Let's just learn the how and why of everything. It's the only way.

---

So happy you got a diagnosis! That must really help all of you get some direction. Sorry to read he's still being a dick. I'm always here if you want to unload

Thank you, Ben. You know just how much this meant to me. Finally! It's like taking off a blindfold.

[J a c k]

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo.

I'll have my eyes ready to roll back as far as I can for every non-Mexican wearing a stereotypical "Mexican costume". Fuck you.

Oh yeah, CIJS? Yeah, I can say.

[Kernel Sohcahtoa]

CIJS,

Tonight I finished helping out a co-worker in his studies of calculus 1 (we met up at Barnes and Noble). Specifically, he is taking a college business/economics math course (it is an online course) and the instructor has covered the topics of limits, derivatives, and integrals within the span of a month; thus, it is only natural that my co-worker has questions, as the material is being covered very quickly. 

With that said, my co-worker told me that he found my explanations useful: he observed that, during his initial attempts on his quiz questions, he had made some careless mistakes due to arithmetic errors, trying to work problems too fast (skipping steps), not paying attention to the wording of the questions, etc.  The most rewarding feeling that I had during this experience was listening to him think about the problems (like rewriting functions into a simpler form before differentiating, etc.) and catch on to key ideas (and previous mistakes) by himself and work them out as a result.  I also enjoyed our coverage of limits and algebraically manipulating (factoring is a cool skill to have here) the function in order to get it into a form where the limit could be evaluated. 

Well, his  final is due at some point this weekend, so I hope that he is able to accomplish his course goals along with being able to walk away from this course with an appreciation for the knowledge that he has gained.

[Ben Davis]

CIJS

I don't know what it is, but you have a little something-something that makes me all hot and bothered. I  just saw some stuff about you and it was an instant turn on. Whyyyyyyyy, Bill Maher?! Why?!
Omg I can't breathe.
Ok bye.

I guess Bill's just got that hold on you