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Current time: November 24, 2024, 11:54 pm

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Bad Dog
#1
Bad Dog
Made BLTs for lunch today (Wisconsin style, mit cheese and mayo) and realized Emergency Auxiliary Backup Cat #2 does not respond to the smell of bacon cooking.

I also reflected on the non-existence of bacon flavored cat food and cat treats.

And then I informed Emergency Auxiliary Backup Cat #2 that he would never experience bacon either, as I, nor any other sane human being would ever share any bacon with him, or for that matter, any other cat.

And that got me thinking about dogs and bacon.  Dogs famously love bacon.  Dog treats are bacon flavored and some are even bacon shaped.

Well then, how did humanity discover dogs like bacon ??

I can't imagine anyone willingly ever sharing bacon with a dog, people love bacon, it just never would have occurred to anyone to ever share bacon with a dog, and therefore, humans should be totally unaware that dogs like bacon.

So then, how did the current state of affairs occur with a significant percentage of the US industrial output of dog products being devoted to bacon flavored items ??


Clearly, the first dog to eat bacon did so by STEALING IT !!!

And once humans then realized that dogs like bacon, the die was cast, and dogs were allowed into the bacon eating fraternity.



But isn't there a problem there ??


We are rewarding BAD BEHAVIOR !!!


These dogs are eating our bacon, and we are allowing it and we are making the bacon sharing problem WORSE !!!


I think we need to IMMEDIATELY correct this situation, bacon consumption by dogs must be stopped, it must be made illegal, and humans that persist in sharing bacon with dogs (and these are BAD DOGS !!!) need to be STOPPED !!!


All specialists in dog training agree, bad behavior MUST NOT BR REWARDED !!  We immediately have to stop the canine bacon binge for their own good !!


Please join with me in this endeavor, I can guaranty if dogs are banned from bacon, there will be more bacon for US !!!
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#2
RE: Bad Dog
Let the dogs have it. Stop being so greedy.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#3
RE: Bad Dog
You are part of the problem.

Why do you hate dogs ??

I'm only proposing a canine bacon ban for their own good.

Dogs get to atone for their original sin, and we get more bacon.

Win-win.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#4
RE: Bad Dog
Why do you hate dogs by banning them from a snack that can benefit us all? Bacon is abundant enough that we do not need to squabble as though we are children. There is enough pig for everyone.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#5
RE: Bad Dog
Food specifically for pets really only dates from the mid 1800s, commercial tinned foods from the 1930s. Prior to that, domestic dogs ate more or less what humans ate, so they love of bacon by dogs likely coincides with the origin of bacon itself.

That being said, our two cats are fucking potty for bacon.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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#6
RE: Bad Dog
But we are rewarding bad behavior: the original instance of a dog STEALING bacon!!

Our hands are tied, we simply cannot go on rewarding bad behavior !! Experts agree, and we simply cannot contribute to the moral decay of our pets.

Now, I cannot rule out, someday perhaps, probably in the distant future, there will be a bacon messiah for dogs. A chosen one, one who can sacrifice of himself, and bring eternal bacon to all the dogs at that time.

But the dogs are going to have to earn their reward. Obedience, fealty and respect for their human masters, of course, and then in the fullness of time, bacon.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#7
RE: Bad Dog
Yeah, this is why I prefer cats. Way less drama.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#8
RE: Bad Dog
You do understand that humans taste test dog food/treats.

Nico and Lexy are pork free. Not because we are not rewarding bad behavior. My wife is just nuts.

I only contribute to tooth decay.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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#9
RE: Bad Dog
(July 24, 2016 at 7:03 pm)Maelstrom Wrote: Yeah, this is why I prefer cats.  Way less drama.

[Image: 6c491cafb8f782171b79838770277324.jpg]
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#10
RE: Bad Dog
[Image: dramacat_zpse69a2333.jpg]
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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