To fake conversion or not to fake, that is the question

[J a c k]

I received bad news last night. My grandma is very ill. I don't have grandpas. I never met them. I have two grandmas. One of them I haven't spoken to in about 10 years. Never will. I had an aunt who was like a grandma, but I lost her to cancer. So, this is my grandma in bed, very weak and kind of "out". Doctors watching her say she's tired and depressed. They're looking for other things, too.

Skip the emotional part, because oh mah gah it hurts.

When my aun died, I was holding her hand. She asked me to pray for her. I was still a believer, so I prayed. She was looking up and smiling. She said, "God, my savior, I'm ready for you to take me. All my children will continue for me. Take me home." She then sang worship songs in a state of elation until she passed.

My grandma is a religious fundie. She has hurt at the knowledge that some of us no longer serve the church. So my question is, and oh gawd it hurts to think about it, if she doesn't get better, would you fake a prayer? Would you pretend to believe, so she can pass away comfortably?

Thank you.

[account_inactive]

I probably would.

[c172]

My grandfather just passed on the 5th. 86 years old and had some kind of cancer. He and my grandmother (still alive) were pretty religious. They enjoyed their church friends, and just the idea that there is a God (and probably that all-American, straight and narrow vibe that being a Christian exudes).

But, they knew I was an atheist, and even seemed to take comfort that I had a community for my atheism. They did not judge. Great people.

And at the end of the day, my grandfather no longer has a vote. He is dead. He is not looking over me, and your grandma is not going to be looking over you. 

You do you (as long as you're civil about it, and I know you will be).

Good luck, and condolences.

[Jesster]

If someone is at the end of their life after years of reinforced indoctrination, anything that detracts from their life view is only likely to hurt them. I'd say that you should do whatever you can to comfort her. There's no afterlife, so make the last moments she has left happy however possible.

[Excited Penguin]

Be yourself, Mamacita. Don't lie to her if you don't want to and it comes to it. I don't think it would help her anyway.

That being said, I am extremely sad to hear this, I hope you know this. You have my support no matter what and I sincerely hope your grandma gets better.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I would.

I let my maternal grandmother die thinking I was a believer. Her feelings were more important to me.

[Whateverist]

I didn't do it for my father, but maybe I would have if we'd had any kind of relationship. Probably not. Perhaps you can just artfully evade the topic or reinterpret it for yourself in some benign way?

[Crossless2.0]

Do no harm. Whether your grandma's faith is based in something real or not, her belief that it is provides her comfort, just as her belief in the sincerity of your prayer will comfort her in her final hours. In the grand scheme of things, a small lie made out of love is not such a terrible thing. When the time comes, it will be about her, not you or anyone else.

I'm sorry about your grandma and hope you are ok.

[Mermaid]

Make it about her, not you. I think it would be nice to leave your personal beliefs out of it and honor her wishes. It's not going to hurt you or take anything away from you, and can only give her comfort.

[J a c k]

Thanks for the responses. I'm giving each of them some thought.