Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 18, 2024, 5:53 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
72 virgins
#11
RE: 72 virgins
Only if you are female, or gay, or bi. God is all-powerful, remember? Your pornstars will be personally suited to your sexual tastes.

Praise be to the Prophet Jesse Jane, may semen be upon her.
Reply
#12
RE: 72 virgins
(August 22, 2010 at 6:55 am)Zen Badger Wrote:
(August 21, 2010 at 4:01 pm)Captain Scarlet Wrote:
(August 21, 2010 at 1:47 pm)Tiberius Wrote: I'm going to create a religion where when you die, you get 72 pornstars. I have a feeling that my religion might be more popular...

Worship (large) I believe, I believe. I totally submit to your will, I now know longer wish to think for myself.

What Adrian left out is that they are 72 MALE pornstarsConfusedhock:

No thats catholoicsm specifically priests. This is an islamic thread.
"I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence"...Doug McLeod.
Reply
#13
RE: 72 virgins
Just give me three bisexual wives and one bisexual husband and I'll be happy. Coincidentally, that makes five of us, which is the holy number for Islam.
Atheist Forums Hall of Shame:
"The trinity can be equated to having your cake and eating it too."
...      -Lucent, trying to defend the Trinity concept
"(Yahweh's) actions are good because (Yahweh) is the ultimate standard of goodness. That’s not begging the question"
...       -Statler Waldorf, Christian apologist
Reply
#14
RE: 72 virgins
The temple of Ishtar gets my vote! ThinkGreatGreatBadgerDevil (large)
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
Reply
#15
RE: 72 virgins
(August 21, 2010 at 1:44 pm)Captain Scarlet Wrote: One thing I have never understood. As a dead martyr and your material body having passed away, you enter heaven as a disembodied soul, what would you actually do with 72 virgins? Its not like you have any physical parts to entertain each pther with?

So Osama Bin Laden dies and he arrives in the afterlife where he is immediately confronted by George Washington. George bellows at him, "How dare you attack the nation that I helped create!' and proceeds to beat the living shit out of him. Thomas Jefferson then appears and thunders, "Maybe THIS will help you understand the Declaration of Independence!". Jefferson then pounds Bib Laden to the ground. Patrick Henry then materializes, grabs Bin Laden by the hair, and screams, "You don't seem to understand the meaning of 'Give me liberty, or give me death!'". Henry then batters Bin Laden to a pulp.

At this point, Bin Laden cries out, "Oh, great and merciful Allah! I don't understand what is going on! Where are the 72 virgins I was promised?"

A voice then booms from above,"Virgins? That was a typo! What I promised was 72 Virginians!"
Science flies us to the moon and stars. Religion flies us into buildings.

God allowed 200,000 people to die in an earthquake. So what makes you think he cares about YOUR problems?
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  72 virgins Leon92 15 1332 August 16, 2018 at 9:29 am
Last Post: vorlon13
  Where Will All Those Virgins Come From? Rhondazvous 27 5941 November 15, 2017 at 3:17 pm
Last Post: WinterHold
  17 virgins Dotard 16 11298 December 10, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Last Post: Dotard



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)