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Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
#1
Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
Iff your warriors will have seven virgins each, where will they all come from? Is there a secret society that kills pretty girls so they go to heaven as virgins and be ready for your warriors?

Were the virgins just created in heaven? That's kind of unfair isn't it? You have to go through life on earth and risk fucking things up and going to hell, while these chicks have it made in the shade.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

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#2
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
I don't want 7 pretty girls in the afterlife.

I want the warriors !!!
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#3
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
They won't come from round where I live, I know that much.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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#4
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
ComicCon.
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#5
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
I think it's supposed to be 70. Not 7. Which is a lot worse. Presumably they will be created in heaven for the purpose of these warriors, or whenever a little kid dies, they may be chosen to be some warrior's concubine.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#6
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
(November 12, 2017 at 11:02 am)Chad32 Wrote: I think it's supposed to be 70. Not 7. Which is a lot worse. Presumably they will be created in heaven for the purpose of these warriors, or whenever a little kid dies, they may be chosen to be some warrior's concubine.

Yep. Does it say anywhere that they are female, of age, or even human?
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem




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#7
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
(November 12, 2017 at 9:59 am)Rhondazvous Wrote: Iff your warriors will have seven virgins each, where will they all come from? Is there a secret society that kills pretty girls so they go to heaven as virgins and be ready for your warriors?

Were the virgins just created in heaven? That's kind of unfair isn't it? You have to go through life on earth and risk fucking things up and going to hell, while these chicks have it made in the shade.

They're animated sex slaves created specifically for that purpose and designed to satisfy every carnal desire, even those prohibited to you in life.  They can be gender neutral. They're never too tired, they do not age, they enjoy -anything- you do to them, and they never show signs of use or wear.  

As a bonus, allah magically transforms you in the worlds greatest lover with endowments that would put Adonis to shame.  

Sorry ladies, not much for you to do in heaven besides graciously receive your husbands new donkeypeen...if you can pry him away from the unisexbots...that is.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#8
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
(November 12, 2017 at 11:25 am)mh.brewer Wrote:
(November 12, 2017 at 11:02 am)Chad32 Wrote: I think it's supposed to be 70. Not 7. Which is a lot worse. Presumably they will be created in heaven for the purpose of these warriors, or whenever a little kid dies, they may be chosen to be some warrior's concubine.

Yep. Does it say anywhere that they are female, of age, or even human?

I do not know, but presumably they're capable of having sex. Otherwise why would virginity factor into it?
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#9
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
(November 12, 2017 at 11:33 am)Chad32 Wrote:
(November 12, 2017 at 11:25 am)mh.brewer Wrote: Yep. Does it say anywhere that they are female, of age, or even human?

I do not know, but presumably they're capable of having sex. Otherwise why would virginity factor into it?

Sorry but virgin frog sex, while possible, is not very appealing.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem




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#10
RE: Where Will All Those Virgins Come From?
(November 12, 2017 at 11:37 am)mh.brewer Wrote:
(November 12, 2017 at 11:33 am)Chad32 Wrote: I do not know, but presumably they're capable of having sex. Otherwise why would virginity factor into it?

Sorry but virgin frog sex, while possible, is not very appealing.

Gives a whole new meaning to "croaking toads".
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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