religious friends

[Kyuuketsuki]

I have religious friends, and I respect their views. It is up to them what they believe, and I have had long conversations with some of them. Respecting someone's views is not a matter of agreeing with them- there is no way you could agree with someone about ever issue, ever. I look for good, happy people, and that is how I find friends.

Good for you, for all of you that can do that ... I cant. What my friends believe is part of what they are ... if I didn't respect that I couldn't respect them.

That is why I have no religious friends and likely never will do.

Kyu

[Edwardo Piet]

I guess it's because the strongest focus of my friendships is respect, I respect my friends, I respect their views, if I couldn't they wouldn't be my friends

I have religious friends, and I respect their views. It is up to them what they believe, and I have had long conversations with some of them. Respecting someone's views is not a matter of agreeing with them- there is no way you could agree with someone about ever issue, ever. I look for good, happy people, and that is how I find friends.

Well that'ss probably a different definition of the word respect to the one I think of when I think of religious people then.
If someone really believed in faeries, literally, could you for instance say, or would you tend to think "I respect that"....
I wouldn't. And I wouldn't for God. If someone believes in God I wouldn't think - or say to them - "I respect that" for instance.
I don't believe. And the thing is, I don't "believe in belief" either.
Are you using a different definition of the word respect than me then? Or using it in a different way? Or not?
Evf

[lukec]

To me, if a person is nice, and likeable, I could care less about what they believe in their private lives. If they bring it up to me I tell them straight up that I disagree with them and the reasons for it, and if they're offended by open dialogue like that then it's up to them not to stick around. But one of my close friends is religious, and we like many of the same things, and religion doesn't come up often, but when it does we have a civil discussion. Thinking about it now I have to say that he is no Y.E.C. by far, and believes that evolution is real, etc. But at the same time he goes to church every sunday, and has events with church groups. But that doesn't matter, because it frankly doesn't affect me at all. As long as a person isn't trying to make me believe what they believe, I can be friends with them. But to me, saying that someone can't be your friend because of what they believe is a snap judgement and excludes, I'm sure, many genuinely kind and fun people. I have another friend who believes in ghosts, and similar things I consider nonsense, but who cares? He's a fun guy.

[Kyuuketsuki]

Are you using a different definition of the word respect than me then? Or using it in a different way? Or not?

I think so ... I think people's definition of respect varies (I mean I respect everyone's right to hold whatever belief they wish but nothing about that implies I respect the belief itself) and I think people's definition of friendship varies.

I mean I've had people come to me on forums and tell me they're my friend and I couldn't disagree more; I cannot see how someone can be a real friend when you haven't even met them ... I certainly have internet friends but they didn't become real friends until I met them. Likewise just knowing someone and being friendly is not what I'd call friendship ... I would do anything within reason for my friends and they would for me, indeed I had reason recently to find out just how much my friendship meant to one of my closest friends.

Anyway, to me, friendship is important and it is inherently based on respect ... I am genuinely proud to be the friend of those who I have chosen to associate with and who likewise choose to associate with me. In order to really be someone's friend (and I don't mean just an acquaintance) I would I would have to respect everything about them ... if they were racist I couldn't be their friend, likewise if they were not (broadly speaking) a socialist liberal, if they were misogynistic or a paedophile I couldn't be their friend ...these things matter to me and these things tend to dictate whether I can identify with someone and whether I can realistically care about them. If they had overt religious views it would sour my view of them ... I could be "friendly" but I could not truly be their friend.

Kyu

[Edwardo Piet]

Are you using a different definition of the word respect than me then? Or using it in a different way? Or not?

I think so ... I think people's definition of respect varies (I mean I respect everyone's right to hold whatever belief they wish but nothing about that implies I respect the belief itself) and I think people's definition of friendship varies.

I mean I've had people come to me on forums and tell me they're my friend and I couldn't disagree more; I cannot see how someone can be a real friend when you haven't even met them ... I certainly have internet friends but they didn't become real friends until I met them. Likewise just knowing someone and being friendly is not what I'd call friendship ... I would do anything within reason for my friends and they would for me, indeed I had reason recently to find out just how much my friendship meant to one of my closest friends.

Anyway, to me, friendship is important and it is inherently based on respect ... I am genuinely proud to be the friend of those who I have chosen to associate with and who likewise choose to associate with me. In order to really be someone's friend (and I don't mean just an acquaintance) I would I would have to respect everything about them ... if they were racist I couldn't be their friend, likewise if they were not (broadly speaking) a socialist liberal, if they were misogynistic or a paedophile I couldn't be their friend ...these things matter to me and these things tend to dictate whether I can identify with someone and whether I can realistically care about them. If they had overt religious views it would sour my view of them ... I could be "friendly" but I could not truly be their friend.

Kyu

Ok. I thought you were using a different definition. Was just checking to make sure I didn't misunderstand you.
I wouldn't think I would necessarily have to meet someone in 'real life' to consider them a 'friend'. If only because at times I can get on really well and get to know someone a lot more online than offline. Because being online tends to break boundaries.
Once again though, perhaps we are using a different definition. Since you have already explained that it takes a lot for you to consider someone a friend.
Its perhaps different with personal relationships though I think.
Evf

[Eilonnwy]

I have a ton of friends because I travel and make friends through conventions I go to. My friends range from strong atheist to Jesus lovers. While I'm often disappointed to find someone who I consider intelligent to believe in god, I don't hold it against them and it doesn't change my opinion or feelings for them.

Actually just recently one of my friends Scott found out I'm an atheist because I've been more verbal about it lately. He now teases me about it. But it doesn't bother me, because I don't think it changes his opinion of me. He likes to tease people about things and this is just a new thing that gets attention. He has told me before that he likes me because I'm very good at defending my opinions, like when I told him about my reasons for supporting Obama. He likes to argue with me and grill me on my opinions because I have well thought out ones. I haven't gotten into a religious debate with him yet, but I have a feeling it will happen at some point, and when it does I'll be ready.

In another case I have a friend who is so into her religion that she once wrote an LJ post about how she just thought that Jesus must have pooped and how mind boggling that was. XD

Then I have my atheist friends who I can joke and discuss religion with, so it's all good.

[Dotard]

I have a friend who is so into her religion that she once wrote an LJ post about how she just thought that Jesus must have pooped...

HolyShit?


(First to say it!)

[lukec]

Touché, Dotard. Touché.

[Demonaura]

I have only one religious friend, and hes basically only religious because he doesn't know how else to live or how to think in any other way. I eventually got to have a long conversation with him and he admitted it came down to complete blind faith for no reason. So it's a pretty steriotypical situation of raised by the bible (Oh yea hes christian btw) and so sheltered that he doesn't know how to NOT follow his parents views. Odds are it will all take a backseat later on in life and while he won't likely abandon all faith it will be a quick prayer before dinner.ect

All my other friends thought about it more in depth when I started getting into religion more seriously and all came to similar conclusions as I did.


The part that gets me is I don't know exactly how I feel about it. His family never brings it up when I don't join in prayer or tries to convert me but, from my perspective he may as well beleive in the tooth fairy. And to be frank I've seen MORE evidence for the tooth fairy in my life than for god.

[l.o.s.s]

I live next to three churches, so I'm completely fine with religious people. I've even had invitations to cook outs and stuff at the churches (great food might I add). In the 21st century, you'd have to be crazy to not accept somebody else for having one little chip set in differently than you.