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RE: What simulator they haven't made yet?
December 14, 2016 at 3:17 pm
How will we know, when the morning comes, we are still human? - 2D
Don't worry, my friend. If this be the end, then so shall it be.
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RE: What simulator they haven't made yet?
December 14, 2016 at 3:24 pm
Here's something I came up with when I was quite high: PIGEON SIMULATOR
You'd be a regular pigeon in Central Park. There's an elderly man who feeds the pigeons at exactly noon each day. You have to be there and you have to fight the other pigeons for the bread. If you don't get enough bread, you'll starve and it's game over. Some pigeons are real assholes, they'll go to any lengths to protect their bread. They might poke your eye out or something. But you have to be strong and you need to strike back!
Aside from that, you'd fly around, crap on things... there'll be a mini-game where you can challenge another pigeon to a contest to see who can crap on the most people, and a mode where you have to be as accurate as possible. You win a certain amount of bread from them if you win, and if you lose you have to give some of your bread. Of course, the option to steal other pigeon's bread is there, but then you'll get a negative reputation, and the other pigeons are less likely to help you or accept crapping challenges, and are more likely to steal from you or attack you when the old man comes to feed everyone. You can try to steal food from humans, but humans are dangerous and could easily give you a significant amount of damage.
The game will go through all the seasons. The old man, of course, will come less frequently in the winter. That's when your ties to the other pigeons will be tested. By then you should have a feel of who will be willing to pool their resources with you and who might attack you and steal your shit. If you've been a real asshole to the others, surviving the winter will be unlikely. So you have to play it smart.
Oh, there will also definitely be cut-scenes, but the "pigeon speak" won't be translated. You'll just sit through a bunch of cut scenes with pigeons going *coo coo* at each other.
I've put a great deal of thought into this.
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RE: What simulator they haven't made yet?
December 14, 2016 at 3:28 pm
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RE: What simulator they haven't made yet?
December 14, 2016 at 4:45 pm
How about a game that simulates General Custer getting his revenge by raping a tied-up Native American with a giant, pixelated boner? Oh, wait...they already made that...
Personally, I don't think we've truly jumped the shark with the genre until we get a simulator simulator.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell