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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 28, 2017 at 6:48 pm
(This post was last modified: January 28, 2017 at 7:00 pm by Thal.)
(January 27, 2017 at 7:13 am)pool the great Wrote: All I know is these "racism" and "homophobic" type of things are extremely can be somewhat subjective. I could text my friend "wassup ma nigga" and not be called a racist but if I say that to a sensitive decent person it'll hurt them and they'll rightly call me a racist. Same with homophobia, misogyny, androgyny and every other buzz word on the book inequality/minority problem. So it seems to me that when you say you cut ties with someone because they're a racist, homophobic etc it just translates "I just don't like him". I mean I'm not asking you to explain your decision, you don't have to and besides you can't explain why you like hanging out with certain people anyway, you just have the same vibe, you mesh really well and soon enough you're kicking off
Fixed your comment for you.
For the rest, you're kinda right. Once we realize our friend has unacceptable values, we tend to not like them anymore. Funny how that works. I don't like racists, and I don't like bullies. That's how it is.
(January 27, 2017 at 2:33 am)vorlon13 Wrote: I just know I'm getting real tired of it. There's a zillion things we can talk about besides that, and he's not picking up on that's where I want to go . . .
Yes, there are other things we can talk about, but for a lot of us, friendship is about more than "what can we talk about." Friendship is about liking the other person, and if the other person develops or reveals deplorable values such as racism etc, then most of us tend to not find that very likable.
I really don't understand why there are people who can't comprehend this. It's so simple and basic, like: I don't like racists --> You've shown yourself as a racist --> I don't like you anymore --> We can't be friends anymore.
Also, friendship isn't something anyone is entitled to. People have ended friendships for way more insignificant and silly reasons than core values. I've never heard any outrage regarding that before.
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 28, 2017 at 9:55 pm
I'm acquainted with enough crazy people as it is.
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 28, 2017 at 11:13 pm
(January 28, 2017 at 6:48 pm)Thal Wrote: (January 27, 2017 at 7:13 am)pool the great Wrote: All I know is these "racism" and "homophobic" type of things are extremely can be somewhat subjective. I could text my friend "wassup ma nigga" and not be called a racist but if I say that to a sensitive decent person it'll hurt them and they'll rightly call me a racist. Same with homophobia, misogyny, androgyny and every other buzz word on the book inequality/minority problem. So it seems to me that when you say you cut ties with someone because they're a racist, homophobic etc it just translates "I just don't like him". I mean I'm not asking you to explain your decision, you don't have to and besides you can't explain why you like hanging out with certain people anyway, you just have the same vibe, you mesh really well and soon enough you're kicking off
Fixed your comment for you.
For the rest, you're kinda right. Once we realize our friend has unacceptable values, we tend to not like them anymore. Funny how that works. I don't like racists, and I don't like bullies. That's how it is.
(January 27, 2017 at 2:33 am)vorlon13 Wrote: I just know I'm getting real tired of it. There's a zillion things we can talk about besides that, and he's not picking up on that's where I want to go . . .
Yes, there are other things we can talk about, but for a lot of us, friendship is about more than "what can we talk about." Friendship is about liking the other person, and if the other person develops or reveals deplorable values such as racism etc, then most of us tend to not find that very likable.
I really don't understand why there are people who can't comprehend this. It's so simple and basic, like: I don't like racists --> You've shown yourself as a racist --> I don't like you anymore --> We can't be friends anymore.
Also, friendship isn't something anyone is entitled to. People have ended friendships for way more insignificant and silly reasons than core values. I've never heard any outrage regarding that before. I need Thal to say everything I want, but can't express, all the fucking time. Lol
Couldn't say it better myself.
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 29, 2017 at 12:10 am
(This post was last modified: January 29, 2017 at 12:33 am by ErGingerbreadMandude.)
Thal Wrote:For the rest, you're kinda right. Once we realize our friend has unacceptable values, we tend to not like them anymore. Funny how that works. I don't like racists, and I don't like bullies. That's how it is.
Racism is just plain dumb. It's like this, you see two identical people and you think one is better than the other because of his skin color. The reason people don't like racists is because it's just plain stupid, there's nothing more to say about it and it's often a result of undereducation.
Homophobia is a different issue. I remember the first time I met an openly gay person and I was legitimately scared to sleep in the same room with him because I was fearful of being taken advantage of - that's not homophobia. Then there are people that go "wtf ewww you're gay??stand away", THESE are the homophobics and they're often closet gays too scared to come out anyway. Homophobia is yet another stupid thing because liking dicks or liking pussy has no impact on the personality or performance of an individual.
Then there's sexism, this is an interesting yet confusing topic for me because men and woman ARE different, our brains are wired differently, our anatomy is different and we respond differently to different situations. So it's established that men and women are different so then it doesn't make sense to call it discrimination to treat them differently it just makes it common sense.
I think the reason a lot of people especially women that goes tits out in these types of discussions are because they think men and women being different is just an excuse to treat women like shit which is far from the truth, in some situations men are treated like shit and in other situations women are treated like shit.
It's naive and stupid to dream about this perfect world where men and women are both not treated like shit because that would require you to remove any difference between men and women, all humans will have to evolve into a single gender capable of asexual reproduction. See? Pretty stupid, right?
All three entirely different issues.
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 29, 2017 at 12:49 am
I am a loner so I have no friends. But I do engage online with all shades of opinion. And it would never occur to me to ban or ignore anyone for something that they said. I am
interested in the thinking processes of other human beings including those who think fundamentally different to me. Listening to their opinions does not mean that I agree with
them. It just means I hear them out. Having a thick skin and being emotionally detached helps enormously. I refuse to unleash full blown anger at combinations of signifiers on
a computer screen. Sometimes I get irritated but it never goes beyond that. I find it to be character building so it is morally beneficial if not necessarily intellectually so. Though
I do not recommend it. For this is beyond my jurisdiction. It is not my place to tell anyone how to think. You have to do that yourself. All I can do is tell you that it works for me
A MIND IS LIKE A PARACHUTE : IT DOES NOT WORK UNLESS IT IS OPEN
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 29, 2017 at 12:49 am
I am a loner so I have no friends. But I do engage online with all shades of opinion. And it would never occur to me to ban or ignore anyone for something that they said. I am
interested in the thinking processes of other human beings including those who think fundamentally different to me. Listening to their opinions does not mean that I agree with
them. It just means I hear them out. Having a thick skin and being emotionally detached helps enormously. I refuse to unleash full blown anger at combinations of signifiers on
a computer screen. Sometimes I get irritated but it never goes beyond that. I find it to be character building so it is morally beneficial if not necessarily intellectually so. Though
I do not recommend it. For this is beyond my jurisdiction. It is not my place to tell anyone how to think. You have to do that yourself. All I can do is tell you that it works for me
A MIND IS LIKE A PARACHUTE : IT DOES NOT WORK UNLESS IT IS OPEN
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 29, 2017 at 12:14 pm
(January 29, 2017 at 12:10 am)pool the great Wrote: Thal Wrote:For the rest, you're kinda right. Once we realize our friend has unacceptable values, we tend to not like them anymore. Funny how that works. I don't like racists, and I don't like bullies. That's how it is.
Racism is just plain dumb. It's like this, you see two identical people and you think one is better than the other because of his skin color. The reason people don't like racists is because it's just plain stupid, there's nothing more to say about it and it's often a result of undereducation.
Homophobia is a different issue. I remember the first time I met an openly gay person and I was legitimately scared to sleep in the same room with him because I was fearful of being taken advantage of - that's not homophobia. Then there are people that go "wtf ewww you're gay??stand away", THESE are the homophobics and they're often closet gays too scared to come out anyway. Homophobia is yet another stupid thing because liking dicks or liking pussy has no impact on the personality or performance of an individual.
Then there's sexism, this is an interesting yet confusing topic for me because men and woman ARE different, our brains are wired differently, our anatomy is different and we respond differently to different situations. So it's established that men and women are different so then it doesn't make sense to call it discrimination to treat them differently it just makes it common sense.
I think the reason a lot of people especially women that goes tits out in these types of discussions are because they think men and women being different is just an excuse to treat women like shit which is far from the truth, in some situations men are treated like shit and in other situations women are treated like shit.
It's naive and stupid to dream about this perfect world where men and women are both not treated like shit because that would require you to remove any difference between men and women, all humans will have to evolve into a single gender capable of asexual reproduction. See? Pretty stupid, right?
All three entirely different issues.
All three different issues (though with considerable similarities), and all three represented by Trump and his administration, because of all the lowlifes and ignorants that voted for him. So if this was meant as an argument against me dumping friends who support him, it's really not helping. At all. More the opposite, actually.
(Btw, the brain of men and women aren't wired that differently, and we don't respond differently to situations because of our gender, but because of our individual experiences and qualities. So no, it doesn't make sense to treat people differently based on gender, unless the issue at hand has to do with penises or vaginas. I'll happily explain this issue in detail on a different thread where it won't derail from the topic, if you wish to know more.)
Quote:I remember the first time I met an openly gay person and I was legitimately scared to sleep in the same room with him because I was fearful of being taken advantage of
So basically you were afraid the gay man would treat you the way straight men treat women. Now let that sink in. Take as long as you need.
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 29, 2017 at 12:33 pm
(This post was last modified: January 29, 2017 at 12:40 pm by ErGingerbreadMandude.)
Thal Wrote:(Btw, the brain of men and women aren't wired that differently, and we don't respond differently to situations because of our gender, but because of our individual experiences and qualities. So no, it doesn't make sense to treat people differently based on gender, unless the issue at hand has to do with penises or vaginas. I'll happily explain this issue in detail on a different thread where it won't derail from the topic, if you wish to know more.)
Ah the old gender is a "social construct" argument, I guess taste is also a social construct then? What about gravity? You're defending a loosing point if you're going to argue men and women are identical but feel free to make a thread about it.
Thal Wrote:So basically you were afraid the gay man would treat you the way straight men treat women. Now let that sink in. Take as long as you need.
pool the great Wrote:I remember the first time I met an openly gay person and I was legitimately scared to sleep in the same room with him because I was fearful of being taken advantage of (emphasis on "the first time")
Although I love how you jumped at it as if "See?!! Women live in fear of men all their lives!!!". It's natural to feel anxious in new unfamiliar situations, however if a woman lives in fear of men her whole life she is as mentally ill as a cuckoo on a popsicle.
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 29, 2017 at 12:35 pm
(January 29, 2017 at 12:10 am)pool the great Wrote: Thal Wrote:For the rest, you're kinda right. Once we realize our friend has unacceptable values, we tend to not like them anymore. Funny how that works. I don't like racists, and I don't like bullies. That's how it is.
Racism is just plain dumb. It's like this, you see two identical people and you think one is better than the other because of his skin color. The reason people don't like racists is because it's just plain stupid, there's nothing more to say about it and it's often a result of undereducation.
Homophobia is a different issue. I remember the first time I met an openly gay person and I was legitimately scared to sleep in the same room with him because I was fearful of being taken advantage of - that's not homophobia. Then there are people that go "wtf ewww you're gay??stand away", THESE are the homophobics and they're often closet gays too scared to come out anyway. Homophobia is yet another stupid thing because liking dicks or liking pussy has no impact on the personality or performance of an individual.
Then there's sexism, this is an interesting yet confusing topic for me because men and woman ARE different, our brains are wired differently, our anatomy is different and we respond differently to different situations. So it's established that men and women are different so then it doesn't make sense to call it discrimination to treat them differently it just makes it common sense.
I think the reason a lot of people especially women that goes tits out in these types of discussions are because they think men and women being different is just an excuse to treat women like shit which is far from the truth, in some situations men are treated like shit and in other situations women are treated like shit.
It's naive and stupid to dream about this perfect world where men and women are both not treated like shit because that would require you to remove any difference between men and women, all humans will have to evolve into a single gender capable of asexual reproduction. See? Pretty stupid, right?
All three entirely different issues.
Sexism isn't men and women being different. It's giving one sex more rights or more human value than the other.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
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RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
January 29, 2017 at 12:42 pm
Catholic_Lady Wrote:Sexism isn't men and women being different. It's giving one sex more rights or more human value than the other.
If we're going to talk about purely in dictionary terms, sexism is:
Quote:prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, on the basis of sex.
I'm talking about in real life terms where people consider it "sexism" to treat men and women differently.
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