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Funny things your kids say
#21
RE: Funny things your kids say
This isn't anything my son said -- I was nine years old when this happened, and I still get laugh out of my incomprehension. It happened when I lived in Iran:

Quote:One Sunday we were off as usual to Mass, the sacraments of which were denied us Baptist heathens. Kerry was driving me up the wall the entire thirty minute ride to services, but quietly, so that his mom didn’t realize anything was amiss. The whole trip was one long exercise in annoyance, and given my then-recent efforts at controlling my temper at my parents’ prodding, it was a miracle we didn’t have a scrap in the car. So we get into Mass, and the priest is well into delivering his homily, and Kerry is still giving me grief under his breath, and so finally my patience wears out and I yell at the top of my voice: “SHUT UP!”

You could have heard angels dancing on the head of a dropping pin, right then.

Man, his mother grabbed me by the ear -- literally -- took me outside, and beat my ass.

I had no idea!

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#22
RE: Funny things your kids say
Best thread ever.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
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#23
RE: Funny things your kids say
Oh, man, my youngest said something so funny the other day, but unfortunately, my wife would probably divorce me if she saw I had posted about it. I'll just say that kids are always observing.

I can, however, mention the time I was driving with my son in the backseat when he was 2 1/2. Another driver on the road did something stupid, and I said, "What the-" but caught myself before I finished. Then I hear this quiet but excited voice exclaim from behind me "Fuck! What the fuck!" That's when I realized I really needed to curb the swearing.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#24
RE: Funny things your kids say
Not something said, but something done by another kid.

This was the day I went to meet my ex husband's mom before we got married. She had a 1.5 year old son. As we were talking, she was acting all serious and high nosed trying to talk sophisticated and sheyet. Lol! All of a sudden her kid runs out the bedroom and into the dining area where we were at waving a bra and panties like flags and laughing joyfully. Obviously they were her stuff and she was so embarrassed chasing him around trying to grab her huge flowery stuff. Hahahaha best thing ever!
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#25
RE: Funny things your kids say
My older daughter's first word may have been "mama," but her first sentence was "fuckin' refs." Devil

That's what happens when your kid is leaning to talk during football season. Big Grin
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
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