Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 25, 2024, 5:50 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
How to tell it's morning...
#1
How to tell it's morning...
The alarm goes off. 
Your feet hit the floor.
Your knees hit the floor.
Your chest hits the floor.
Your face hits the floor. 

Your coffee cup has too many moving parts.

Your upper and lower lip aren't sync'd. 

You accidently watch the Cartoon Channel instead of CNN and you keep wondering what the fuck T.rump is up to now.
Reply
#2
RE: How to tell it's morning...
and someone calls and whatever they're going on about is complicated . . .
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#3
RE: How to tell it's morning...
(September 21, 2017 at 11:21 am)vorlon13 Wrote: and someone calls and whatever they're going on about is complicated . . .

Something about a fire in the attic? I'm not wearing an attic!
Reply
#4
RE: How to tell it's morning...
I have to leave the house for 5am at the latest on these early shifts.  At that time it's usually dark, cold and the good thing is that the roads are dead.

Once I left the house and the first thing I saw just a few feet away from me was a fox sitting with a cat like they were calmly having a chat about something.  You know you're definitely up too early if the first thing you see is a fox socializing with a cat.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

Impersonation is treason.





Reply
#5
RE: How to tell it's morning...
You open your eyes to the sight of a furry, whiskered face, as a cat sits on your chest in a subtle attempt to remind you that the food bowl is only three-quarters full.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
#6
RE: How to tell it's morning...
How to tell its morning when you're retired.

a-  The alarm doesn't go off.
b-  You get up when you have to take a piss.
c-  If you feel like it, go back to bed.
Reply
#7
RE: How to tell it's morning...
I leave the house and notice that almost everyone is wearing black arm bands.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
Reply
#8
RE: How to tell it's morning...
usually, (these days) second time I have to get up and pee, it's time to get up . . . .
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#9
RE: How to tell it's morning...
(September 21, 2017 at 7:02 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: You open your eyes to the sight of a furry, whiskered face, as a cat sits on your chest in a subtle attempt to remind you that the food bowl is only three-quarters full.

Handled. Boss Lady works until 2 AM, then she comes home and gets breakfast for the catadons. They only need me to open the sliding door when I crawl into the kitchen for adrenaline.
Reply
#10
RE: How to tell it's morning...
The girls are up. After that their is no further sleep. On the bright side the wake up can be quite wonderful. If you get my meaning . Wink
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.

Inuit Proverb

Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
Thumbs Up Tell me YOUR weather is this screwed up. onlinebiker 5 839 April 15, 2020 at 12:59 pm
Last Post: brewer
  What's your morning ritual? EgoDeath 44 4341 October 13, 2019 at 9:32 pm
Last Post: EgoDeath
  You can tell it' s REALLY cold out when - onlinebiker 13 1691 January 31, 2019 at 4:56 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  (Yet Another) Tell Us About You Thread BrianSoddingBoru4 40 4003 September 12, 2018 at 6:25 am
Last Post: Lucanus
Heart Tell us your ethnicity with food pics *Deidre* 138 24974 May 19, 2018 at 5:06 pm
Last Post: Napoléon
  Tell us your age with a picture Silver 74 10502 May 14, 2018 at 2:53 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  I will tell you a secret Silver 16 3251 May 2, 2018 at 10:58 am
Last Post: vorlon13
  Still a Christian - ask me questions/tell me about yourselves speedyj1992 194 40058 December 2, 2017 at 5:32 am
Last Post: downbeatplumb
  Tell Me About Your Teeth BrianSoddingBoru4 24 2382 November 28, 2017 at 2:43 am
Last Post: Edwardo Piet
  Woke up this morning to no water pressure. Brian37 18 3383 August 9, 2017 at 4:13 pm
Last Post: Brian37



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)