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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 22, 2017 at 11:56 pm
(September 22, 2017 at 11:16 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: (September 22, 2017 at 11:04 pm)AFTT47 Wrote: It was not one of my prouder moments but I once took a crap in somone's yard. It was when I lived in the U.S. Territory of Guam in the Pacific. I was a SCUBA instructor at the time and I had just done the academics portion of a class aboard a U.S. Navy ship called the Cable. I had made the supreme mistake of getting a bite to eat at Taco Bell before the class. It was early evening when it ended and I headed home. On the way, the urge to relieve myself became so powerful, I pulled over and performed the act in a stand of trees in someone's front yard. The alternative was to shit myself in the car.
To this day, I don't know what the aftermath was. There was no call to the police as far as I know. This was at the edge of their property and boarded a wooded area so it's possible it went undiscovered.
This was in 1997. I have yet to eat at Taco Bell since.
I'm inferring you did not enjoy a clean pinch . . . .
I'm not sure what you are referring to here, possibly because of me not being of the same sexual preference as yourself. All I can say is that I pinched as hard as I humanly could. It eventually became evident that my butt cheek muscles were not the equal of my colon muscles and that I would have to make a difficult choice. I seriously didn't want to massively shit myself while driving my car so I baled out in the most rural area possible and gave into the inevitable. There was no enjoyment. There was only great relief. I'm glad I didn't shit myself and REALLY glad I wasn't discovered.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 23, 2017 at 12:36 am
well, to revise and extend my comment;
you mentioned Taco Bell, so we'd infer a texture and consistency quite a tick off of optimum, and with the urgency and unexpected nature of your incident, a deposit is being made without benefit of any conveniences of our modern world, like TP
so, your pinch was it . . . .
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 23, 2017 at 12:50 am
South Park utilized this prank as a means of encouraging someone to move out of the neighborhood, provided it gets done on the undesirable person's doorstep for however long it takes for them to get the message.
Religions were invented to impress and dupe illiterate, superstitious stone-age peasants. So in this modern, enlightened age of information, what's your excuse? Or are you saying with all your advantages, you were still tricked as easily as those early humans?
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There is no better way to convey the least amount of information in the greatest amount of words than to try explaining your religious views.
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 23, 2017 at 3:28 am
(September 22, 2017 at 10:15 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: CL, what have you started?
CL knows we're just apes having a bit of fun with poo!
OMG, check this out! It's stuck on granma's face!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 23, 2017 at 10:07 am
Stephen Colbert's take on the issue.
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 23, 2017 at 9:26 pm
(September 23, 2017 at 3:28 am)ignoramus Wrote: (September 22, 2017 at 10:15 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: CL, what have you started?
CL knows we're just apes having a bit of fun with poo!
OMG, check this out! It's stuck on granma's face!
LMAO, that happened to my aunt one time when I was too young to remember but was told about it. The closest I ever got to that was a chimp bending over and spreading its ass cheeks at us at the zoo when I was 3 or 4.
Religions were invented to impress and dupe illiterate, superstitious stone-age peasants. So in this modern, enlightened age of information, what's your excuse? Or are you saying with all your advantages, you were still tricked as easily as those early humans?
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There is no better way to convey the least amount of information in the greatest amount of words than to try explaining your religious views.
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 24, 2017 at 9:48 am
Back in my water skiing days, somebody in the group would always have to take a shit when we were on the lake. We weren't going back to shore, that took up to much time. Shitting in the water was always preferable to shitting off the edge of the boat.
The best result was always a formed sinker not a floater or loosey goosey. If we thought the person got any on them they'd have to get dragged by the tow rope before we'd let them get back into the boat. Improvised full body bidet.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 24, 2017 at 10:56 am
Yesterday I managed to extrude a log of such structural integrity, it reached down to the water before snapping off. Shame I'm now banned from the pool, I'd have liked to see if I could beat my record on the next diving board up.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 24, 2017 at 11:02 am
I don't think of it as a bad thing. That person can believe pooping at someone's doorstep is a welcome. Why should the law be involved?
Oh wait I am mixing bs together.
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RE: Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!!
September 24, 2017 at 11:30 am
(This post was last modified: September 24, 2017 at 11:32 am by Edwardo Piet.)
I love the pun in the thread title.
(September 24, 2017 at 10:56 am)Cyberman Wrote: Yesterday I managed to extrude a log of such structural integrity, it reached down to the water before snapping off. Shame I'm now banned from the pool, I'd have liked to see if I could beat my record on the next diving board up.
The amount of public toilets I have blocked BEFORE using paper just with my crap.... is almost scary.
I'm almost Randy level:
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