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What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
#1
What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
Well, it has. The "missionary position" was intended to take all the fun out of sex. Happily, people are no more religious in their intercourse than in anything else in their lives, so all the tried-and-true positions are alive and well. And, of course, the truly dirty minds among us keep looking for new ones. Well-done, thou truly perv, well-done.
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#2
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
How is facing your partner while thrusting supposed to take the fun out of sex?
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#3
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
(October 9, 2017 at 7:51 am)Chad32 Wrote: How is facing your partner while thrusting supposed to take the fun out of sex?

See? That's the point. It was supposed to take the fun out of sex, based on the experiences of tight-ass missionary couples. Sex, according to them, was solely for reproduction. 

But we're adaptable. It's still my least favorite position. My favorite is the one where the man sits cross-legged and the lady sits with her legs around him. (I can never remember the name for that one.)
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#4
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
I'd take a hand full of flour, dust liberally, and try again.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#5
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
I believe one singer called it riding the disco stick.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#6
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
I wouldn't give a shit. It's my least favorite position.

I prefer doggystyle, wheelbarrow, cowgirl and 69 all to missionary.
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#7
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
(October 9, 2017 at 8:18 am)Hammy Wrote: I wouldn't give a shit. It's my least favorite position.

I prefer doggystyle, wheelbarrow, cowgirl and 69 all to missionary.

I met a gal in Miami who prefered reverse cowgirl. Took me a while to figure out that she was watching herself in the mirror.  Dodgy
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#8
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
(October 9, 2017 at 8:30 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:
(October 9, 2017 at 8:18 am)Hammy Wrote: I wouldn't give a shit. It's my least favorite position.

I prefer doggystyle, wheelbarrow, cowgirl and 69 all to missionary.

I met a gal in Miami who prefered reverse cowgirl. Took me a while to figure out that she was watching herself in the mirror.  Dodgy

Well that's ok.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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#9
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
(October 9, 2017 at 8:37 am)downbeatplumb Wrote:
(October 9, 2017 at 8:30 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: I met a gal in Miami who prefered reverse cowgirl. Took me a while to figure out that she was watching herself in the mirror.  Dodgy

Well that's ok.

I wasn't the first person to discover that she considered other people extraneous and went out with men solely for a free meal and some drinks. Truly an inflatable person.
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#10
RE: What Would You Do If Missionary Position Failed?
(October 9, 2017 at 8:43 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:
(October 9, 2017 at 8:37 am)downbeatplumb Wrote: Well that's ok.

I wasn't the first person to discover that she considered other people extraneous and went out with men solely for a free meal and some drinks. Truly an inflatable person.

There is a time and a place for women like that.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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